The Saga of Tommy and his Broken Remote.......

                                                         
                                                           

Tommy is an avid television worshiper. I really do not know if it is the actual watching of the television he enjoys or simply the remote control  he is infatuated with.  He is the proverbial 'channel surfer'. He seldom watches anything from beginning to end. Mostly it is snippets of one show, then another and another. I hate it....absolutely hate it. However, I love my computer and I am almost always close to it writing or rewriting something. I am a reader. I can get lost in a good book and not surface for hours. Tommy hates that. 
We recognize our difference and accept the differences in our passions and personalities. The only problem has been the noise. I need quiet and the t.v. is 30 steps from my writing area. The first three rooms of our home are all open space, adjoining each other as you enter the different rooms. However, Tami solved this problem for me. For Christmas she gave me an MP3 player loaded with 'white noise, a soft rain storm and the ocean'. It repeates itself and I hear nothing but my thoughts and background noise.  It has made all the difference in how I feel. I can read or write any time I want without someone else's voice from the t.v. running through my mind. There is nothing more distracting than to be in the middle of writing and hear from the living room, 'Lizabeth choot!! chooot!!' Or to be writing a tense scene, where I am killing off someone and have a 'cannon' go off  in the living room. I have spilled more coffee on myself, thrown more pencils and yelled various obscenities in a knee jerk reaction to the noise from the t.v.

Yesterday was a good day at our house, until Tommy killed a spider with the remote control. After he smashed the spider, the remote locked up and refused to move. He hit every button on the remote that could possibly help reboot the system. Nada, nothing worked. I was in the kitchen, smiling to myself as I watched Tommy get more and more worked up. Finally he asked me to find the number for Dish network. I did. He called and the hour long fiasco began. 

The person who answered the phone was a lady in the Philippine's. They had a little communication problem. The t.v. was too loud and we couldn't turn it down. I bit my tongue to keep from saying, "See I told you it was too loud." However, as hard as it was, I kept my mouth shut. Good move Vicky, because this phone conversation went on for an hour. 

The lady gives Tommy instructions on how to fix the problem. Tommy had issues understanding her instructions. At times there was a stalemate while they tried to communicate. Tommy asked her, "Lady, I am right smack in the middle of Missouri!  You are in the Philippines is there someone closer who could help me?"  Evidently not.

They continue. He explains about killing the spider with the remote. The lady and I both say at the same time, "You shouldn't have done that". He became a tad bit agitated. However he remained nice to the lady overseas...I was on shaky ground with him by that point. So I make myself scarce. Wrong move on my part. He wanted me close to hold the phone while he runs and works on the t.v. The lady and I start chatting. She was lovely to talk to....hard to understand but very nice. She told me very apologetically that she "couldn't do anything with my husband." I told her not to worry, "I couldn't either." We both laughed. I bet she is married.

Finally Tommy in a last ditch effort that did not work, tells the lady our life story. I knew it was just a matter of time until this happened. I made some coffee and laughed while my back was turned. He is so cute. Aggravating as hell but cute. He proceeds to explain how he hates modern technology and reveals to the lady  the world is " going to Hell in a hand basket."  About this time he tells her, " He is glad she knows all this computer stuff  because it is people like her who will be pushing the buttons when the bombs go off!!" THAT remark probably placed his name on the CIA person of interest list. I am so glad. He is always telling me, "They are watching you Vicky! You can't be that vocal and not get in trouble." I laughed and told him, "Welcome to my world, baby you are on their list too." I thought it was funny. He didn't.

Finally, they decide that she can't fix his problem. She did tell him how to turn the t.v. and satellite on manually. A new remote is in the mail. He should get it in 5-10 days. Meanwhile, he changes the channels manually and out of habit holds the remote. 

God forbid, but if he dies first.....that remote is going with him:)