Melodi and Lacey arrived from California on Feb.21 around 2a.m. in the morning. I didn't even know they were home until I woke up the next morning. Super nice way to start the day!
When the girls woke up it had snowed a good 6 inches. It kept snowing all day and we ended up with about 11 inches, give or take an inch. Depending on whether you were standing in a hole or not. It was snowing hard, really hard. Lacey was mesmerized by the snow. We have a huge window in our living room with a good view of the bird feeders, the woods across our gravel road and all the places the dogs decide to go poop. Why they can't go in the back yard I will never know.
After a big country breakfast the girls decided to go outside and explore. Maybe make some snow angels and just generally play in the snow. We had all sorts of Carhart overalls, jackets, insulators, gloves and goofy hats for them to wear. Before they walked out the door my camera was flashing. I gotta admit they did look cute .
The woods and trees were beautiful. It was snowing hard and fast most of the day. In the picture below Melodi had made a snow angel and then had on too many clothes to get up. Lacey had to help her.
They wandered around outside for about an hour. Lacey was amazed at the amount of snow we had received, the quietness caught her attention also. They both became worried when they realized the road was closed.We are used to roads being closed in bad weather. Melodi was raised that way but has been living all over the United States and had not lived in a place like ours for quite some years. We got the old photo albums out and showed Lacey the way Melodi grew up. It was a fun trip to wander in the past and tell stories the way each of us remembered them. It is amazing to me still, that people can live in the same house, with the same people and remember things differently. It is all about perspective.We each have our own story to tell.
Lacey had never had snow cream. She loved it. We made it twice while they were here. We cooked homemade chili and cornbread. Made chocolate oatmeal cookies, and a good stew, and hot chocolate to top things off. It was all winter comfort foods that we wanted to share with the girls. It was some of Melodi's favorite 'snowed in ---no school today foods'.
We enjoyed their visit and look forward to many more. I hope they have a safe trip back to California. I am sending them copies of all the pictures we made, along with a heaping amount of love.
This story is for Greg. I started his book "House of Cards" earlier in the week. I sat up late one night reading it. I was very bothered by some of his experiences. It once again confirmed my conviction that life is not fair. There is no other way to explain the world we live in or the things that happen to innocent people every where, every day.
From birth the odds were against Greg to have a normal life. He was born with an extra x chromosome Making his genetics xxy. The name for this is Klinefelter Syndrome. He needed medication to help him live a normal life. At times, too many times to count, the medication was denied and he had to tough it out alone and contend with his body and family as best he could. He beat the odds. He survived and is a wonderful young man full of promise and life. However, to reach this place in life he had to fight, forgive, accept and learn to love himself and others the way they are, instead of the way we wish they were. This is something everyone of us deals with almost on a daily basis. It is called 'Life 101' and it is not fair nor is it easy. The good news is, life is worth the challenge. It goes by so very fast. No one can change their past but the future, now there is where the promise lies in wait. It is within our grasp to make our life, our future what we want and desire. Greg is on his way to doing just that.
I chose the Eagle picture because I love eagles and search for them all the time. They are majestic, fierce and protected. Hurt and eagle and you will go to jail. Hurt a child and that is not always the case.
Greg's book, "House of Cards" is the struggle of an eagle boy kept in a cage, abused, hurt and restricted from flying. Finally the cage door is open, Greg is free to soar and claim his own identity. He is on his way to writing the rest of his life. Best wishes my friend.
"Eagle Falls' by Val Brackenridge. I brought this postcard from zazzle.com/wilderness shop. It is a beautiful picture by a fine artist. Thank you for creating and sharing your work.
My stress level has been somewhere between intolerable and completely off the chart, these past few weeks. When we left the hospital, we were given specific instructions about Tommy's post op care. I have to check on him every fifteen minutes for 2 months. That lasted a week. One morning Tommy gets up and says, "I am going to visit Ben for awhile." I remember thinking, "good", and he took off. Then it hit me. Neither one of those two have a cell phone. My imagination was going crazy as I started to get dressed to take Tommy a cell phone that he will not use! While I was throwing on some clothes, the phone rang. It was a neighbor who lives about 5 miles from me.
I am blessed with all sorts of friends and this little lady is a character and a treasure. She is beautiful inside and out. She is about 80 years old with ageless chocolate brown skin and is what I call a 'wise woman'. We have known each other for 30 years, I worked at a trading post and she worked at the nucular power plant as a nurse. We became good friends. We don't talk every day or even every month. However, we have a connection. We know when to call or drop in and visit.
Sue called me the morning Tommy took off by himself and I got scared. She asked me how I was doing and I told her what was going on. Very calmly she said, "Now Vicky, Tommy is your man. He is used to taking care of you. He is used to being strong and independent. He can't stop a lifetime of actions in the blink of an eye. Let him go." I interupeted her, saying, "But Sue, he is so sick." That is when she spoke words right straight to my heart and I knew it was the right thing to do. She repeated once again, "Let him go". He won't go far and you are never out of his mind. He won't worry you too much. He knows what you have been through. When he gets out of the car, give God thanks, when he leaves ask for 'protection' and when he comes in the house give him a big kiss and a hug. Let him know you are glad to see him." And I did. It worked. We are still together nearly all of the time but we take breaks.....small breaks. We have made a lot of plans. Sunday we drove down to what is left of the Missouri River. Took some photos, found some old shacks that I love to photograph. When we got home we took a nap.
I do believe our lives have changed. That is ok, we still have our lives and we will live them to fullest that we can. As long as a couple or a person has a dream, a purpose or a Bucket List they are still in the game. AND let me tell you, we have all three. Game On!!!
This picture was taken 7 months ago on the 4th of July at Tami's. Life was easy and fun.
Somewhere in the midst of living a fairly normal life on February 6th, our world was turned upside down. It was shaken to the core, and hung out to dry on a rope clothesline secured only by a very brittle, weathered clothespin. A catstrophe happened in a matter of seconds. As the wind whips and dries the clothes on a line, our lives were whipped, dried, and torn at the hospital.
Tommy was scheduled to have a heart ablation procedure done to help get his heart back in to sinus rhythm. The surgeon had completed a successful five hour ablation on Tommy. As the doctor was telling his nurse that everything was fine, Tommy bottomed out and ended up on life support. This was not supposed to happen. There is no known reason why this occurred. Everyone in the room was stunned. Crisis mode kicked in and they did what they were trained to do.
Lisa and I had received a phone call saying the surgery went fine. The doctor would come out and talk to us in about an hour. We were in the process of enjoying the good news with a walk to look at the Memory Garden. Both of us were excited and talking at the same time. It was a good feeling. The anxious thoughts and fears began to ebb and flow, slowly easing its way to a peaceful shore line. Tommy was going to be fine. The five hour operation was over.
In about the same amount of time it took me to write the above paragraph, everything changed. His doctor and nurse were racing to find us. My cell phone rang and it was the doctor's office but no message. We thought it was a fluke. My phone is an odd, little, cheap duck, it does random things all the time. Lisa and I laughed. That was the last laugh we would have for 3 days.
We met the doctor and nurse in the hall. They led us back to the waiting room and asked us to sit down. He began telling us what happened or as much as he knew. We were told Tommy was now in Intensive Care and we could see him in about an hour. There was a heavy stillness that hung in the air as the doctor finished talking. I was stunned.
Our first look at Tommy was frightening. He was barely recognizable. Tubes were running everywhere. Machines filled the room. Monitors appeared to be going crazy with racing, changing stats. The first visit we didn't stay long in his room. We were in the way. Each of us gave him a kiss and told him we loved him. I remember asking him to "fight and fight harder than he ever fought before". He told me later he remembered me saying to "fight". I had not mentioned this to him at all. How he remembered I will never know. He was knocked out, appearing to be a million miles from us. He was on a ventilator, and yet he heard.
Lisa and I went to the ICU waiting room, filled with other people who had loved ones in critical condition. One family was in the process of loosing their mother and grandmother. She died that night. There was a young woman about 33 years old, whose husband was having numerous operations to repair a bowel. He was so sick and will be in the hospital at least 2 months and have numerous operations. She will not let any one speak a negative word in her presence. She helped me that first night. I will go back and check on her each week. Her name is Tammy and can use all the prayers she can receive.
On the 3rd day Tommy did a complete 180 degree turn around. It was incredible to watch. The doctors were puzzled, the nurses confused and we were amazed, all of us were happy. Hourly his condition improved and tubes were reduced. He was sent to the cardiac unit the next day. On Wednesday he was discharged. He is to take it easy for the next 2 months. They will reevaluate his condition at that time.
Thank you all for visits, texts, calls, prayers, and a special thanks to Lisa. I don't know what I would have done without Lisa Wednesday night and every other night I fell apart. You all prayed and reached God's ear and for that I will be eternally thankful and grateful. When Tommy was being discharged, the doctor once again said he could not give him any reason for what had happened. He said "we will probably never know what happened". Then he called him "our miracle man."
God stepped in and did what man could not do. I believe that. Why or for what purpose I don't know. Why didn't He heal everyone in the intensive care unit? I don't know. I have no clue, but I believe with all my heart He healed Tommy and for that I am more grateful than anyone will ever know.
To be continued...................our story isn't over yet.
When I was a little girl I was raised on the old wives tale, "Bad things come in three's". My grandmother believed this to be a fact, nine times out ten, it usually came true. One person we knew would die and within a week or 10 days two more people we knew would die. It was probably a coincidence, however this little girl kept count, just in case. Regardless of the reasoning, it made a lasting impression on me. I believed it with all my heart.
People die every day. However when death becomes personal we take more notice. The old saying takes on new meaning.
In our family we have been blessed beyond measure nevertheless, like other families we have our share of troubles and heartaches. That is part of being alive. If we didn't have any battles to fight, how strong would our faith be? If we didn't have battles to fight, would life hold the same value? If we didn't have any battles to fight, how would we ever know what we are made of? Could we have compassion without the trial? As strange as it may sound, I think most of us need some of the battles we fight. Maybe not all battles, but some to help form compassion for other people, going through the struggle we have already completed or are still fighting.
There are some battles that never end or give a person a fighting chance. Many people suffer from the day they are born until they die, for no apparent reason except fate. Life is not fair. Famine, disease, dictators, unworkable land, unreasonable governments and religions that are base and cruel, wars that never end, weather more forceful and terrible than the last storm to pass through leaving in its wake a lifetime in rubble. These things plague nations around the world. The list goes on, the atrocities added daily and yet most survive. They live. They beat the odds and live to fight another day. What lessons did they learn about life? Probably, more than we will ever know.
Our family has been hit by mental and physical stress these past two months. Tami has to have surgery on her spine. This is a new avenue we have never traveled down before. For us as a family it is very scary. The fear of the unknown pokes his head up, off and on each day. I will be glad when it is over, and Tami is safe and well. I would gladly trade places with her, if I could. She is too young to have to go through this much pain.
Tommy has to have work done on his heart. When I listen to his heart beating through a stethoscope I cringe. The beat is faint and all over the place. It is nothing like the strong young man's heart of 40 years ago. I miss that heart. I love the old heart. I am also afraid of it.
Today I was told I need to have a "suspicious looking cyst or something" removed from my left breast. I have had this done before. The first time I was frantic and scared to death. True to form nothing went exactly like it was supposed to go. The surgery was almost 3 hours. The lab report took forever to get back to the doctor. I was so worried. When my doctor finally received the report he called me at home, around 7 p.m. on a Tuesday night. I was shocked he called me and so relieved. He had been in surgery all day and I could tell by his voice he was exhausted. He didn't hurry the conversation. The words he said to me were the exact words I needed to hear. He told me the cysts were benign, however the report said I had the cancer gene BRCA1 and 2 and would need to be monitored closely. I think my voice became a little quivery after that. It was then my doctor said the perfect words to me. Words I have heard in my head many times and words I heard today when I received another scare report.
My doctor said, "Vicky you have to go on and live your life. You can not worry about what might happen. This is out of your control." He went on to say, " Your situation is kind of like giving a teenager a car...most of them make it home every night....and you will too. Live your life and do not worry about something that may never happen." It was the best advice I have ever received. I heard those words again today and I still believe them.
