It was October 31, 1969. Tommy and I had been dating since the beginning of summer. We broke up in high school and did not speak to each other for two years. When we finally did reconnect, we knew we were supposed to be together. I think he asked me to marry him during his third trip home. We had an understanding but had not set the date.
He was in the Marine Corps and I was going to college. He was stationed at NAS Atlanta which was attached to Dobbins Air Force Base. To get from there to Clinton, Ky. took at least 8 hours. He made the trip every weekend that he could. We talked to each other almost every night and of course we wrote letters that I still reread from time to time. Those letters are priceless to me. It is funny and touching to see the world through 20 year old eyes again. As the old saying goes, "We didn't know, what we didn't know".
..and that was probably a good thing.
Tommy picked me up around 5 p.m. We were going to Kathy and Jim McClure's apartment. She was my best friend. They had gotten married in September, I think.
Tommy, who is never at a loss for words, was quiet that evening. I knew he and my mother had talked on Friday before I got home. Mama was doing a lot of smiling and Daddy was as grumpy as always where Tommy was concerned.
We went shopping and bought a music album for Kathy and Jim. That was our first and last disagreement of the night. He wanted to buy a country album and I wanted to get a rock album. He won, since he was paying, however I was sure Kathy wouldn't like it. I was right. She didn't but James did.
On our way to Kathy's, Tommy pulled over and reached in the backseat and bought out a ring box. I was shocked. I thought he was giving me his class ring. When he opened the box there were my wedding rings. He slipped it on my finger and just like that we were engaged. I remember he apologized to me because the proposal didn't go like he wanted. He wanted a nice romantic setting and I wanted to go see Kathy. She knew about the ring so Tommy had to give me the ring before we went to their house. That was why he was so quiet. He couldn't get the timing right and he wanted it to be perfect. I thought it was perfect.
After we left Kathy and James' place, we decided to get a mixed drink to celebrate our engagement. Both of us got 'screwdrivers', made a crazy toast and we rode around for awhile. We threw the bottles and 1 cap away. The other cap rolled under the seat. Daddy found it the next morning.
Engaged, 20 years old and soon to be married, I suddenly found myself 'grounded'. I couldn't believe it!!! I could not take my car on dates anymore. We made do, Tommy has a big family and I think we borrowed a car from just about everyone.
Daddy never did warm up to Tommy. Never liked him at all. That's alright I loved Tommy enough for ten people. We did get the car back the week we got married and Daddy signed the title over to Tommy since he was 21. We drove that car to Georgia on Dec.26, 1969 after we were married. We drove it in July 1970 to Yuma, Arizona and everywhere we wanted for the next four years.
We tease each other a lot. Friendship is the glue that has held us together when things got rough. We often tease about whether it was a 'trick or treat' Halloween in 1969...treat always wins:)
Every year, for the past 20 years, the month of October is a battlefield at my home. The enemy are thousands and thousands of little dastardly bugs shown on the left. I call them Japanese Beetles because I really don't know what kind of bugs they are. Usually they arrive after a cold spell. When the cold spell ends and the day becomes warm, they have a party at my house. They arrive suddenly and swarm the house, the windows any place that is warm or open. They make themselves at home. As soon as we open the door, they attach themselves to our clothing, our hair, and any body part not covered. When one bug makes it in, he or she calls for reinforcements and the war is on!!
For the next few weeks we will literally fight these bugs. We spray the outside of the house and it works until it rains...it rained last night and is still raining. I hope they drown, but I know they won't.
They arrived over the past two days. In fact they are late this year. I bragged to Tommy that I thought we had finally killed them all. Only to open the door and get smacked in the face by these stinking bugs. They really do stink. They give off a scent that smells like dirt. Nasty, nasty dirt!!! Twenty killed can make a room stink. I would know that smell anywhere.
Yesterday was our first major battle. They engulfed my sun room. To say I was mad is an understatement of the first caliber!! I was frantic. The only spray I had left was 'flea spray' and that worked. They dropped from the ceiling, crawled into the windows before I could get them all shut. They also landed in my hair giving me the creepy crawlies. Two showers finally rid my mind of the varmints. Today I literally vacuumed the bugs out of the window sills and everywhere else I could reach. I cleaned on my room for 2 hours. Right now it is beetle free...until it stops raining and warms up. I have had candles lit all day to rid the room of the 'dirty' smell. When I go in there I can still smell it.
This fight will go on for another week. Since they arrived so late I am hoping the cold weather will freeze them out. Now all it has to do is turn COLD! I am all for that.
In my corner of the world, things could be so much worse. I should be happy that life is good and the beetles are a minor inconvenience. I should feel that way and for the most part I do but I have to admit I hate those little S**** and I hope they all die...tonight!!
Not all seasons are created equal in Missouri. We never know what to expect from Mother Nature, one year to the next, in this middle of nowhere state.
Winters can be knee deep in snow for months at a time, or mild with only a little snow scattered here and there.
Spring can arrive early and stay late. It can rain all season giving farmers nightmares trying to plant their crops; or winter can linger through Spring and suddenly jump to a mild start of Summer omitting most of Spring all together. Turkey's seldom know when to mate. They just take their best shot and hope for the best.
Summers in Missouri are always humid. The kind of humid that greets your skin at 7 a.m. and licks it furiously all day. People wait for sunset and hope for a slight wind to erase a miserable day. On occasion, the Summer of 93, it started raining one night in early June and did not stop for months. We also have had summers where the heat and drought were so horrible, people had to sell most of their animals because they could not produce enough food for them that early in the year. The fields were burning up as they tried to grow. Farming is a gamble in Missouri.
The Fall of 2012 was exceptionally beautiful. The colors were vivid, bold and beautiful. The oranges, the reds, and the gold vied for they eye's attention as the leaves began to change. The most amateur of photographer's captured amazing photos. The trees begged to be photographed daily.
As far as I was concerned, the tree at the right was the most beautiful autumn tree in Callaway County last year. This year not so much. If it peaked it must have done it the week I was in California. It looks nothing like the photo this year.
The fall of 2013 has slipped in, quietly. The trees were slow to change colors. The boldest, by far, have been the oak trees. Their million shades of yellow have lit up the somber forests. Last week, red maple trees seemed to burst out for a few days. There are multitudes of green trees, slowly turning brown.
The soft maple tree in my front yard is loosing her leaves. There is a tinge of yellow to the tree but it is predominately going from green to brown instead of showing off as she usually does in her dress of yellow ochre.
Tomorrow we are going to ride the back roads again. There are a few creeks I want to check out and see how the colors are reflecting in the water. I am still in search of the prettiest tree in Callaway County. So far, nothing I have seen has beaten the beauty of the Fall of 2012. I am still searching and it is still October. Missouri may pull it off yet, however this year I have my doubts.
The woman walking into the laundromat had stooped shoulders and a slow gait. Her hair was graying, hanging around her face in a haphazard, listless way. There was no cut or style to the hair rather a resigned feeling that today it got brushed and that was enough to ask for one day. She walked slowly looking at the floor. Her eyes never left the few feet of carpet in front of her. Walking with a cane in her right hand, it appeared to help keep her balance. In her left hand, she carried her laundry in a black garbage bag. The clothes she wore were dated and frayed. She did not carry a purse. Trailing four feet behind her was a little boy roughly nine years old. They did not appear to be together.
It took two washers for her laundry, one for whites and the other dark clothes. She dug a coin purse out of her jacket pocket, purchasing two small boxes of detergent. Finally she settled at the table behind me to wait for the machines to clean her clothes. The little boy had gone to check out the soda machines. Eventually he found his way back to the lady. He wanted money for a Diet Coke. She paused a long time before she answered. Then in a lovely, educated voice she began to talk to her grandson. Her voice did not align with her presence. They were worlds apart. Something had happened to the woman to change the course of her life.
"You know I live on very limited means. Everything I spend has to account something. If I buy a soda then I have to give up something else." The little boy nodded that he understood. She looked him in the eye as she talked and gave him the $1.25 he needed. Her eyes warmed as he smiled. She went on to say, "I wish things were different. I wish I could buy you whatever you want but I can't. I just can not." He nodded in agreement.
The little boy took the money and marched up to the soda machine. He put his money in, accidentally pushing the wrong button. Out came an orange soda. He looked at the soda a long time before he picked it up. He hated orange sodas. Tears were in his eyes as he walked back to his grandmother. He gave her the soda. She told him that she didn't want the soda, he could have it. Then he told her what he had done. Again she was quiet as she weighed the pros and cons of another $1.25 spent on nothing. She said, "I will go help you get your soda." While she was there she bought another Diet Coke. This made $3.75 they had spent on something frivolous, on something she could no afford.
As they sat waiting for the washer to finish, the grandmother began to talk about money. She asked him if he remembered last week when she was at his house and she only had two candy bars and there were three children at the house? He said he remembered that Joey cried because he didn't have his own candy bar. She nodded in agreement saying, "I didn't handle that correctly. I shouldn't have given two candy bars to three children." He interrupted her to say, "That was ok, we shared." The grandmother complemented him on his insight and behavior, however she was afraid that Joey would have a bad memory of her because he did not have his own candy bar. Children are like that. They sat in silence for awhile.
She lovingly watched her grandson as he drank his soda. Finally, they decided the other two sodas would be given to his little brothers. Hesitantly, she asked him if he was hungry. He was. Again she began to figure her money. She decided they would go home and she would fix him some lunch. She couldn't afford to eat out and spend the extra gas to drive across town. She wished she could but she couldn't. Every cent she had left needed to last her until the first of the month and today was the twenty second. That left nine days.
Slowly, she folded her dry clothes and replaced them in the garbage bag. The weight of the world seemed to be on her shoulders as they walked out the door. She was doing the best she could, inside she ached for more.
Tami and Aaron moved to Maine when Jacy was 3 and Logan had just turned 1. To say we missed them is an understatement. When our vacation time rolled around, Maine was our destination.
We drove the first year and flew the second year. Everyone met us at the airport. It was quite a home coming. In the year since we had seen them, the kids had changed quite a bit. Logan was talking, Jacy had long hair and some where in the mix Logan had forgotten me. I was in for a surprise where he was concerned. After exchanging hugs and kisses we return to their van. I try to help Logan get into his car seat when he proceeds to tell me to F*** Off! When he said that, I jumped right straight up and hit my head hard on the ceiling of the van. I couldn't believe my ears. I look at Tami and she was ready to burst out laughing or throttle someone. She says, " he learned that at preschool." I laugh and try to get in the van. Logan wants no part of me. He likes everyone else but the verdict is not in on Nonnie. I am having second thoughts about him too:)
Jacy rides in the back seat with us. She is talking a mile a minute about a little purple tutu that she "really, really, really" wants. I told her I bet we could get that tutu the next time we go to the store. She is delighted. It is a long ride back to their apartment. Jacy plays with my hands and rings. She gives us kisses and a hundred "I love you's." Logan dozed off to sleep. Tommy and I are enjoying the moment. One of the first things we did the following day was make a trip to the store and buy that purple tutu. It was money well spent. She wore it almost the entire time we were there.
Logan picked out a dinosaur...a big dinosaur. As we rummage through the store making our way to the check out lane, he throws it out of the cart. I pick it up and give it back to him with a quick kiss on top of his head. He opens his mouth to say "F*** You and I whisper " you had better not say that little boy". We eyeball each other and he doesn't say it. Big sigh of relief on my part, wicked grin from Logan:)
After arriving home from the store, Jacy modeled her new outfit. When she looked at herself in the mirror she felt beautiful and she was. She twirled, took bows and anointed us with her purple wand. We bought bows for her hair and played dress up most of the day. Eventually, everyone was tired except Jacy. We decided to take a nap and let the jet lag move on out from our bodies. Jacy wasn't sleepy so I laid on the couch while she played. I dozed off and on, catching glimpses of her as she created her own ballet. She was oblivious of me as she danced. She would jump through the air and fall down, get back up and do it all over again. She twirled and leaped, smiling and giggling as she created her masterpiece. Occasionally, she would give me a light kiss on the cheek as I pretended to sleep.
It was a delightful afternoon, a memory maker for me. So much faster than I expected, this little ballet star will soon be 12 years old on October 30th. A swimsuit has replaced the purple tutu in her interest. She is growing up to be an amazing young lady. Jacy reminds me of my mother. Mama was a worrier and a caregiver by nature...so is Jacy. She has an amazing sense of humor. Each time I see her, something new has been added to her personality. Now she is learning to cook. Last week Tami had a 24 hour bug and Jacy took care of her mom. Jacy has become my favorite book to read. I imagine her in all sorts of scenarios, however sooner or later my mind always goes back to the purple tutu and the pink princess dress.
There is something special about each stage in a child's life. Soon Jacy will be 12, how did that happen? Time goes by fast, soon all we are left with are memories and photographs. That is the way it is supposed to be. The process is called 'growing up' and letting go. It is also why it is important to make memories that can be conjured up on a rainy afternoon when the one we are remembering is far from home.
As for Logan, he is all boy, full of energy, constantly in motion. He never walks into a room. He slides, runs, flips or slips quietly in to scare me. He is the most loveable little boy I know and I treasure him. We are so much alike, at times it is scary. After that year, he fell in love with me and decided I was a keeper. Thank goodness for that. He has my heart and always will.
Tommy and I are taking Jacy shopping on the 27th for her birthday. Buying for her now is hard. She is developing her own style, which is cool. I can't wait to see what she buys. I am assuming we are going to shop for clothes but she may have other plans. Her birthday is Oct. 30th. She was born on Melodi's birthday.
Speaking of Melodi, she will be 34 on that day. It doesn't seem that long ago we were celebrating her 12th birthday, however it has been 22 years...now that is a sobering fact that just smacked me in the face!! Melodi recently married and is living in California. She is extremely happy. I think I will take the rest of the afternoon off and have some 'Melodi time' for myself. We have made a lot of memories over the years...it is a good day to remember them.
Enjoy your birthdays ladies...there are lots of memories to be made in these next few weeks. Much love to you both.
,
I think this sign best describes the wonderful people I met while visiting Red Bluff, California. I was there to attend my youngest daughter, Melodi 's wedding. From the time I stepped off the plane, I was welcomed, accepted and felt completely at home by Melodi's friends and future family. I quickly learned to love and enjoy being with everyone. We laughed as we worked together preparing for the outdoor wedding on Saturday. Friendships were formed while we hung lights, painted signs, and created flower arrangements.
The wedding was held at Cheryl and Lynn's ranch, a spot of heaven on earth. We were completely surrounded by mountains in the distance. A constant and at times gusty wind blew for four days. There had been a snow storm to hit the mountains earlier in the week. Mt. Shasta received several feet of fresh snow. The day I arrived, the wind on Mt. Shasta was blowing so hard from the west it literally blew snow off the eastern side of the mountain with a continuous horizontal gale force.
When I finally went to bed on Friday night the wind was still blowing. For the wedding to be perfect and peaceful the wind had to cease. First thing Saturday morning I looked outside to see a beautiful quiet day. We were all thankful the weather cooperated. The morning was cool, warming up during the day and then around seven it cooled down again...
just as the dancing began.
At 4 p.m. the wedding began. Friends and family came from all sections of the country to join in the celebration. Lisa, my oldest daughter flew in from Florida on the 3rd. Danielle, Melodi's matron of honor flew in from Virginia. Several of us flew in from Missouri, others from Oregon, Arizona and all over California.
Ralph Gomez married Lacey and Melodi. As I walked Melodi down the isle, we held hands. I was touched by the music and by how beautiful the young people in the bridal party were.
The little flower girls wore cowboy boots and carried rose petals in cowboy hats. One little girl, about 3 or 4 decided to throw one rose petal and keep the rest in the hat. She was adorable. Lisle, Lisa's husband, made a carved wooden ring holder for the ring bearer to carry. It was a nice touch for the rustic setting.
All eyes were on Lacey and her father as they made their way to the front. Lacey is a naturally beautiful person, and her father is so charming and funny. Charisma runs in the family.
To the left is Jamie, mother of Lacey and beside her is Melodi. Jamie looks young enough to be Lacey's sister:)
Jamie and Dan opened their home to Lisa and me.We spent most of our nights there. We are all extended family as far as I am concerned.
The rest of the photos are a mixture of the night.
On Oct.5, 2013, Jamie and I each welcomed another daughter to our family. It was a beautiful wedding..
Lisa and I with Lacey and Melodi
I especially like this photo
Tug of War with the new couple!
Scenes from the Bachelorette party. They love the super heroes...enter Superman and Batman!!!
Good food and drinks flowed that night,and every night we were there. The Gorman's know how to have fun!! And all of us did just that.
The flower girls with the little girl who carried the rings.
My first day at the ranch. We were getting
our game plan going:)
This is the "Blanket Ceremony" where their Native American aunt bless the couple. Doni Jo recited the marriage blessing and the mother's repeated it after her. This was new to me and a very nice representation of their heritage. The blessing sealed the marriage.
Vacationing in Hawaii...
May your lives be filled with an
abundance of love, happiness,and
adventures.
I have several blogs to write about Melodi and Lacey's wedding, however I am waiting for the photos to get processed. I should get them tomorrow. What I intend to write about today is my return flight.
I love airports. They are a mixture of colors, languages, hugs, kisses, laughter and tears. The aromas of all the different food courts assaults the nose and tugs at the tummy. Everyone is in a hurry. Most people are halfway lost, working extremely hard on not being totally lost. Each person crammed into this small inner city has a story. Most people will gladly share their story, if they have a listening ear. That's were I come in. I have an amazing listening ear and a wicked sense of humor. Airports and airplanes are right down my alley. Yesterday was no exception.
I also learned a valuable lesson yesterday...24 hours before I board a plane I will now confirm my flight and check in on line. I thought because I bought my ticket 4 months ago, I was a shoe-in. I had my seat. It should have been that way, however that is not how it works. I get to the Sacramento airport in plenty of time. I am checking in, life is good except for a smidge of a hangover that four cups of coffee and two Tylenol will eventually cure.
While I was getting my boarding pass, the computer only gave me one ticket. I ask about this and a lady does a little magic on her computer and tells me, "Run, don't walk!! Do not stop for coffee or go shopping!!! Go straight to your gate 19. Then go talk to the man at the desk and he will give your second boarding pass." After going through security, I arrive at my gate. A nice man gives me a second ticket and tells me not to leave the area. The plane is over booked and there will be people bumped from this plane. My headache just increased by 100%. Of course I want to know why?? Apparently since I had not checked in 24 hours in advance...I was a no show. The computer decided that I might not show up and sold my seat!!! Now this is where it made no sense to me. If I bought my ticket 4 months ago, why would I not show up for my trip?? If I had died someone would have let them know I am sure...otherwise I am going on the trip.
I made my flight. Several people didn't. They were not happy at all but I was delighted and dragged my C class rear on board and searched for a seat. We were told that all our choices were middle seats. However I got a window seat because a man in my row needed to be near the bathroom. We were landing in Los Angeles in a couple of hours and the race would start all over again.
We got off the plane, I found my gate in time to hear them say "We are seven people over booked. Would you like to take a later flight?"
"Aaahh No, I want this flight that I paid for four months ago!!!" and I take my seat... crossing my fingers and watching the people in my gate area fill up seats and see lots of young men standing.
Soon it announced they are over booked by seven. The standing young men looked tired, ticked and rather unpleasant.
Once again the "C" group was told "middle seats only." As we were boarding they called a young man's name and he had to leave. Then they offered anyone willing to wait a $300 credit to use on another flight. A young girl took them up on this. By this time I have walked about 4 rows into the plane and see only center row seats. I decided to take the first one I came to. There were two men setting there. The little guy sitting by the window was an odd little duck. He had his tongue stuck out and said, "You don't want to sit here!!! I chew with my mouth open, I snore, I have gas and I have been told I am crazy". I looked him square in the eye and said "I do too" and I am sitting here.!" I was out of people skills and crazy sounded fine to me...I am used to that! He put his head phones on and began to sing. I took a xanax and tried to get comfortable. He did a few odd things during the trip but nothing that was alarming. He didn't lick the windows but he was right about everything else.
After we landed, Tommy was there to greet me and my window flying partner came up and told Tommy, "We took really good care of your wife." Tommy looks at me kind of funny so I whispered, "I will tell you about it later...it's a blog story in the making." Tommy gives me a kiss says "Oh My God, what now??? and welcome home"
