Every year Tommy and I vow that we will not wait until the week before Christmas to do our shopping. And every year we wake up a week or ten days before Christmas with a naked Christmas tree in our living room. A tree in dire need of presents underneath its fake branches, and a head throbbing realization that Santa isn't bringing squat if we don't go shopping.
It is always a surprise when we hear it is Dec. 12th. That means we only have twelve days until Christmas. It also means we need a list, sizes, ideas, a large cup of coffee and a plan of attack. It means we are out there in the trenches with all the other more organized Christmas shoppers who already have their bags full and look at us with pity. We have that 'deer in the headlights look' and the other shoppers know that we are late in joining the war.
The roads are packed with shoppers in a hurry for the 'blue light special'. The highway patrol are vigilant and everywhere as we are forced to drive along at a reasonable speed. I am riding 'shotgun' and very anxious to move a little faster because I know we are missing out on bargains. I ask Tommy to 'Hurry up'. Once again he goes deaf and obeys the speed limit.
Today is day three of our units plan to 'Conquer Christmas Shopping' ASAP! One of us is AWOL...still asleep. The other one, me, is about to make enough noise the raise the dead, in hopes of waking up Sgt. Carter. If all goes according to plan we should be in town by noon, the mission should be completed by 4 and home by 6 p.m. If we do not make it home by six, something has gone wrong. Please call in the reserves and make sure they are loaded with money. Over and out.
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