A Lady of Dubious Means...

The woman walking into the laundromat had stooped shoulders and a slow gait. Her hair was graying, hanging around her face in a haphazard, listless way. There was no cut or style to the hair rather a resigned feeling that today it got brushed and that was enough to ask for one day. She walked slowly looking at the floor. Her eyes never left the few feet of carpet in front of her.   Walking with a cane in her right hand,  it appeared to help keep her balance. In her left hand,  she carried her laundry in a  black garbage bag. The clothes she wore were dated and frayed. She did not carry a purse. Trailing four feet behind her was a little boy roughly nine years old. They did not appear to be together.

It took two washers for her laundry, one for whites and the other dark clothes. She dug a coin purse out of her jacket pocket, purchasing two small boxes of detergent. Finally she settled at the table behind me to wait for the machines to clean her clothes. The little boy had gone to check out the soda machines.  Eventually he found his way back to the lady. He wanted money for a Diet Coke.  She paused a long time before she answered. Then in a lovely, educated voice she began to talk to her grandson. Her voice did not align with her presence. They were worlds apart.  Something had happened to the woman to change the course of her life.

"You know I live on very limited means. Everything I spend has to account something. If I buy a soda then I have to give up something else." The little boy nodded that he understood. She looked him in the eye as she talked and gave him the $1.25 he needed. Her eyes warmed as he smiled. She went on to say, "I wish things were different. I wish I could buy you whatever you want but I can't. I just can not." He nodded in agreement.

The little boy took the money and marched up to the soda machine. He put his money in, accidentally pushing the wrong button. Out came an orange soda. He looked at the soda a long time before he picked it up. He hated orange sodas. Tears were in his eyes as he walked back to his grandmother. He gave her the soda. She told him that she didn't want the soda, he could have it. Then he told her what he had done. Again she was quiet as she weighed the pros and cons of another $1.25 spent on nothing. She said,  "I will go help you get your soda."  While she was there she bought another Diet Coke. This made $3.75 they had spent on something frivolous, on something she could no afford.

As they sat waiting for the washer to finish, the grandmother began to talk about money. She asked him if he remembered last week when she was at his house and she only had two candy bars and there were three children at the house? He said he remembered that Joey cried because he didn't have his own candy bar. She nodded in agreement saying, "I didn't handle that correctly. I shouldn't have given two candy bars to three children." He interrupted her to say, "That was ok,  we shared." The grandmother complemented him on his insight and behavior, however she was afraid that Joey would have a bad memory of her because he did not have his own candy bar.  Children are like that.  They sat in silence for awhile.

She lovingly watched her grandson as he drank his soda.  Finally, they decided the other two sodas would be given to his little brothers. Hesitantly, she asked him if he was hungry. He was. Again she began to figure her money. She decided they would go home and she would fix him some lunch. She couldn't afford to eat out and spend the extra gas to drive across town. She wished she could but she couldn't.  Every cent she had left needed to last her until the first of the month and today was the twenty second.  That left nine days.

 Slowly, she folded her dry clothes and replaced them in the garbage bag. The weight of the world seemed to be on her shoulders as they walked out the door. She was doing the best she could, inside she ached for more.