January 4,1971 Lisa's Birth-----The Making of a Mama

On January 4, 1971 at 7:59 a.m. on a Monday morning in Yuma, Arizona; Lisa Jaye Carter was born.  My life forever changed that day. 

Tommy was in the Marine Corps and we had been transferred from NAS Atlanta, Georgia to Yuma, Arizona.  Actually, we had a choice of 2 duty stations, New York or Yuma.  We picked Yuma because neither of us had ever lived in the desert or lived only a few miles from another country. It sounded exciting to us.

We were 11 or 14 miles from Mexico and we went there often.  No passports were needed to cross the border.  Just a little money and a full tank of gas was all that was necessary.  Even then, we made sure someone in Yuma knew where we were going or another couple went with us. Just to be on the safe side.


It was a cold Sunday night in the desert when I went into labor. My mother was visiting us for Christmas and to be there when the baby was born.  Everyone was nervous and easily rattled that night.  The tension was almost tangible.

I remember Bonanza was playing on t.v. when I told Tommy I thought we should go to the hospital. He wanted to wait until Bonanza was over.  That was like throwing gasoline on a hot fire!!!  Tommy was outnumbered by a mother hen and her very pregnant chick.

In hindsight, we could have stayed home another 10 hours.  As soon as we arrived at the hospital, I was placed in an examination room. My doctor asked me if I cared if he went to his neighbor's belated New Years Eve party.  He assured me that the baby would not be born until the next morning and he would be there for the birth.  So the doctor went to his party.  His nurse  told me that she would be in the next room and not to bother her.  She grabbed her novel and left. There I sat, by myself, scared and very uncomfortable. I wanted Tommy. I knew for certain that I was not staying in that room alone all night. I grabbed a hospital gown and put it on like a robe and out I went to find my family. 

As I was about to leave, I heard a young woman crying in the next room.  I peeked in on her.  She was a beautiful young Mexican girl about my age and just as scared. I tried to talk to her but neither of us spoke the right language. I held her hand and pointed to the door.  I guess she thought I was leaving because she refused to go with me.  That decision is one that I would redo if I could. I would have stayed longer with her. She needed someone to hold her hand that night.


When I finally found Tommy and Mama, they wanted to know what all the doctor said----another explosion occurred when they found out the doctor went to a party and the nurse was reading!! 

Around this time the contractions kicked in good and hard and Tommy and I started walking the halls. When a really hard contraction would occur I remember putting my face on the cold concrete walls. It felt good to me.  Tommy was holding my hand and he whispered in my ear, " I think your mother is pissed at me!!  Don't let her see you grab the wall!!"  I think she was pissed at him too!!  We decided then and there that from then on when I had a baby, it would just be the two of us there. And it was.

The young girl and I delivered babies within a few minutes of each other. Her family was there to be with her. She had a little boy. 

Lisa and her son looked so much alike. Beautiful babies.  Dark complexion, black hair, beautiful.

Tommy's life changed that night too. He grew up even more. He felt the responsibility of being a husband and a father.  He wasn't perfect, but he was just what I needed. Someone who had faith in me that I could be a good mother and wife.  He also had a great sense of humor and didn't get upset or rattled when I was human and made mistakes.  We had so much to learn. I had never changed a diaper or fed a baby.  Thank God Tommy was from a large family and grew up around babies.  He was always my right arm, what I didn't know he did.


However something happened when I held my daughter, the things I didn't know didn't matter any more.  Instinctively, I knew how to take care of Lisa. It was gut instinct and love.  I must admit that the first diaper I put on Lisa fell off the minute I picked her up.  Instead of being scared we thought it was funny. I put another one on and miracles of miracles--it stayed on!!

The only baby book we had at the time was written by Dr. Spock and I didn't care for his ideas. To me babies are supposed to be rocked and loved and maybe spoiled just a little bit.  Hopefully, you are only that vulnerable once in your life, enjoy it.


Every day I learned something new either about cooking or babies, husbands or budgets.  Some days I learned about all of them.  I wouldn't trade anything for those memories.  That is why I write now, to share with my children, grandchildren and their children's children our story. To tell it to friends and family so that their story---our story will not be forgotten.


When Tommy and I made children, we made magic.

                                    
This was made the day Mamamae and Mama left Yuma.  Mamamae surprised me and was waiting the day I got home from the hospital. Some memories I never want to forget. I know it was very hard on them to go back home and leave us on our own.  I will believe to my dying day, it is the best thing that could have happened to us.

I will always wish they could have seen more of Lisa, I also know I had to learn how to stand on my own two feet and be a mother--Carter style.