When Carol Shea died in early December, I lost a best friend and a sister; neither can be replaced. Although Carol is no longer alive in the physical body, she is very much with me almost daily. It sounds a little on the 'crazy' side but it is true. The same thing happened when Mama died; her presence was so strong in my home... at times it still is.The day I wrote about Carol's death, I was crying and hoping if Carol could read her story, she would approve. She had died the day before and I was very heart broken, sorry and just a little mad that she did not tell me how sick she really was this past year. I was sitting at the computer rereading what I had written. Tommy was at Ben's. I was alone when I felt a hand touch my left shoulder. I jumped because I knew I was alone and I also knew what I felt. A feeling of assurance came over me. I knew it was Carol and I knew the blog pleased her. Although there is no rational explanation for what happened...happen it did.
Carol has visited my house, finding all the things she wanted me to have and use. For two years Carol was worried about my well water. She wanted me to use a Pur water pitcher for our drinking water. One day when we were shopping, she found the water pitcher she thought I needed and put it in my cart. I took it home and some how it fell behind the kitchen table and I never did use it. The third day after her death, I was cleaning off the table and found the Pur pitcher still in the box. She said in an almost audible voice, "Now will you get it out of the box and use it?" Yes mam! I did and I am still using it. Carol is pleased. I could almost hear her say, "About damn time".
I also found mysteriously two pot holders with cookie mix in them Carol bought for my birthday last year. They match my kitchen and I will make the cookies soon...another nod from Carol.
About three weeks ago, a photo of Carol, Punky and me turned up on my scrapbook table. I haven't scrap booked in four years. I should have put it somewhere safe...and I probably did but this morning I can't find it. If I do not find it today, I will probably wake up in the morning with it stuck to my forehead! I can see Carol doing this and laughing.
The other night Tommy and I watched a movie Carol tried to make us watch for two years. It was a remake of the "Walking Dead" or some crazy show like that. She loved horror stories...me not so much. I hated it and hopefully Carol will not want to watch it again, once was enough for me. If she does want to watch it, I hope she goes to Punky's house.
Needless to say, I miss my friend. Since I was a little girl, I have always had one special friend I was closer to than my other friends; as an adult, Carol was that friend. We shared a warped sense of humor. We used to say we would always be the best of friends because we knew too much about each other to ever stop being friends. We knew where all the bodies were buried and the stories that went with them. I hope some day I am blessed with another 'best friend'. Carol Shea was one in a million, she will never be replaced. However, I have a big heart and room for another one of a kind friend.
This isn't the missing photo but I like this one of us. It was made about five or six years ago before Carol and Punky got sick. We were celebrating Christmas at my house.
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