Getting Adjusted to Living Alone...

  Good morning world.Since Tommy's death and my surgery I have had a horrible time with my memory. Two and a half months later. I am better but the memory part isn't 100% yet...however it is improving and I can remember things now. After his death, I could not hold a single thought in my head for more than a few seconds. We were all getting worried. I asked the same questions over and over. I forgot the answer almost immediately. We were all worried that I might not get better. My doctor told me that I was in shock and my mind had held all the stress it could hold. It was shutting down for my brain's protection. I am 70% better. I still forget things at times but no where near as much as before. These past two months have had some scary days.
   The same week I moved into my rental home I purchased all new furniture. There were many special items I brought from home but for the most part, I wanted a place of my own. Tommy is everywhere in the new house, however, when you walk into my home you know it is mine. Our home we shared since 1978 was our home. When anyone walked into our home, you knew it was Tommy and Vicky's home. The only furniture I brought from home was my writing desk, recliner and the futon we purchased the last year before Tommy died. Many a night he slept in his recliner and I slept on the futon because it hurt him to lay down. The eagle picture was started by Tommy for a Christmas present for Melodi or Logan. He never finished it and never decided who he wanted to have it. 
  I purchased two new area rugs for the living room and my piece of home--the art room, as it has come to be called. 

  It is also the room where I spend most of my time. Either there or on the front porch. I love having a porch again. The walls are a tan/ brown color. My camera always adds too much yellow to the photos.

  
  I thought I would spend most of my time in the living room. It is exactly what I wanted and I love it. I find myself in the art room, especially at night. I have Netflix on my computer and I spend a good portion of my time in there watching "The Ranch",
with Sam Elliott and Debra Winger. Below is a photo of the living room. 

On the wall opposite the sofas above is the fireplace/bookcase and t.v. stand. I purchased this while Tami and Melodi were here and fifteen minutes later I did not remember buying it. In fact, I still do not remember, I am thrilled I liked it when it arrived. 

Yesterday a pair of Cardinals landed in my front yard. Tommy dropped by to let me know he was fine and he missed me. I hear him talk all the time in my head. It is comforting---he still cracks me up. I don't know if it is him or my imagination. However, I knew him so well, I knew what he would say at times. When you miss someone you loved, you take what you can get.