Saturday, December 30, 2017

Saying Good Bye to 2017. . .

  I am delighted that 2017 is hours away from no longer existing. I honestly think it has been the worst year of my life. However, as bad as 2017 was at times, we made it. The journey was not pretty or easy by any means. Tommy went through hell and so did our family.  Tommy is alive and is doing well. We have a three month check up in January. The 3rd,4th and, 5th are the days the VA checks Tommy out from top to bottom to see if he is still cancer free and everything else is working as it should. We are believing the results will be good news. He still has pain from the shingles in his left arm but Lyrica is doing wonders for the PHP. There are a couple other things that need to be healed but in the long run, he is fine.
   The girls and I can actually sleep and breath almost like normal people. There was a time when I thought this would never happen again. I am so glad I was wrong.
    Not everything that happened in 2017 was bad. We had many blessings come our way. Tami moved to Troy and purchased a new home. She fell in love with Jake Gordy. His family has doubled our pleasure. The holidays were so nice with all the young people, his brother, and his Mom. We needed all that laughter. 
    Melodi, Lacey, and Rowan visited us in April. Most of our family members were born in April so they came in to celebrate. We all took Rowan to the zoo. I think it was my favorite day of the summer.  There were six adults and two children, Logan and Rowan. The laughs were bouncing off the bricks as we rambled around the zoo. It was a wonderful day trip.
    When Tommy got sick, Lisa and Lisle came in to help out. Lisle had to go back to Florida but Lisa stayed with us for weeks while Tami moved into her new home. Tami had been staying with us off and on for days at a time. It was a cluster smuck in every sense of the word. Everything that happened to Tommy was unexpected, coming somewhere out of left field. For several months we did not know if he would live or not. Live he did!!
     Tommy and I missed our families back home. We had a break in doctor appointments and took off for home in Kentucky and Tennessee for five days. It was a brother and sister kind of visit. The trip was filled with laughter, good food, and several trips to Reelfoot Lake. Tommy and I really needed to spend time with his brothers and sisters. We had a wonderful time, remembering old memories and making new memories. It did us a world of good to get away for awhile.
    Today is Dec.30th. We have snow on the ground and wind chill advisories until Monday or Tuesday. Our home smells like cinnamon spice with a touch of the wood stove thrown into the mix. We are warm and toasty. Life is good, not perfect but good. For me, that is enough. Happy New Year to all our friends and family. I thank you all for your prayers, gifts, cards, care packages, messages, and love. You all have made this year easier on us. Thank you and Happy New Year to each and every one!
    
     

Wednesday, December 6, 2017

Merry Christmas--VA Style...

    Yesterday we had an  8:30 appointment with the optometrist at the VA.  I told Tommy I would stay downstairs while he had his eyes checked.  I wanted to take some photos of the huge Christmas tree in the lobby.  It is one of the prettiest trees I have ever seen. When I saw it Monday, I didn't have my camera. Today I remembered to put the camera in my purse. I was on a mission.
      The lobby, where the huge tree stands, appeared close to empty. No one had turned on the news channel yet. People were sitting in silent clusters as they waited for a loved one or an appointment. The aroma of coffee filled the air.  Since it was a cloudy day, the sky lights added to the darkness in the lobby.  All I had on my mind was coffee and the tree. I could have sworn  yesterday when I saw this tree it was lit up. I walked  around the tree twice trying to find the connections for the lights. I couldn't find anything. I strolled up to the front desk and asked the three men sitting there, "How do I turn on that beautiful Marine tree?" That, my friends, is when the place lit up!! They all started laughing. The man closest to me said,"What makes you think that is a 'Marine' tree?? I don't see a Marine here. I am Air Force, he is Army and my buddy over there is Navy. Do you see a Marine in here???"  I knew I had already stepped in it so I was ready to have some fun.  I said."I married a Marine. Looks like a Marine tree to me!!" They all started laughing and talking at once. I could have sworn one of them said, "We make the Marines wait outside!" He told me to go plug up the tree. I told him there was no place to plug it up. I had already looked. He was still laughing when he said, "Do you want me to walk back there and fix the 'Marine' tree for you?"  I said, "Or you could fly since you are 'Air Force".  He laughed at my smart ass response and got up to go with me to the tree. The men behind me were still talking and laughing at us. When we reached the tree, he couldn't find a way to plug it up. Finally, from behind the tree, someone said, "It doesn't light up." I told him I could have sworn it was lit up the other day. He said the sun was probably shining and that made it look like it was lit up. He also mentioned the tree did not have lights. The Air Force man and I laughed, shook hands and went our separate ways. I thanked him for his service. As he walked back up front, I heard him mutter and laugh again, "Marine tree".
     As I sat down, I began to study the tree. It is made of red, white and blue sparkly leaves mixed in with the greenery of the tree, to symbolize our flag.  Purple hearts are the only decorations on the bottom two thirds of the tree. They symbolize bravery, sacrifice and often death and honor. The top part of the tree is decorated with white stars. The angel on top of the tree is a soldier encased in white wings.  This tree made me stop and think about all the young men and women who won't be home for Christmas. Some are serving at their duty stations waiting for orders to go somewhere else.  Some will never make it home alive. As always, when I go to the VA, I get a sense of pride and I am thankful once again that I married a Marine and shared his last two years of duty. We made memories to last a lifetime.
     My prayer for the United States is for peace. I know that is an impossibility. Every day the news gets worse. Peace on Earth is an illusion this year...but a good illusion indeed.

                                                             

Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Tommy, 'Jelly Roll' and I go to Prison. . .

     When Tommy and I arrived at the Missouri State Penitentiary yesterday,  I was as excited as any little girl would be on Christmas Eve. Unusual people and places grab my attention.  They always have.  I was an only child and had an imaginary friend named Billy. I lived in my imagination.  That is how I grew up. Apparently, nothing has changed. That fact may be one of many reasons I am in therapy.
    Yesterday, as the tour began, we took a seat while our tour guide gave us the run down on what all we would see. He knew former corrections officers were in the group. He asked the group to raise their hands if anyone one worked at MSP and to state their jobs.  Three men raised their hands. Two of them said, "Corrections Officer" the third said, "Convict".  I knew right then it was going to be a good day. I looked at the man, laughed and said, "Really???".  He laughed and said "Really".  We were talking earlier, in the bookstore, about the paintings some of the inmates created
    We all stood to begin our tour. The convict lined up with Tommy and me.  I was delighted.  I knew he would have stories to share and I wanted to hear them all.  He also gave me permission to write a blog about our day and I could use any photos I had taken.  In turn I bought his book. It is titled, "St. Louis and Southern Illinois Crime". Love it. I am still the little girl that collected or stole the "Wanted Posters" from the Post Office when I was a little girl. This was a perfect day for me.
    I was surprised how huge the 'housing units' were and also how dirty the place was.  Of course it was built in 1836 and closed in 2004. It opened the same year as the battle at the Alamo was fought. States west of the Missouri line did not exist.  The prison is rough, rugged and still standing. Everything was made of rock and iron.  The housing unit we were seeing is where our friend,  Jim "Jelly Roll" Cochran lived for a while. He said, "The first time I was here,"  he was on the second tier. Of course 'first time' caught my attention.  He said he was at MSP three different times.  He missed going to Alcatraz by one month.  They closed it before he got there. He was also in Leavenworth.  I laughed and told him that what ever he did he wasn't very good at it. He laughed and said. 'I was a bank robber...and no I wasn't very good. But I sure did like the money.'   He also said he robbed grocery stores in Jefferson City for his first run in with the law.  Jim missed the riot at MSP, but he did get in on the clean up. I think he said he lived in East St. Louis. That is still a rough area to grow up in.

   We stayed on the first tier. We were allowed to roam in and out of the cells. They were incredibly small. When the prison was most overcrowded, they had six men in a cell.  The cells were so small, I can not fathom where these six men slept.Tommy said they probably took turns sleeping.  It was also cold in the building. The dungeon was down stairs. They took us in this place and turned out the lights. I could not see my hand in front of my face.  One man supposedly was sentenced to the dungeon for 18 years. He was only allowed out of his cell to shower and that was twice a week.  I don't know what kept him from going insane or blind. He had straw for a bed and one blanket. Two buckets, one full of water and the other one was his toilet. There is some debate about the length of time he served in this madness. When he was released he wrote a book about his incarceration. I personally have some doubts about this story. I think it is based on a truth just not the whole truth.  Jim didn't believe it, neither did Tommy. 

   Originally, people sentenced to death were taken to downtown Jefferson City and hung in the town square by the sheriff.  In 1937 Gov. Stark signed a bill calling for the death penalty to be by lethal gas. Between 1937-1989, forty inmates were put to death in the gas chamber. That was the last place we visited. We walked down a path to a small building where a white cross was embedded in the rock walkway.  It was made by an inmate. We were allowed in the building and could have our photos made while sitting in the gas chamber chairs. There were two of them side by side. A huge window gives spectators a view of the execution from the side and a little behind the convicted felons.  Our tour guide told us to remember that 40 people had died here and to be respectful. Several people had their photos made. Tommy and I were two of them. As I think about it, I have no clue why we would want to do this.  It just seemed like a good idea at the time. 

 Soon our tour was over and we all went our separate ways. Jim, Tommy and I walked back to our cars. Jim gave me his book and signed it" To Vicky Carter from Jim 'Jelly Roll' Cochran." He made a note in the book to the articles that pertained to him.  He was funny and very gracious. We thoroughly enjoyed meeting him.
 He is 72 and married. He goes to church and meets up with his buddies once a week for breakfast.  Oh to be a fly on the wall at that breakfast table. I bet the stories are priceless.

Below are a few photos I took at MSP.  












                           


 

Wednesday, November 22, 2017

Staying in the Moment. . .My Thanksgiving Wish for All...

    This year has taken its toll on me mentally.   I have never faced as much fear, anger, rage and loss of control as I have this past year.  All of that was new and scary to me. I had stockpiled my mind with years and years of less that perfect life choices and unmanageable people.  Instead of facing the problems head on, I compartmentalized my mind and would visit these people, events and mentally relive it all over again.  I would make different decisions in how I should have handled something that no longer needed to be handled. The past can not be changed. That is why it is called  'the past'.  It is gone. Done. The time to change situations is no longer on the table. However, that is the way I thought for most of my life. It is a dangerous way to live mentally.  Sooner or later, what you are dwelling on will come out and slap you in the face at the most unusual time.  I know it happened to me. I ended up in therapy, a place I never ever expected to need.  Honestly, looking back over my life, I needed a therapists years and years ago. I would talk to my best friends. I have been blessed with many who listened.  We tried to help each other and we did. I think everyone needs a best friend outside of their marriage.  I always had one. When Carol died, after we retied, I no longer had the chance or the will to make a best friend. I had Tommy and I thought that was enough. It wasn't.  I needed a female best friend who understands the way women think.  Tommy is an amazing partner however men and women do not think alike. . . or at least we don't.
    That is how I ended up in therapy. I am paying good money for a "best friend" who listens and gives me truthful insight into my life and mind.  The one thing Nancy says over and over, "Stay in the moment. Keep you mind in the here and now."  I call it,"wandering off the reservation." It is a mental challenge every day. I really am not wired that way. I told her that yesterday. She said none of us are. I work on that daily. We have choices in that area. The choices are sneaky. They keep trying to go back to my old way  of thinking. Truthfully, they often succeed.
    Nancy gave me a reading list about "mindfulness", living life in the moment. I purchased six books. I have read half of one book. It is a good, informative book entitled, "Wherever You Go There You Are" written by Jon Kabat- Zinn. It is an easy book to read but reprogramming my mind is so much harder that I thought it would be. And truthfully, it sounded hard to me when I read the list.
    I have returned to painting, it is something I do where I have to stay focused. It helps and I am enjoying one of my old loves again. Writing has been more difficult. The blog I wrote earlier this week was like planting a garden with a three blade push tiller. The harder I pushed, the deeper the dirt. This is the blog that wanted to be written. I didn't want to write it. So my muse and I were at a standstill. In fact, when I sat down to write today, this is not what I intended to write.  However, it was what I needed to say.
    If there is anyone reading this blog that feels overwhelmed with life and loosing control. My recommendations are find a therapists you can talk to, also find a church. I haven't gone to church yet. That is the next thing to do. I am going back to my old church. It is where I should have been going all the time.
    Have a wonderful Thanksgiving, enjoy your family and friends. Immerse yourself in the moment of Thanksgiving. Much love to all. Vicky

Sunday, November 19, 2017

I Really Need to get out More Often ...

   I am delighted with our new to us Subaru Outback. I did have to order a manual for it, because this car has more bells and whistles than any car we have ever owned. We have 'fog lights'. . .who knew??
   I have driven 'my' car four times. Since retirement, Tommy and I go everywhere together.  He always drives because he hates the way I drive.  We retired in 2009  and I have been behind the wheel very little.  The other day, I had an appointment and Tommy did not feel like going so I drove myself.  It felt great to be behind the wheel. Everything was great until I tried to get on I-70. This interstate has been taken over by eighteen wheeler's.  I waited for an opening on a ramp, while traffic flew by me at the speed of light.  Finally, I see an opening and I am in there in a flash.  I was doing 70 when I merged onto the highway.  Within a few seconds I was surrounded by three eighteen wheeler's.  One was in front, the second was beside me and the third one was trying hard to jump in my back seat.  We raced along for a few minutes. The guy behind me closed in a little more.  I had nowhere to go. There was no way I could cut off the truck beside me and pass the one in front of me. That is what the trucker behind me wanted but I refused.  As far as I was concerned he could switch lanes and push the other eighteen wheeler and see how far he would get.  My exit was coming up and Mama was staying put. My exit could not get there soon enough. I turned on my exit signal and the trucker blared down on his horn.  I didn't care.  He was off my wazoo and I was on my way to Kingdom City.  I tried to turn off my signal and my windshield wipers came on.  It wasn't raining!! I finally got the wipers off.  I was ready to get off the road for a few minutes.
    I looked at the gas tank and decided to fill up and get a cup of coffee. I pulled in by the pumps, got out to add fuel and there was no gas flap.  I walked around the car and there it was on the right hand side. I had never noticed that. So I pull out and around the tanks.  I get out of the car and there still is no gas tank. So I get back in the car and make a huge loop in the parking lot and came in on the left side of the pumps. I think I got a standing ovation when my car and pump lined up and I began to put in the gas. I felt like an idiot. . .I looked like an idiot. Did I care? Not really! There wasn't one person I knew within sight. They were laughing their wazoo off at my mistakes.  So was I!!  Who cares?  I certainly didn't. I took a bow and got in my car and off  I  drove to have a new adventure.
    I turned on the temperature and had to wrestle with the controls to get the air conditioner off and the heat on.  I didn't do it exactly right. I had heat on my side and in my seat. However, the passenger side was blowing cool air. I needed to look that up when I get home. Now I know what to do...I think.  I drove all over the place. I went to Mexico and back to Fulton.  It was a nice day to be out and about. I have a few more things to learn about my car. There a four buttons down low on the left side. I need to find out what they do. I found my cell phone charger and hidden compartments in the back area.  I started to open my sunroof but chickened out. I will try that one at home.  Needless to say I love this car. I need to drive it more so I can get used to it.
    The next time we go to the V.A. I am driving. Tommy will not care for this idea I am sure. That is ok he will get over it especially after they stick needles in his ears for acupuncture. I will be so glad when he is well and really enjoying our life together again. 
   


Monday, October 30, 2017

Happy 16th Birthday Jacy...

 Saturday night at Applebee's  in Warrenton we celebrated Jacy Rayne's 16 birthday. In the photo to the left are Logan her brother, the birthday girl Jacy and her super good friend Morgan. We all had such a good time. 
  Jacy was our first grandchild and was born on Melodi's birthday. She was a delight and answered prayer.  We lived close to them for the first 3 years and we kept Jacy on our days off. She had her own room as did Logan a few years later. She loved playing dress up. Here is one of my favorite photos when she was little. I had some old red material and we made her a princess dress. Fixed her hair in an 'up do' and she was happy all night.
   Now she is doing things on a phone that I will never understand. I look at her homework and wonder who are these teachers and where did they originate! Jacy is learning things I still haven't learned...and that is fine with me.
   Jacy is musically inclined. She plays the viola, the guitar and sings beautifully.  I would love to take credit for something she does but she gets her talents from Tami and Tommy. Did I mention she is a great baker?  That might be my side but I wouldn't swear to it; since I no longer like to cook!
   It has been so much fun to watch Jacy grow up. She is a bit of an introvert. That is Aaron and me for sure. 
   I love to hear her laugh. When she was little I loved to watch her sleep. We have traveled many a mile in our old rocking chair. She was the perfect first grandchild as any proud grandmother would say,  Papa and I love you dearly. We wish only the best for you as you grow up so very fast. Love you, Nonnie


Happy Birthday Melodi ...

   It is hard to believe that my baby girl is 38 years old today. She is a mother and business woman. I love this photo. Melodi and Lacey look so happy as Lacey holds their daughter Rowan, who happens to be a lit stick of dynamite. 
   When Rowan was born she did not cry. She looked the room over, met her Moms and was delighted with what she saw. She has been such a wonderful addition to our lives. Having a new grandchild at 67 is a blessing indeed. When the girls came in for a visit a few weeks ago, they stayed the first few days with us. There was so much laughter and photos made. They left most of Rowan's yogurt and I have just about finished it off. I smile every time I open a yogurt stick and indulge in baby girl's snack.   
   Melodi is a wonderful mother, wife and daughter. I know I can count on her. It is the same way with our other two daughters Lisa, and Tami, and our daughter of our heart Lacey. That means a lot to parents. Just knowing they are there to share their lives or listen as we share our lives. These past three years have been anything but easy for Tommy and me.  Our daughters and grandchildren made life as easy on us as they could. I could never thank God enough for all our blessings our children have brought into our lives.  Happy Birthday Melodi!!!  

Saturday, October 14, 2017

Thank God for Daughters. . .


Tommy and I have been blessed with three wonderful, amazing daughters. Although we do not live close to each other we get together as often as we can. If there is a health emergency one or all three will arrive as soon as possible. Since Tommy has been sick over the past five months, Tami stayed with us at the hospital for nights on end. Sleeping in uncomfortable recliners. It was touch and go for about three weeks. Then Tami had to make the move to Troy to the new home she was buying. It was impossible for her to even try to help. Her plate was running over with everything and anything that could go wrong, trying its best to drive her to the brink of endurance. Someone even tried to steal her backyard from a legal standpoint. That was a new one for all of us. Tami needed rest...if you can call moving rest.
     Enters Lisa!  Lisle drove Lisa to Missouri to help us out. She worked for a neurologist for several years .  She speaks their medical language which is far from the normal language Tommy and I speak. When a new doctor was explaining  a new procedure they were going to try. She understood exactly what they meant. We also became very familiar with sleeping arrangements at the VA and the University. We learned to always have a bag ready and sitting by the back door for ourselves and a bag for all of Tommy's information. The reason for this is sometimes if you are working with three hospitals and a emergency happens in the middle of the night,  information gets lost in the transfer. This is where making friends with the nursing staff is critical. They are there to help and do a great job when needed.  After about three weeks Tommy was stable enough for her to go home.  Like Tami, Lisa was perfect when push came to shove and we were medically over our heads.
                                                        
Finally, things were looking up for Tommy. We could handle the rest. Right now it is more wait and see than anything else. We are still at the VA once or twice a week for tests. I drove the Blazer to town and the transmission blew up in it. I barely made it home. Tommy's truck would no longer change gears. Something was wrong and that left us with nothing to drive and dr. appointments up the wazoo.  Enter Melodi, when I talked to Melodi she had strep throat and was sick as a dog. But she had a plan. Her mother in law, Jamie was going to sell her mothers Subaru Outback and she wanted to know if we would like to buy it. Absolutely we wanted to buy it. The only problem was it was in California. Tommy couldn't make the drive, He gets exhausted going to Columbia and Walmart. I offered to fly out and drive it back. That was voted down before I got the words out of my mouth. So Melodi took a lot of medicine and made the trip. She ran into ice, winds and I think some snow. Probably a good idea I didn't fly out and drive it home. We got everything worked out finally.  I had a nervous rage of crying and emotions I had held in for years. It couldn't stop talking or crying once I finally got started. No one committed me but I am sure it was discussed. Stress brings out the worst in people and I had reached my maximum point. However, as of today, Tommy is driving by himself to check out something for deer season and Logan. I am back to normal or my version of normal. That one could be debated. I have said this many times before. When Tommy and I made Lisa, Tami and Melodi, we made magic.

Thank you girls for all you have done for us, Love you to the moon and back.


    

Thursday, October 12, 2017

Finally After Forty Years, We Find the Zoo

   I have wanted to go to the St. Louis Zoo since 1980. We made several futile attempts to find it, but never did. It is almost unbelievable considering we drove 9,967 miles to Alaska and only made one wrong turn in the Yukon. That drive was exciting and wonderful. Trying to find the zoo nearly caused us to divorce the first time we tried. We were going to surprise the girls and wanted to make sure we knew how to get there.  Every time we tried to find the zoo we were close but not close enough. We didn't have a navigation guide, or Sirri, but we did have me and a map. After going to the zoo on Sunday, I still could not find the zoo again if I had too.   However, I know I could find my way back to Alaska without a problem. Go figure. . .
   We had a wonderful day. Melodi, Lacey, Rowan, Logan, Tami and Jake plus the two of us, simply had good ole family fun. Rowan got to see her elephants.  She was a perfect joy. She loves life with a passion and she is only about 18 months old. The look on her face when she saw the elephants was priceless.  

    I could not wait to see the  Giraffes. They are my favorite wild animal.  Wouldn't you know the giraffes and the elephants were on opposite sides of the zoo.  It was a beautiful trek and we saw all sorts of animals as we walked.  Logan our grandson spent a lot of time with us and that was a pleasure.    


       Since I was a young girl and read my first story about giraffes; I have been fascinated with them.  I have often said, 'God was  showing off  when He created giraffes, because nothing about a giraffe is considered normal.' They are the tallest mammal  in the world.  The male's height ranges from  16 to 20 feet. The female is about 15 feet tall. I thought it was cruel that a giraffe's neck is almost too short to reach the ground. That makes them vulnerable when they spread their legs or kneel to eat or drink water. Usually they only drink water two or three times a week. They get most of their moisture from the plants they eat.
      Giraffes spend most of their time standing up. They even sleep standing up. To me that seems unfair. To make matters worse they also give birth standing up. That is a heck of a wake up call for a newborn giraffe.  I was not disappointed at all when I finally saw the giraffes. I had seen them once before when we went to the zoo with Tami after she was out of basic training in South Carolina.
               

   One of my favorite photos was of Logan after he climbed up a band of rocks.







It was a good day in our part of the world.




Wednesday, October 11, 2017

Letting go of a Memory. . .

  Yesterday we gave my mother's car away. It will be sold at a auction Thursday and the proceeds will go to help autistic children.
  This car and I have a long history. Mama purchased her new car in 1991. It had plush wine for the interior. At times I would get a whiff of Mama's perfume, 'Woman,' when I opened her car door. Tami has caught the odor too.  It pleased us to think that perhaps Mama was paying us a visit. Perhaps she wanted to go shopping with us. Whatever it was, it made for a good day.
   When Mama was hospitalized for Alzheimer's, Daddy parked her car, bought him a truck and saved 'Betty's car'. We knew she would never come home but selling her car was out of the question.  Daddy gave me her car about three years before I took it. I had a good vehicle and I knew Mama hated the gravel road I lived on. I didn't think she would want her car driven daily on such a road. Finally, Daddy told me if I didn't take the car he had a man who wanted to buy it and he was going to sell the car for $5,000.  I decided to take it. 
   My blazer had to be fixed and Mama's car was driven a lot that summer. In fact, I loved driving her. She drove like a new car and I loved her. We took her to California. From there we drove up to Washington and across the old West. When we crossed the "Bridge of the God's" connecting Oregon and Washington. In Oregon we accidentally got in an antique car show line up. That poor car had just driven about 700 miles that day. She was almost as dirty and tired asTommy and I were. To add insult to injury, some old lady yelled, "Well, for heaven's sake, why didn't they wash and polish that pretty car before they got in the parade. PARADE?????  Who knew???. We got out of that line up fast. All we wanted was a room and something to eat.  I wrote a blog about that afternoon but I don't remember the title but I sure do remember the day! Thank God for memories.
  We finally decided to donate Mama's car to a charity. She would be proud of helping Autistic children.  Yesterday, the man showed up and hauled Mama's car to the auction block. It will be sold Thursday.  My eyes misted up a little bit as her car left. We made a lot of memories in that car. I think Mama would approve of our decision. Sometimes we have to let go of a memory. Yesterday was such a day.

                             

Sunday, October 1, 2017

Just Because a Person Can do Something---Doesn't Mean They Should


  It is no secret our country is divided. The division is worse than I have seen since the sixties. The sixties were filled with hate, rage, guns,riots, stoning's, assassinations,  and entire communities set on fire. We had a war that divided our nation. Politicians were refusing to let our soldiers win; or pull them out before so many of them died.  Lies became the new normal.That was then, this is now.   Life as I know it now seems to be taking a huge step backwards.
  Right now the United States is in an uproar because some of the NFL players are taking a knee instead of standing and placing their hands over their hearts and honoring our flag. I do not agree with this act at all. I personally think it is disrespectful and has nothing to do with football.  As far as I am concerned they are there to play football and that is it.  BUT I am thankful I live in a country where you can be disrespectful and not shot, or jailed because they have a different view point. There are so many countries  where the people do not have the privilege to disagree with their government. Will I watch their games--no. Will I buy a jersey--no. But I want the option on board for others who do not think like I do to have the chance to see the games and wear the jerseys.
   I do not want to see one law passed that says everyone has to stand and salute the flag; or that the people of this country can no longer stand and salute our flag.  Standing to salute the flag  should be taught before the child ever goes to school.  It is in the NFL rule book already. So the NFL should take care of this problem.  We still have some common sense left where some decision belong to the individuals and their organization  and not the government regardless if I agree with them or not. And I do not agree with them! 
 The reason I feel this way, is because I believe there will come a time when the United States we semi know now, will become a country where the government will want to take over every facet of our lives. There will come a time when we will have a new Constitution that no longer makes any common sense.  It will not be written 'of the people and by the people'.  It will be a time when free speech will cost you your life. When protesting will be done at the expense of your life or a family member's life. When standing up for what you believe in or kneeling for what we believe in, will cost protesters our lives.
   It is slowly creeping in. I shake my head and feel a pain deep in my gut that America has seen her best days.
   I love my country, warts and all, but I hate to see people try to erase  our past. Two hundred year old statutes have been torn down by people who hate what the statue stood for. They are just memories of our past. They are not promoting any hate. The statues are a reminder when life was different and our ancestors fought and changed it.
   It is almost like finding an old scrapbook of your life. Looking at all the photos of yourself as a baby, your family, your great great grandparents, most of whom you never met. Yet their blood line still runs through your veins. To destroy that scrapbook would be a shame. Because once it is gone, all those memories and photos are gone too. Never to be replaced.
   Life goes by fast and it is very precious. I leave you with one thought that has always been a big part of my life.  "Just because you can do something does not mean you should."  Think farther than your hate, and fear. Use common sense when making decisions that will affect hundreds of people. Don't throw that brick, burn that store or shoot someone just because they are different. Think long and hard what the end result will be. There is always a day coming when the shoe will be on the other foot. Make decisions you can live with.
   

Wednesday, August 30, 2017

Remembering Dick Gregory...


  

  The first time I saw Dick Gregory, in person, was my freshman year in college. He was the guest speaker invited to entertain the students and faculty at Murray State University, a small college in western Kentucky.
   He was amazing. I watched him perform, probably on the Ed Sullivan Show, a few times. I knew he was a great entertainer.  What I didn't know was that  he was the first black comedian to appear on television. However,  there was so much more to the man than his ability to make people of any color laugh. With his first steps on the stage he owned the crowd. I don't think he received a standing ovation as he strolled on stage. Everyone applauded with gusto and anticipation. We were ready to be entertained. What we received was a lesson in humility and humanity and a good dose of humor. He made us stop and think while we laughed.
   Our high school had been integrated  in 1964, without a lot of problems. There were a few weeks of bomb threats and then it seemed integration fell into place. All students went to school. The rest of the United States was not a fortunate. And I may have seen only what I wanted to see. However, that is my memory of our schools integration.
   Dick Gregory told us of a different integration than we had experienced. We all watched the news and knew the trouble in the land. I did not see it up close and personal. He did. He lived it.
 He spoke of life as a second class citizen in his own country. He mocked bigotry and racism. 
     He also spoke on Vietnam. He talked about how fortunate we were to be in college when so many young men who could not afford college were fighting a war with no way to win. I was sitting in the midst of several young men and I have to admit, that statement made a few of them squirm in their seats. I also squirmed in my seat. I knew he was telling the truth. I also knew Tommy had enlisted in the Marine Corps. Vietnam was always on my mind.
    Dick Gregory told one story that stuck in my mind. He was married and had several children. He named his newest born daughter "Miss".  He said when people talked to her she would be referred to as 'Miss Gregory' without the usual slurs. He said he knew he could not stop it all but at least most of the time his daughter would be called, "Miss Gregory".  That statement brought tears to my eyes.  I always knew I wanted children and I wanted them respected as human beings.
   He told more funny stories and all too soon the show was over. He thanked us all for coming and he received a standing ovation from everyone in the audience. We stood and clapped until our hands hurt. Then it was over. Everyone went their own way back to dorms or houses. I can almost guarantee Dick Gregory walked home with each and every student in their minds. I know he walked home in my head.
   Dick Gregory died August 19, 2017. He was 84 years old. I have an old album of his I think I will try and find today. The record player is long gone but I would like to hold the record. There was one thing I did not know about him. He was a conspiracy theorist.  I smiled when I read this statement. I have been a conspiracy theorist since President Kennedy was killed. Most people think this is such a crazy way to think.  However, I will forever believe that the government we see and the one that is running our country and the world are two separate entities. We are just along for the ride and to keep these people funded.  Conspiracy theorists is as easy for me to believe in as knowing there is a God. I have no doubt about either.

Monday, August 21, 2017

Total Eclipse of the Sun 2017

  I have looked forward to the 2017 eclipse of the sun for about a week. When I woke up it was around 8:30 a.m. I put the coffee on first. Then I started to check the Weather Channel to see if our day was as warm and bright as had been forecasted.  For some reason, I decided to check my emails first. I was not alert enough to stop a jerk from using my confiscated debit card number.  He got me for almost $50. I called the bank immediately, when I realized what was going on, and made the transaction void. I had to make  a fast trip to town to get everything straightened out. I was also watching the time. I wanted to be home when the eclipse happened. I made it just as the beginning of the eclipse was visible from my home.
   I was anxious to see what would happen. The temperature on the way to Fulton was sultry and pushing the high 80's. It's not a very good day for naturally curly hair. When I returned home the eclipse was moving into our area. Tommy and I put on our solar glasses and started watching the eclipse. 
   While wearing the glasses, the sun appeared to be a vivid shade of orange with a slice, of what could easily have been a piece of pie, eaten by the moon.  A few minutes later we came back outside and by now two pieces of the pie was gone. I decided to stay out. The sun was changing fast and I didn't want to miss anything. Soon it was half a piece of pie missing, followed by another chunk of the sun. One slice of orange pie left and everything else was black.
   Things started to change as the last piece of the pie was eaten. The skies turned to dusk. My dusk to dawn light came on. The solar lights in my flower beds lit up. The temperature dropped about ten degrees. 
    
   


  This was taken when the sun was blocked and in a matter of minutes everything slowly returned to normal. The sun is shining and hot again.It was just was another Monday after all. . . with a little bit of magic thrown in.  My kind of day.

 
   

Saturday, August 19, 2017

Sabella Finally Gets a Much Needed Bath. . ..

  Someone dropped Sabella, our German Shepherd, at our home about ten years ago when she was about five months old. We had a yellow lab named Sandy and we were perfectly content with the way things were.


 However, after Sabella slowly made her way down our driveway Sandy instantly became a mother. She loved Sabella. I did not realize how lonesome Sandy must have been for a companion. Tommy and I worked nights and slept days so most of the time Sandy was alone. We kept her in the house until it was time for us to leave.
  Sandy and Sabella became inseparable. They ran and chased each other. Ate out of the same bowl, most of the time, which surprised me. Tommy and I grew to love Sabella especially after we saw all the happiness she gave Sandy. The only problem we had was both dogs shed. .  . a lot. It was a loosing battle. We tore up several vacuum cleaners in the process of trying to keep a clean house. Brushing the dogs was an everyday chore and it still wasn't good enough. We used dry shampoo and doggie perfume. We burned candles and kept two vacuums plugged in and ready.
     Today was a beautiful day and I decided to give Sabella a tub bath in a galvanized tub Barbara gave me last year. I let the water warm for two days in the sun. Gathered all my dirty towels that I was about to wash, the doggie shampoo and  a hassock for me to set on.I still have trouble getting up and down in low areas. 
     I called Sabella to me and then grabbed her collar and began to brush her coat. She is used to that so it didn't bother her.  She is a smart dog and she knew this was not going to be an ordinary cleaning. Next I put the shampoo on and then the warm water. Sabella looked at me like I had just defiled her in some way.  All the time I was bragging on how good she was doing. I scrubbed her all over. After that I rinsed her and did the same thing all over again. It is a good thing I had all our dirty towels outside in a basket because I needed every one.  Finally I let her go. She was about as dry as I could get without a hair dryer and I know better than to try that. She hates my hair dryer.   She was still on the damp side. I let go of her collar, gave her some smooches and told how proud I was of her.   
  Sabella looked me in the eye and proceeded  to run straight for a dirt pile!  She flipped on her back and rolled around like a little pig.  She stopped for a minute to make sure I was watching and then she smiled at me. !***!!  I took off my filthy clothes, gathered up all my dirty towels putting everything in the much needed washing machine. I am clean; as for Sabella--well she smells better than she did. In fact we both do. This is just the first of many more baths now that I have an idea of how it will go. That is if I ever catch her again.


   

Monday, July 31, 2017

Waiting Has Never Been My Strong Point. . .

  I have often said, "I have the patience of a dead rat!" Nothing in my life has changed to make this statement any less true. Unfortunately, I am forced to dig deep in the 'no patience pile of poop' and try to conduct myself with dignity and some semblance of sanity as we have waited for three months to find out what is wrong with Tommy. 
  It has been three months of one unexpected health ailment after the other. Followed by one procedure after the other. Several procedures have been repeated and if the doctors have an answer; they are not positive enough to tell us. 
  Tommy has had sepsis and was in the hospital over Memorial Day Weekend. Never did find out where or why he had this. Then within a few days after being discharged he had 3 mini strokes and one real stroke. He was admitted to another hospital in the middle of the night by ambulance. I don't remember how long we stayed there. He had to go through another round of CAT scans, MRI's and blood work up the wazoo. His arms looked like he had been beaten with a baseball bat at times.There have been other admissions, tests, scans, and heart appointments. He is tired, and is still suffering from the pain of shingles he had in 2016. We meet with a neurologists to see if there is anything that can be done about the pain in his neck and left arm. This pain gives him a fit every day, all day long. We see the neurologists on Wednesday. 
  Today we wait for a call that is supposed to tell us what condition his liver is in. They did find a spot of cancer on his liver. If the spot is confined to that one area, they can do surgery---maybe, or radiation and chemo. So today we wait. And we wait some more for a phone call that may or may not happen.
  I want to thank everyone for your love,and your prayers. I want to thank you for all the crazy, funny things that have allowed us to laugh in the midst of tears. My favorite story about laughing in the midst of heartache came from Tami. We were staying with Tommy at the hospital when he had the strokes. They had taken him down for another CAT scan and we were walking the halls, drinking coffee and crying at times. When we got to the end of the hall we sat down and Tami looked at me and said,"You know Mama, I wouldn't be surprised if Daddy didn't eat his twin while in the uterus and the little left over brat is trying to get out of his stomach!!" I have no clue where this came from but I nearly spit coffee halfway across the hallway. I started laughing right in the middle of a bad crying spell! So we did both--we laughed, we cried and then we laughed some more. Neither of us knew what day it was and were pitiful to look at however,  we laughed until we quit crying.
 I thank God every day for our girls, for our crazy family and all the blessings God has given us. Tommy and I are a team and we don't give up on each other---no matter what life throws at us.  Love to each of you my friends. Thank you so much for your thoughts, prayers, funny messages,cards and messages straight from your heart. I have friends and family all over the world that I will never meet but they have stood with us through this messy road in our lives. Thank you to all the family we know and love personally. We are indeed blessed with love.
   

Tuesday, June 6, 2017

A Busy Sunday . . .

  While Tommy and I wait for his biopsy reports, I find myself cleaning house more than I have in years. It is hard to sit still. My mind wanders in directions I don't want it to go.
 I miss my mother more than I have since she died. I long to hear her say "Tommy will be fine." For the first time in my life, it is hard to talk to my daughters. They are as worried as I am. I want to be strong for them. I am not doing that great of a job. We all want to know the results of the procedure done on May 31st. Small talk gets on my nerves. I only have one thing on my mind and I refuse to speak those words out loud.
  Yesterday Tami, Jake, Logan, and Jacy came out to visit and help us get a few things done. It was my first time to meet Jake. He is very nice and will probably never come back to the house. I put him to work almost as soon as he walked in the door. Tami and Jake assembled a futon for me. I thought it would be simple. It turned out to be a two-hour job with 40 million assorted screws.  Tommy and I would have never gotten this done. Tommy doesn't feel like doing it. He would need my help and I can't get down on the floor or sit low to the ground yet.

 I needed an extra bed in the living room slash den area. It looks nice and I am very thankful for Tami and Jake's help and visit.  The grandkids moved some mulch for us to different flower beds. Jacy drove our truck. I love her laugh when she drives. 
 I have reduced the number of bird feeders and flower beds this year. I do not want to take care of a lot of flowers or a big garden. I am putting the' Scarlette' to it and will worry about next year.
  One of the things that always happens when the kids come out is music. They are amazing. It is the best stress reducer for us.

                     


                       
   We had a good time. In fact, it was the best time we have had in several weeks. Laughter is a good medicine. After everyone left, Tommy and I walked out to the fire pit area. I needed to push mow around all the swings and 'stuff' I wanted in that area. It took probably 30 minutes. Check one more thing off our to-do list. Below are the den and the futon. Yesterday I moved the china cabinet. That is another blog dancing in the back of my mind; the china cabinet did not want to be moved. I won--sort of. 
                 
  






   

Tuesday, May 23, 2017

The Invasion of the Possum Snatchers...



   The end of April and a good portion of May found Missouri in a state of emergency. Round after round of torrential rains set in and did not let up for days at a time. Interstates and roads were closed due to water over the roads.   People and animals alike were stranded and had to be rescued. About this time, our garage became a second home for five uninvited possums. They did not arrive together. Instead they came one at a time for close to ten days. They were eating our dog food and making a nuisance of themselves. We purchased two live traps, loaded them with dog food and the wait began. The first night we caught a possum. We immediately took him off to a safer place, far away from our garage. Tommy was determined that I help with the possum catch and release program. I tried.


I have to admit they are one ugly animal, and they stink to high heaven. This little stinker was also heavy. We took him down to the Missouri River. I wanted to go there anyway and check out the river and roads. It was as bad as had been reported.

Upon arrival at the river we were surprised at how high the river was. It was completely out of its banks. The parking lot was covered by the muddy, rapidly expanding Missouri River. A steep boat ramp located on the other side of the trees was completely submerged.





Tommy found a dry spot and pulled over to let the possum go. It should have been a simple release. After the cage door was opened all the possum had to do was jump out of the cage and head for higher ground.

 Now I know why possum's seldom make it across the road at night. They cannot make common sense decisions. At night they see two headlights blazing down on them going 70 miles an hour and they think they have time to saunter across the road. They seldom make it. The same thought process happened with our 5th possum to release. Not one iota of common sense. He jumped out of the cage and into the raging water! Off he swam in the wrong direction. Hopefully he made it to the trees and climbed one for protection. If not he is probably floating down the river and should reach St. Charles by tomorrow.  We tried. The possums are gone for awhile. They have been replaced by a wild calico mama cat and 4 kittens.  To be continued when we figure out what to do with our new tribe.