I have always wanted a room of my own. A place decorated to my taste, filled with things I love. My home reflects me everywhere but I also keep Tommy in mind when I decorate. I tone it down so he will be comfortable in our home. We buy what we both like. That is the way it should be. In a room of my own I would be surrounded by reds, yellows, burnt orange,greens and browns. The colors of Tuscany would be my shades of choice.
Years ago I read Virginia Woolf's book "A Room of Her Own". It is a book of essays written about life and all the complexities that go with life if you are a woman. One of her quotes that stuck in my mind is,"A woman must have money and a room of her own if she is to write fiction." I liked this quote before I ever put a pen to paper and began to write. If women are to have time for themselves, they have to take it, sometimes almost by force. I never had time for myself until I turned 60 and retired. I put my family first and I have no regrets about that. I would do it again in a heart beat and love the adventure all over again.
After retiring,my time was my own. Everything that had been placed on the back burner of my life now had full reign to step forward and be heard. I am glad to say it ripped, roared, ranted and cajoled me to the place I am now. I write, paint and enjoy life on my own terms. Tommy shares these feeling with me. Our motto concerning life now is "If not now...when?"
Seven weeks ago we began to build me a room of my own. We enclosed a patio that we no longer used. We thought the project would take a week to complete. We were so wrong. It took seven weeks, 3 fights and lots of laughs, oops and forgiveness to get this room done. I love it. It is everything I ever wanted and then some. It is me!!
The siding isn't on it yet. Tommy and Matthew are putting it on Monday. I am out of the building business...per Tommy's request and my answered prayer. We may tackle a bird house in the future...the very far away future.
Below are some pictures of our adventure from beginning to end.
All we had to do was fill in the patio using the roof, concrete floors and corner post that were already there. The north wall and sliding glass doors were already installed. However, the patio drops an inch every ten feet. It was not made to be enclosed. It is now!! But it fought us all the way until the last nail was in place. I was not much help to Tommy. In fact, I was in his way most of the time. However, like he says, "He couldn't have done it without me." That is debatable.
We also had to dig up the meanest, biggest rose bush in the world. We tried to save her but the lady stuck us every chance she got. So one hot afternoon when we had endured all of her pricks and thorns that we could take...we dug her up. Put her in a huge bucket and drug her out of our sight. I checked on her this morning. She is alive, well and growing in that darn bucket! Now I have to find a new home for her.
Week five it began to take shape and I knew the end was in sight. We still had to put the paneling on the walls and ceiling. We started with the ceiling. I really thought one of us might kill the other before this job was done. Here is where the bodies would have been buried:)
As luck would have it, we used the 'unused graves' to fill in the holes in our driveway:) It always helps to have a plan B.
After painting, I moved into my room. It is everything I love.
I am surrounded by light,flowers, music, and memories of people I loved but are no longer here. I have Grandma's curtains to cover my shelves. A look I have loved since I was a little girl. It is out of style but it is me for sure.
This is the south side and over looks the back yard and our woods.
I have several hummingbird feeders placed at my windows. They were the first things I put up. My art supplies are hidden for now behind the curtains. Soon they will be in plain sight along with a table resting behind the bench Mama gave me when she moved back to Kentucky. This will be a working room. Right now it smells like fresh paint but over the next few months it will smell like apple cinnamon. It will smell like home.
I really like this little nook. I took part of my door and turned it into a trellis, for some of my plants to climb. Hanging from the ceiling are supposed to be Chinese lanterns I bought in Florida. I can only find one right now. It is the red one and is battery operated. It gives a soft glow at night. I will find the other lantern's sometime when I am looking for something else.
Tommy and I built this table to hold my canvas. I also wanted a place to put my miniature palm trees. I have quotes from facebook on the back of the table.
I wrote a blog back in the early Spring about a house on the outskirts of Fulton that planted palm trees all around their house and how odd they looked in Missouri. It wasn't a month later, I saw these in the store and had to have them. They are ornamental and will stay in the house...but still I am always having to eat my words. I have said this many times 'my favorite food should be shoe leather.'
Here is the old rocking chair from FSH. I enjoy sitting in that old chair. The stories it could tell if it could talk.
I have sea shells from Florida and California and a rock from Alaska. A 175 year old tile from a roof in New Orleans. Driftwood from the Redwoods and the Pacific ocean. There are also lots of small lights in and among my treasures. I have bottles of sand and ocean water from every place we have been. Mamamae's presence is there too. Her vinegar bottle reflects the light on a shelf. Tommy's elk horns are finally on the wall. I intend to frame some of his hunting photos and place them on that wall.
This is the end of the photos and the beginning of a new phase in my life. I finally have a room of my own thanks to Tommy. I absolutely love it and him for all his hard work.
For me today was slow and easy compared to the whirl wind, mind blowing, head banging, hammer throwing days of the past six weeks. There was only one item on my 'to do list' that had to be done. I had to clean the floor so I can paint it tomorrow. Once it is dried, I will be ready to move in. I mopped the floor four times. The mission accomplished in less than two hours, leaving me delighted and free.
The rest of the day was slow and easy. It rained off and on all day, putting me in a mellow mood. Our area has missed most of the rain and storms that has played havoc with southern Missouri for weeks. We really did need a day of slow, easy rain.
I had moved all my junk out of the room we are building except for my rocking chair. This chair belonged to the State Hospital about 20 years ago. Every year the state has a sale and gets rid of some of their old furniture and bad ideas. The rocking chair was a mixture of both 'old furniture and bad ideas.'
These chairs used to line the buildings, sidewalks and outside porches where patients smoked, rocked and listened to their radios and the voices in there minds. Either enjoying a day of peace and solitude or waiting for the internal storm to surface causing havoc to be reaped on anyone in their immediate vicinity. Unfortunately, every so often a fight would break out and the rocking chairs became weapons or missiles. Eventually it was decided that the chairs had to go, they were too heavy and dangerous. Soon these chairs were replaced by other chairs much lighter in weight that also from time to time, became weapons or missiles.
One of our friends bought about 20 of those rocking chairs at the sale. Slowly, over the years he has given them away. He had one left and gave it to me a couple of weeks ago. I love it. It is painted red and has a home in the sun room.
Today I sat in that old rocking chair, watching it rain while listening to Kenny Chesney's new C.D. It was a perfect morning.
I had a cup of coffee within arm's reach. I sat rocking, looking and listening for about two hours. My mind was free falling most of that time. I mentally filled the room up with things I love. I thought of a new characters name for a story I have yet to write. I remembered friends and family, mentally recalling some very funny, good times. In my minds eye, I got a glimpse of what my future may hold. I liked what I saw.
Tommy promised me he would build me a room of my own and he did. I helped, but by and large he built it. He put a lot of love and effort into our adventure. It is everything I wanted and then some.
I probably do not count my blessings as often as I should. However,
when I look at Tommy I am always thankful that he is alive, healthy and with me. I tell him and God that every day...without fail.
Six months ago, he nearly died. Whatever happened to him was a fluke, an accident, or a mistake, the doctors still do not know the correct answer. He went from what was to be an overnight stay in the hospital to Intensive Care hooked up on life support in less than an hour. The procedure he had was a heart ablation. It was a long five hour operation, with little to no chance of anything going wrong. It was also a last ditch effort to get Tommy's heart back in normal sinus rhythm.
The operation went according to plan. The doctors had called me to tell me he was fine and I could see him in an hour. His primary physician, Dr. J. turned his back while he talked to his nurse. Out of nowhere...Tommy crashed. Suddenly, the normal organs that kept him alive quit working. His heart rate, blood pressure, breathing were all over the place. By the time they got him to ICU, he was on life support. His heart was working at 20%. Without machines, he would be dead.
Lisa and I were blindsided and numb. When we were finally allowed to see him, we didn't stay long. We were in the way. Machines were being added to his body, they strapped his hands down, inserted a tube down his throat because he was choking. They were inserting tubes everywhere as fast as they could. Never had my Marine been this close to death...or this fragile. Never had his wife been so scared. Over the course of the next few days, he took many dips and dives. Honestly, I did not think he would live. But someone did and he started to recover. Someone prayed and reached God's ear...or a lot of someone's prayed and touched God's ear. The doctor's could not believe the change in Tommy. They were prepared for the worst. When he started coming around it was almost hourly that a machine, a tube would be removed.
It is still a fog to me. The days all ran together. If someone held a gun to my head and said, "Tell me exactly what happened each day" I would be dead. I couldn't do it. Lisa and I slept in snatches of spent energy. I didn't have two working brain cells at the same time. I forgot to comb my hair. When I would go to the bathroom, I'd see myself and run a brush through the mess. I really didn't care. Neither did Lisa. We were with Tommy every minute that we could be. His caretakers were wonderful to Tommy and to us. They allowed us in there anytime and for as long as we wanted to stay. Once he started to recover some, we slept in ICU with him.
He had a two month recovery period where he was literally not supposed to do anything. It was winter and we could do that. Then the doctors told him, after a round of tests, tests, and more tests that he could do anything he felt like doing. What a relief.
Since then we have flown to Florida where he landed his first big shark, we are in the process of building a sun room and are almost done with it. That turned out to be more than we bargained for. It will be a lovely room and one we will enjoy. However, it was a big undertaking for the two of us. We will both be glad when it is done:)
I took 3 photos of Tommy when he was in intensive care. I wanted him to see what he went through. I had intended to post one and show how far he has come, but I can't. They are too personal, too raw. Even though I have them, I doubt if we ever look at them again. Some sights get burned into the psyche and never leave. Those 3 photos of Tommy have done that to me.
I wrote a blog back in the early Spring about a house on the outskirts of Fulton that planted palm trees all around their house and how odd they looked in Missouri. It wasn't a month later, I saw these in the store and had to have them. They are ornamental and will stay in the house...but still I am always having to eat my words. I have said this many times 'my favorite food should be shoe leather.'
