This is one of my favorite pictures of Mama and Daddy. They were young and so in love. Mama was 16 and Daddy was 19 when they eloped. They were married in Charleston, Missouri. After spending the night in a Charleston hotel, the next morning at breakfast a young man, who waited on them, brought Mama a flower and gave it to her. He told her the "flower was almost as pretty as she was." Daddy got mad and nearly punched the young man. I loved hearing that story. Years later when Mama told the story, Daddy still got mad...priceless.
I cannot imagine being married at the age of 16. Daddy was helping his father, Papa John, farm so they moved in with Mama Pearl and Papa John as newlyweds. I also cannot imagine living with family on your honeymoon. It was customary to do this years ago. I don't care how 'customary' it was...I still say it could not have been easy...and it wasn't.
Mama had never lived in the country. Once she got there she wasn't all that crazy about it. They did not have electricity and still used an outhouse. She couldn't wait to go to town for the weekend. That meant they stayed with Mamamae and Granddaddy. Privacy was still scarce but they could go to the movies and visit friends. Mama quit high school when they got married. She needed to reconnect with her friends and be 16 for a little while longer.
After the attack on Pearl Harbor, Daddy enlisted in the Army. They had been married a little over a year. In the above photo, Daddy was in on leave before being sent overseas.
When Daddy finally left for the service Mama moved back to Clinton, living with Mamamae and Granddaddy. She worked at the Dime Store for Mr. Peggy Young (I think).
Mamamae and Granddaddy's home was located beside the Post Office. When Mama received a letter from Daddy, Mr. Ben Hales would bring the letter to her as soon as it came in.
Mama saved her allotment check and the money she made working. When Daddy came home from the service, four years later, she had enough money for them to buy all new furniture, rugs and everything they needed to start housekeeping. Daddy began farming for Ray Spicer. Mr. Spicer had a home on the farm and Mama and Daddy moved into it. Mama still didn't like living in the country but she was happy they weren't living with anyone else.
Mama and Daddy's anniversary falls on Thanksgiving this year. They have both been gone for awhile. Remembering this part of their story always makes me feel good.
There is a lot to be said for young love.
Every couple has a story to tell. Mama and Daddy's story took many twists and turns. Not everything that happened to them was good or fun or necessary. It never is with any couple's story.
Below is another favorite photo of Mama and Daddy. They are old and have reached the final chapters of their story. Mama has Alzheimers and Daddy is there for her 100%...that is all anyone can ask for in this life.
For the past month, I have dreaded the approaching of November 24.
I had an appointment for a sleep study test and I did not want to have the test done. I needed it, just did not want it. The idea of someone watching me sleep is a little on the weird side...and she did watch me sleep. There was a working camera in the corner of the room. I also asked her about it. She was very nice and told me the tape would be erased in the morning. Hmmmm... Having to wear 'wired post its' all over my body is really on the weird, uncomfortable side. When I thought it couldn't get any more crazy the lady put a pulse ox on my finger and taped it down so I couldn't get rid of it and two tubes in my nose...smiles, tells me to relax and go to sleep. She walks out and shuts the door. Really???? Really!
There I sat on the side of the bed, vaguely resembling Frankenstein's bride after the lightening strike. I honestly thought I would still be sitting on the side of the bed at 5 a.m. when the test ended. Luck was on my side, and I was allowed to take some of my sleep medication. It kicked in about an hour later and I did drop off to sleep. I had to sleep on my back. Since I am a side sleeper that made me uncomfortable. I tried to flip over and side sleep but I had too many wires to contend with. In the process I yanked one of my
earrings out. It was found in the wires this morning.
The technician woke me up at 5 and told me I could go home. She told me I could shower to get the glue out of my hair. I tried but this was gonna take some time and a lot of effort. I wanted coffee and to go home...glue and all. So I dressed and left.
I will omit most of this story. In reality it could go on for another two pages. As usual nothing went according to plan. I will leave out the part where the sleep study lab had been relocated and no one told me. I ended up at the on call doctor's sleep quarters. The doctor was shocked to see me...I was glad to see her. I am glad I left my pillow in the car when I knocked on her door.
I told her I was there for the 'sleep study program' she looked confused. That was when I knew I was in the wrong place. The doctor found the Sleep Center for me (she Googled it)...the hospital operator thought it was still in her quarters too.
I will leave out the part where the technician was scared of the dark and would not let anyone in the building until exactly 8:30. I will also leave out the part where the other sleep disorder person was a young man from Columbia. We each had our own room but shared a bathroom. He woke me up around 4 making all sorts of chocking noises. Both of us then needed to go to the bathroom at the same time and neither one of us could because we were all tied up. He won...I waited.
My test results will be mailed to me. As usual, I slept better there than at home. I am one of those people who usually gets well in the waiting room. When I see the doctor she tells me what I had. Time will tell on this adventure too.
I find it very hard to believe that fifty years have passed since President Kennedy was assassinated. Writing those words feels almost like a lie. Time goes by so fast. It doesn't seem possible it has been that long...but it has. In reality, for me, it was another lifetime ago.
I remember parts of that day vividly. They will forever be etched in my mind. The First Lady's pink suit. Watching her crawl out onto the back of the convertible trying to retrieve part of her husbands head. The doctor when he reported President Kennedy was dead. Watching Vice President Johnson being sworn into office as Jackie Kennedy stood close by...wondering what was going through all of their minds. Watching the news as Lee Harvey Oswald was arrested, then two days later actually watching the t.v. as Oswald was assassinated. It was a very hard time for our nation.
Something changed in our country that day. Something changed in my 14 year old mind as well. The images I saw on t.v and the articles I read in the paper did not make sense to me. I never once believed Oswald acted alone. It was the birth of my life long belief in certain conspiracy theories. When I shared these beliefs with my parents I was in so much trouble. Daddy informed me that he would tell me "what to believe and I would believe it." He was furious with me for questioning the facts, so I shut up and kept my theories to myself. I never once changed my mind.
President Kennedy was a hero of mine. He and his family brought youth and vitality to the White House. The Kennedy's were the reason I listened to the news. I have always wanted to believe when President Kennedy spoke these words, "Ask not what your country can do for you ...ask what you can do for your country" he was talking to the best in all of us. Perhaps those words need to be revisited once again. Love of country should replace love of money and loyalty to a certain party. Our country should not be for sale to any lobbyist's agenda.
Fifty years...hard to believe. If you were young when President Kennedy was assassinated, you are now old. The world we live in is very different from the world of 1963. For me "idealism" began to die that day in November in the city of Dallas, Texas and realism took root.
I am a left handed, right brained person in a right handed, left brain world...and there is not one thing I can do about it except try and adjust and fit in somewhere.
Most things in my world, as a child, were geared toward the right handed people. Desks at school were for using the right hand. My left arm hung in space as I tried to make my paper stay on the desk top. Wire rimmed notebooks were all made for right handed people. I had to adjust to the wire always being in my way when I wrote. Scissors never fit my hand...so I used my right hand. My cutting was never neat and pretty but it worked. Now things are geared for everyone. I bought a left handed refrigerator. At the time I purchased it, I didn't pay any attention to that fact. I picked out what was natural for me. When it was delivered, Tommy wanted to know why the refrigerator was 'goofed up'. That was the first time I noticed the door handle.
I was very fortunate growing up. My grandparents and mother accepted my preference for being left handed and seldom tried to change my hand of choice. The one exception was eating. Everyone was determined that I use my right hand when eating. Since it was my job to set the table, I set it with everything on the left side. That made sense to me. After the blessing was said, Mamamae, Granddaddy and Mama would readjust their table setting so it was compatible with their right handed style. Finally I made the adjustment and began to use my right hand to eat. Most of the time I still do this. It was easier on everyone if I fit in with them.
When I was a little girl I never cared if my shoes were on the wrong feet or if I was wearing my dress backwards. I had fairies to find, crooks to catch, pictures to paint and stories to read. My day was full. The grown up version of me is still that way.
Like everyone else there are things that come easy and natural to me. I tend to be artistic, creative and a dreamer, a clown, a priest, and a poet. I am a writer of fact and fiction, blending the two until they are one. Need help with a problem concerning your emotional heart...ask me. I may not be able to fix your problem but I have all the empathy you need to recover and perfect shoulders to cry on. These are all traits of the right brain thinker.
The oddities in life snag my attention. Corporate America never once held any infatuation with me. Tommy used to tease me about the fact that if the fate of the industrialized world had been in my hands we would still be living in caves. That may be true but they would be the prettiest caves on the planet. We would all have flower and vegetable gardens, lakes to fish in and backyards for playing. Not one bomb would have been invented.
As for things I can not do, I have accepted the fact that I will never understand algebra or speak the computer language. This comes easy for left brain thinkers. I argue with the facts. Most of the time they make absolutely no sense to me. My poor algebra teacher Mrs. Haynes tried her best to make me see in black and white. I tried, I really did but I do not have an analytical mind. I need color preferably lots of reds and yellows.
It always seemed to me algebra was wrong. Why would anyone create a problem like 2x=___y. Really??? What was the x and y?? And why on earth would anyone want 2 of them?? If you found the answer to the equation...then what would you do with it?? There has to be an easier way to do this. Poor Mrs. Haynes hated to see me raise my hand in class. She knew we were all in trouble that day because my reason and logic did not apply to algebra. She was right. Once Mrs. Haynes began explaining a 'problem' to me, my eyes glazed over and I became 'hearing impaired'.
Computers are another mystery to me. I know what I need to know to navigate around the Internet and write a blog. If I hit a wrong button I am in a world of hurt. It happens more often than I care to admit. Copy and paste does not compute in my head. I seldom 'drag' anything and have it end up where it should be.
I have made peace with the fact that I will never crochet, write a computer program or make a speech in another language . Nor will I build anything that requires the use of algebra. I know all the math I need and I use it every week. I am content to write stories and look for new adventures in my corner of the world. I admire the left brain people. What would we do without them?? They created the world I live in. Hmmmm, and there is where we might have another slight problem:)
I love the photo of Tami at the left with dandelions stuck in her helmet while she is getting ready to fire her M-16... cracks me up. That is so very much Tami's personality.
I should not have been surprised that one of our daughters would want to join the military...but I was. Our girls were raised in a very pro military family, I did not see an enlistment in anyone's future.
As a family, we love our country. I seldom hear the song "America, America" that I don't tear up. A flag will forever fly in our front yard. We are proud of our men and women in the armed forces. What would we do without their service? When Tommy and I married he had already been in the Marines for two years. He always says I served the last two years with him. We had a great time together. I would do it all again without hesitation.
However, when Tami came home one day and said she wanted to join the National Guard, that was another story all together. First thing I thought of was, "No, you can get shot or killed! It's not safe! You will be gone a long time. I will miss you. Don't go." I kept those thoughts to myself, for a little while, as Tami talked about all the advantages of enlisting.
Finally, she said," Mama what should I do?" It was by far the hardest question anyone has ever asked me. I found it difficult to give an honest answer. Millions of answers came to mind. "Do it, make those memories!!! One day when you are old, you will look back on your life and tell your children, " I can take apart and reassemble an M-16 in record time. I served my country proudly." She would visit places around the world that I will never see. Always it came back to 'she could get killed'.
Finally, I told her this was one decision she had to make on her own. We talked about the advantages of signing up and we talked about the unknown things that could go wrong. We told her we would support her either way. We talked about 'commitment' and about the length of time she would have to serve. An eight year commitment is a long time for a 19 or 20 year old to have to plan a life around. She was in love. How would that affect their future? A whole lot of unknowns from a mother's perspective.
She enlisted making us very proud and very nervous. I remember a call from boot camp one night, I was sure her instructor would kill her when she got off the phone. I heard the instructor yell at Tami to " Hang that damn phone up, Your time is through!!" Tami yelled back at him, "I just got on the phone my time isn't up!!" I could just see those beautiful brown eyes snap at the man as she yelled. Then silence as he slammed the phone down. I started crying and Tommy started laughing. He said, " I told her they would try and break that Carter temper!" She was in trouble and there was nothing I could do.
That was a long night for me as I wondered what on earth was happening to her in boot camp!!
I think this photo was taken when she went to South Dakota. She also was sent to Panama and to Honduras. That makes me very proud.
Their outfit did a humanitarian rotation in Honduras to help rebuild after a hurricane went through the region causing a tremendous amount of damage. Tami's unit provided military police security for the engineers as they rebuilt roads and bridges. She called one day and I heard gunshots in the background. I asked her what was going on and she said, "There is often sporadic. shooting in the mountains. It's the rebels" Hmmmm, That girl knew how to make me pray!!
I think this photo was taken in Honduras. She also took a photo of her bunk below...a little different from her apartment back home. Honduras changed Tami's outlook on life, at that time. She saw abject poverty. When she came home she gave away most of what she had. She had seen people live with little or nothing. She realized that as blessed as we are, we really do have more than we need. She still gives freely to people in need.
My daughter Tami is one of my heroes. Tommy and I used to say, "Tell Tami no and watch her go." She still is very much wired that way. She is strong, confident and seldom afraid. Life for her is an adventure to be lived out loud. Happy Veteran's Day Darlin'...you made us proud.
Love you,
Mama
It is common knowledge that the President of the United States and I see the world completely different. I seldom, if ever, agree with him on anything. I can say the same thing about most politicians in office now. Washington D.C. needs to be purged, hosed down and disinfected. However, this is only my opinion and we all know how much weight this fact carries...one vote to be exact.
Obamacare is front and center in the news and on most people's mind. Insurance, or lack of insurance, effects us all eventually. Tommy and I both have our own insurance and we are satisfied with what we have.
While I was in California we received a letter from Pres. Obama's team explaining his program and how it affected us. I didn't find out about this until I had been home a week. Tommy and I were watching the news and the news media kept talking about 'letters' that had been sent to the public. I wondered if our letter had been lost in the mail. Tommy said, "No we received a letter while you were gone. I threw it in the trash!" Lightening flashed, the heavens thundered and out poured....
Me "You threw it in the trash????"
Him "Yes, as far as I was concerned it didn't pertain to us."
Me "So what exactly did it say?"
Him "Same old mumbo jumbo government crap."
Me "Is our insurance changing?"
Him "I doubt it."
Me "But you don't know for sure???"
Him "It is nothing to worry about."
Me " Tommy, I think this is one of those letters we should have read."
Him "Well go ahead and worry if it will make you feel better."
Me Hmmmmm... forty million answers ran through my mind.
None of them were nice!
I needed to come up with a game plan before Dec.31...
As for the letter, it is at the bottom of a landfill with thousands of pounds of filth, garbage and junk on top of it. Rest in peace...tomorrow I will find out what that little piece of paper really stated. Truthfully, I hope it was trash. However, 'something' tells me Tommy may be wrong this time.
