"There You Are..."

   Yesterday I watched a video clip about a mother with late stage Alzheimer's and her daughter.  They were both laying in the mother's hospital bed. For a few minutes the mother recognized her daughter. She tried to explain what it felt like to not be able to think of words and speak correctly. The mother did not understand why she didn't know her own daughter at times.  I watched the video clip several times. I knew exactly how the daughter felt.

   The same thing happened to my mother and me several times.  I would not trade those moments of recognition for anything.  The first time she recognized me was about 6 a.m. one morning.  I would usually arrive at the hospital before Mama woke up.  I liked sit on the side of her bed and watch her sleep.  It seemed to me that Mama could think or remember better early in the mornings. It wasn't always the case.  However, with the horrible Alzheimer's disease, a person takes whatever they can get from their loved one.

   One morning  Mama woke up, looked at me saying, "there you are." I hugged and kissed her and for a minute she remembered me. She was holding on to me as tight as she could and kissing my check.  It was wonderful and then as though a light had been turned off,  Mama laid back in bed and looked at me for a long time. Her smile became smaller and her eyes searched  my face...trying to figure out who the woman was sitting on her bed and why she was crying.  I don't even know if she realized I was crying. Her eyes questioned my face.  I think she was trying to remember what had just happened.  I have no way of knowing if this was true or not.  I picked up her 'baby' doll and gave it to her. She was delighted to see "her baby".  The doll received my kisses and my love.  That was fine with me. I saw her through new eyes.  I believe I had the privilege of watching how Mama loved me when I was a baby. Like I wrote earlier, with Alzheimer's patients...you take what you can get each and every day, cherishing the times they remember.