Some days it just doesn't pay to get out of bed!!! My agenda for the day was shot before 7 a.m. I always get up and make coffee and head for my computer to see what all happened while I was sleeping. Today was no exception. I intended to check out a few blogs, talk to some friends and then write a blog. Not this blog, however.
It is common knowledge that my computer and I have a tentative--love, hate relationship. I have to run scans on her several times a day just to keep her up and running. This morning I had 201 "things" that needed to be fixed. It was shut off all night---makes me wonder what she does while I sleep. I think I have a "party girl" for a computer. One of those ladies who never say "NO"!!! Apparently last night was a "good night" for her!!! Heifer!!!!
After two attempts at getting her up and running and a pot of coffee, Tommy gets up. He had intended to turkey hunt today, but the weather is just this side of lousy, so he decided to stay home and turkey hunt out the front window!!! It is not unusual for us to have deer and turkey in our yard. And to be truthful, he has been known to take advantage of this. However, today it is not the turkeys that have his attention but our resident woodpecker. This bird has been with us for several years and it soo wants to be a hummingbird!!! It really needs either a "transbird operation" or some long intense therapy. It will fly to the window feeder. Hit it at 40 miles an hour, swing from side to side, hang on to the feeder for dear life. All the while trying to drink from a yellow plastic flower that he cannot reach!!! This goes on off and on all day long. Today Tommy finds this funny and insists that I watch. It was funny but I have seen it for 3 years so if I miss one episode, I can always catch the next one.
I decided to feed the dogs while it is just misting rain and I let Sandy and Sabella in to dry out for a while. Sabella, the German Shepherd, will eat anything. She looked a little glassy eyed and I knew she wasn't feeling all that great, plus,she slinks when she is sick. I put her blanket down and she preceded to throw up not once but twice on my carpet. I swear there were possum teeth in that mess!!!! She is worse than a goat---there is nothing that dog won't eat!!!! I throw open the back door and shoo the dogs out. So much for compassion.
The phone won't quit ringing. Tommy and I hate to talk on the phone. He just doesn't want to get up to answer it and I want to look the person in the eye I am talking to. We try and wait each other out and just let the answering machine get it. Sometimes we cave and answer it. Tommy got it today, and I venture to say we will not be invited to another "on line town hall meeting"!!!
It is already 11 a.m. and I have completely lost control of the day. I thought about this for awhile. Things are only upsetting in my mind----except for the possum teeth-- no matter how you look at it--possum teeth in puke on your carpet IS upsetting!!. But I had cleaned it up. ..now was time to let it go. I am healthy, I'm happy and I have probably had too much caffeine. I am writing, which was what I wanted to do originally. When I consider all the real troubles going on in the world, I have it pretty good. I have it better than "pretty good".I have a blessed life. The things that happened today were aggravating----but mostly they are aggravating in my mind. That was my problem.
In my original blog, I wanted to write an open letter to my future great grandchildren. I wanted to tell them about how things are in my world. I wanted them to know Tommy and me as people, a couple and as partners. I wanted to tell them about a country that I am afraid will not be there for them. A way of life that is laid back and easy going. I hope their futures will be prosperous, adventurous and exciting. But just in case, I will keep writing them and try to give them a glimpse of who we are and what we were.
.
Wednesday, April 27, 2011
Friday, April 22, 2011
Why I Write
When I was growing up I wanted to become an artist, a writer, a detective and then as I went away to college I added social worker.
Life magazine ran a series of articles about a young teenage girl who was pregnant. It followed her the whole nine months. If memory serves me right, her parents sent her to an unwed mother's home. It was there that she had to make the decision about whether to give up her baby or keep him. It was an agonizing time for her. Even though she had professional help, and the occasional visit from family, she and her baby were on their own.
She grew to love her child. She was only 16 or 17 and was afraid she couldn't take care of him properly. She cried a lot -- and I cried with her.
The employees at the home where she stayed encourage her to give up her baby for adoption. Pushed is more like it. Her family totally agreed. There was no one to step in and give her any encouragement that maybe, just maybe she could keep her child and still make a good life.
I still remember one quote from her,she is talking to her baby, rubbing her stomach and trying to decided what is best for both of them. She said, "Right now it is you and me against the world, but one day soon when you are born--it will be you and me against each other."
I cried so hard when I read those words, because I knew she had made up her mind to give her child up for adoption and it was breaking her heart.
In hindsight it probably was the right decision, however to a young girl reading the article, and who knew this could easily happen to her, it was a horrible slap in the face. I decided after following that article for months, I wanted to be a social worker. The young woman did give up her baby. The article ended and I don't know how their lives turned out. Hopefully, they had good lives and found happiness.
This was during the 60's and at that time it was socially unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock. I was outraged that people, family, could so easily turn their backs on their children, just to save face in their community.
In communities that were riddled with sins of all kinds and with some of worst kept secrets. However, most of these secrets were known and were just ignored depending on who you were and how much money your family had. That is just how the South was in those days.
I went to college that fall, and I majored in Art and Sociology. I soon found out that art would always be a hobby and not a profession. I also realized that if I became a social worker, with my personality, I would never have a life or a family of my own, which I wanted. I am an all or nothing kind of person.
My career would have been my life. A life of trying to fix other peoples problems. I switched majors to psychology. The mentally ill fascinated me. It is hard enough living in a world as a moderately sane person, but to have to live as a mentally ill person---and survive is impressive and dangerous.
I quit college to get married halfway through my junior year. I have never once regretted it. I have had the privilege to do a little of all my dreams in one form or another. My last employer of 20 years gave me all the mental illness, killers, rapist,and perverts I could handle.
I had a wonderful family,that I adore and love beyond measure. When Tommy and I made our daughters--we made magic.
I have been allowed to do all the things I wanted to do--just on a different path than I had planed. A much better path than I ever imagined.
And now I write. It has almost become a new urgency in my life. My mother died of Alzheimer's disease almost 2 years ago. Since then I have been compelled to write.
Life is over so fast and most people take their stories to the grave with them. And soon after, the generation that knew them dies, their stories die too.
I don't want that to happen in our family. I want my great-great-great grandchildren to know our family....crazy as it is.
I want them to know the adventures we had. The good times and the bad. Maybe it will help them see themselves in us and answer a few questions for them. I hope, as they read these stories, they will wish they had known us as real people.
I hope they will be proud of the blood that runs through their veins, and will long to dig deeper into their history and our past.
I know where I get my extreme love of coffee. I had a crazy Aunt Sadie,literally crazy. Each time she had to be committed to Hopkinsville Mental Hospital, she packed her suitcase with cans of Folgers coffee---which they promptly took away from her!!
Knowing about Aunt Sadie--well, let's just say it explains a lot. I also wish I had been nicer to her. Mental illness was not talked about then. After working with the mentally ill for 20 years, I can now understand Aunt Sadie. Too bad it didn't happen while she was alive.
Life magazine ran a series of articles about a young teenage girl who was pregnant. It followed her the whole nine months. If memory serves me right, her parents sent her to an unwed mother's home. It was there that she had to make the decision about whether to give up her baby or keep him. It was an agonizing time for her. Even though she had professional help, and the occasional visit from family, she and her baby were on their own.
She grew to love her child. She was only 16 or 17 and was afraid she couldn't take care of him properly. She cried a lot -- and I cried with her.
The employees at the home where she stayed encourage her to give up her baby for adoption. Pushed is more like it. Her family totally agreed. There was no one to step in and give her any encouragement that maybe, just maybe she could keep her child and still make a good life.
I still remember one quote from her,she is talking to her baby, rubbing her stomach and trying to decided what is best for both of them. She said, "Right now it is you and me against the world, but one day soon when you are born--it will be you and me against each other."
I cried so hard when I read those words, because I knew she had made up her mind to give her child up for adoption and it was breaking her heart.
In hindsight it probably was the right decision, however to a young girl reading the article, and who knew this could easily happen to her, it was a horrible slap in the face. I decided after following that article for months, I wanted to be a social worker. The young woman did give up her baby. The article ended and I don't know how their lives turned out. Hopefully, they had good lives and found happiness.
This was during the 60's and at that time it was socially unacceptable to have a child out of wedlock. I was outraged that people, family, could so easily turn their backs on their children, just to save face in their community.
In communities that were riddled with sins of all kinds and with some of worst kept secrets. However, most of these secrets were known and were just ignored depending on who you were and how much money your family had. That is just how the South was in those days.
I went to college that fall, and I majored in Art and Sociology. I soon found out that art would always be a hobby and not a profession. I also realized that if I became a social worker, with my personality, I would never have a life or a family of my own, which I wanted. I am an all or nothing kind of person.
My career would have been my life. A life of trying to fix other peoples problems. I switched majors to psychology. The mentally ill fascinated me. It is hard enough living in a world as a moderately sane person, but to have to live as a mentally ill person---and survive is impressive and dangerous.
I quit college to get married halfway through my junior year. I have never once regretted it. I have had the privilege to do a little of all my dreams in one form or another. My last employer of 20 years gave me all the mental illness, killers, rapist,and perverts I could handle.
I had a wonderful family,that I adore and love beyond measure. When Tommy and I made our daughters--we made magic.
I have been allowed to do all the things I wanted to do--just on a different path than I had planed. A much better path than I ever imagined.
And now I write. It has almost become a new urgency in my life. My mother died of Alzheimer's disease almost 2 years ago. Since then I have been compelled to write.
Life is over so fast and most people take their stories to the grave with them. And soon after, the generation that knew them dies, their stories die too.
I don't want that to happen in our family. I want my great-great-great grandchildren to know our family....crazy as it is.
I want them to know the adventures we had. The good times and the bad. Maybe it will help them see themselves in us and answer a few questions for them. I hope, as they read these stories, they will wish they had known us as real people.
I hope they will be proud of the blood that runs through their veins, and will long to dig deeper into their history and our past.
I know where I get my extreme love of coffee. I had a crazy Aunt Sadie,literally crazy. Each time she had to be committed to Hopkinsville Mental Hospital, she packed her suitcase with cans of Folgers coffee---which they promptly took away from her!!
Knowing about Aunt Sadie--well, let's just say it explains a lot. I also wish I had been nicer to her. Mental illness was not talked about then. After working with the mentally ill for 20 years, I can now understand Aunt Sadie. Too bad it didn't happen while she was alive.
Tuesday, April 19, 2011
Did I Ever Tell You About Billy?
This story has been told to me all my life---by every family member, so I know it must be true. I really can't remember Billy. I was about 3 or 4 Mama said.as she told me the story. As she recalled I woke up one morning and Billy was there.
I was an only child so I always talked to myself, to my dolls and to Billly. Somewhere along the way, Billy became real to me and a pain in the wazoo for my family, I am sure. Billy was always hungry. I was a picky eater and so I tried to feed him all the things I didn't want to eat. That didn't work!!
I asked Mama what it was like to have an invisible person around. She said it was rather nerve racking and at times intense.
Apparently, there had to be a place set at the table for "Billy" to eat....and when he said the blessing---no one but me knew when he was through!!! I think Billy liked to preach, especially if Mamamae had cooked something I didn't want to eat.
Mama said when we were going through doors, I would say "Stop, don't shut the door on Billy". Sometimes I waited for him to open the door for us--that was futile and Granddaddy made sure that didn't happen too often. Personally, I am glad the door didn't open. If it had, this would have been a whole different story.
Billy also had his favorite chair, unfortunately it belonged to Granddaddy and Granddaddy was not going to share. Billy had to sit in the floor. I drug in my dolls rocking chair so he had a place to sit. Everyone was happy, including Billy.
If I forgot something, I would assure everyone that "Billy" would bring it home. We did a lot of backtracking---just in case "Billy" forgot--much to my opposition, because to me "Billy" never forgot anything.
Billy stayed for about a year. Mama said one day he was "just gone", just like he showed up. I never mentioned him again. I asked her if she thought I was crazy at the time. I remember her saying "Lord no, we thought you were gonna die" Hmmmmm that explains a lot, I suppose.
When I think about this, I have to wonder what I would have done if one of my daughters had an "imaginary friend". Would I have taken them to counseling, to our minister. Or would I have thought it was cute and just a phase. Glad I didn't have to find out. Our house was full with 3 kids, 2 dogs, always a cat or two, goldfish, hamsters so if one of them had an imaginary friend, I probably would not have known it!
I have to applaud my family, when I was a little girl. They gave me unconditional love. I have seen people "committed for 96 hours" for less than a little girl's " imaginary friend."
To be truthful., I have always wondered about "Billy"---where he came from and why he left. I guess I out grew him. But when it is either very late at night or extremely early in the morning, and I am writing, I often wonder if he is the muse on my shoulder. One never knows where inspiration comes form, that is the beauty and fun of writing.
I was an only child so I always talked to myself, to my dolls and to Billly. Somewhere along the way, Billy became real to me and a pain in the wazoo for my family, I am sure. Billy was always hungry. I was a picky eater and so I tried to feed him all the things I didn't want to eat. That didn't work!!
I asked Mama what it was like to have an invisible person around. She said it was rather nerve racking and at times intense.
Apparently, there had to be a place set at the table for "Billy" to eat....and when he said the blessing---no one but me knew when he was through!!! I think Billy liked to preach, especially if Mamamae had cooked something I didn't want to eat.
Mama said when we were going through doors, I would say "Stop, don't shut the door on Billy". Sometimes I waited for him to open the door for us--that was futile and Granddaddy made sure that didn't happen too often. Personally, I am glad the door didn't open. If it had, this would have been a whole different story.
Billy also had his favorite chair, unfortunately it belonged to Granddaddy and Granddaddy was not going to share. Billy had to sit in the floor. I drug in my dolls rocking chair so he had a place to sit. Everyone was happy, including Billy.
If I forgot something, I would assure everyone that "Billy" would bring it home. We did a lot of backtracking---just in case "Billy" forgot--much to my opposition, because to me "Billy" never forgot anything.
Billy stayed for about a year. Mama said one day he was "just gone", just like he showed up. I never mentioned him again. I asked her if she thought I was crazy at the time. I remember her saying "Lord no, we thought you were gonna die" Hmmmmm that explains a lot, I suppose.
When I think about this, I have to wonder what I would have done if one of my daughters had an "imaginary friend". Would I have taken them to counseling, to our minister. Or would I have thought it was cute and just a phase. Glad I didn't have to find out. Our house was full with 3 kids, 2 dogs, always a cat or two, goldfish, hamsters so if one of them had an imaginary friend, I probably would not have known it!
I have to applaud my family, when I was a little girl. They gave me unconditional love. I have seen people "committed for 96 hours" for less than a little girl's " imaginary friend."
To be truthful., I have always wondered about "Billy"---where he came from and why he left. I guess I out grew him. But when it is either very late at night or extremely early in the morning, and I am writing, I often wonder if he is the muse on my shoulder. One never knows where inspiration comes form, that is the beauty and fun of writing.
Monday, April 18, 2011
It is Turkey Season Once Again
This is my husband's favorite time of the year... turkey season. He enjoys it more than Christmas or his birthday. Our world comes to a complete halt every year for three weeks in April. My home is covered in camouflage: blaze orange vests, turkey decoys, turkey calls, boots of every type, guns and gun shellls. Other turkey hunters are here off and on for the duration of the hunt. Taking pictures of the guys and their birds is my priority. I also have a photo album filled with pictures and good memories covering 30 years of hunts. Tommy's friends are my friends. In fact, I consider them my band of brothers. There is always a fresh pot of coffee to be enjoyed, tall tales ramble around the room mixed with a lot of b.s. to be shared equally with mud. Laughter, jokes and endless teasing flows like chocolate melting on an ice cream cone; messy but very enjoyable. We laugh a lot and often.
Tommy shot his turkey this morning about 9 a.m. It weighed 22 pounds had 1 inch spurs and an 8 1/2 inch beard. He has two more weeks to hunt and get another bird. So the house remains a combat zone for awhile. And that is ok with me. We lead laid back lives since we have retired. Our home is not a show case, it is lived in and homey. We are here some days 24-7; we have learned to be flexible and enjoy the mess.
Today was a good day. I only hope Tommy doesn't start hinting for me to turkey hunt....so he can go again--and again and again. I am no hunter. Tommy wants me to hunt with him so much, but I guarantee if I had been along today---he would not have gotten his bird. We have tried this before and it never works.
The first time Tommy took me turkey hunting was a perfect morning. We had already scouted the area. We knew there were turkeys in the woods. I had practiced shooting and I was dead on. I enjoy shooting guns. I have a Mossberg 20 gauge and she is sweet... except for the time she nearly broke my arm!!! I practiced standing up to shoot. Bang!!! I was in the red circle. We did this quite a few times. Then Tommy decides that I need to sit down and try to shoot. Well, I am feeling a little invincible and cocky right about now and I put the gun up to shoot and didn't anchor it like I did when I was standing. I fired the gun and screamed!! I was sure I had broken my arm !!!! I sounded like I had broken my arm. Throwing the gun across the yard, I started rolling around on the ground, cussing and crying like a little girl. Tommy was laughing hard while trying to see if my arm was broken. I couldn't move it. I didn't particularly want Tommy to touch me, since he ran to pick up the gun first!!!! My arm wasn't broken but I had a bruise that covered my upper arm and it hurt like a mama dog for weeks.
When it came my turn to hunt, I was sore but I knew I could fire a gun if I saw a turkey. We went into the woods before daylight..... we would be there when the turkeys flew down off the roost and started to eat and mate. I had already made up my mind I was not going to shoot if they were mating. That is just wrong...to me.
Tommy set me up in a blind so I could move a little bit. I can't be still at all and turkeys have great eyesight. Unfortunately, he sat my blind up on a pile of leaves. And I have a wonderful imagination. I kept wondering what I was sitting on---a snake, spider, ants, and or ticks. I scooted and squirmed as quietly as I could until I got to earth. Tommy told me to be quiet 3 times. I thought that was pretty good for the pile of leaves I had to move around.
Daylight breaks, the turkeys begin gobbling all around us. They flew down off the roost, everything became exciting. I had a big boy coming my way. I was ready, then another comes. We have a hen decoy set up about 20 yards from me. They are coming to her. I get my gun ready and I hear Tommy say "not yet". The bird comes in a little closer and he still says' not yet.' When he finally tells me to shoot ----I MISS--twice. Tommy threw a hail Mary at the second bird- and missed so I didn't feel so bad until I started talking to Tommy. He couldn't believe I had missed my bird. I casually mentioned that he missed his bird and he came unglued. Saying "I only threw up a shot because you shot". I am thinking, "Well bud ya missed.." I was ready to go home---but that was not the plan. I was going to shoot a turkey or we weren't going home. That is when I decided I didn't want to play anymore.
Tommy informed me that we would have to do it the "hard way now" I knew that fact was not going be good for me! We started walking, and we walked and we walked.
We came to a thicket of briers. He marches in like we are going to war. I am getting all scratched up, seriously thinking about deserting this war. I was about to say "Let's go home", when a rabbit jumps up between my legs!!!!! It scared the crap out of me!!!! In my mind, that rabbit was a ten foot snake. I scream-- and scream loud!! Tommy flips around and wants to know what is wrong--- I told him about the rabbit. I can hear him now," You did all the screaming over a rabbit???" I fired back at him, " I didn't know it was a rabbit at the time. I thought it was a snake! And besides it jumped up between my legs---what was I supposed to do?". Apparently, I did the worst thing possible on a hunting trip--beside scream and that is laugh! I got tickled. I laughed and I laughed and then I laughed and cried together, like I do when I am about to loose it. Nothing quiet was going on in my corner of the world and I did not care. I was hot, tired, lost and seeing things that were not there. I needed to go home and I needed an air conditioner!
Tommy could find nothing humorous about this whole morning. He was mad and he was going to walk my wazoo of... AND he did!! We went through places where even that rabbit could not have gone. He said he was taking me back to the truck, but I knew better. We walked at least 2 miles away from the truck before we started back toward the truck. For a brief time we were walking through an old slave graveyard!! I was exhausted, the gun felt like it weighed a 100 pounds by the time we reached the truck. I was thirsty and hot and ticked off...plus I was turkeyless!!
It was a quiet trip home until Tommy started talking about our "adventure" and he started laughing. I wasn't nearly as amused, since I felt like I was half dead and part of me wanted to shoot him!. However, I got in a better mood. He stopped and bought us a six pack of Miller Light and I drank 3 beers before we got home. I was in a much better mood, but I wasn't about to go turkey hunting the next morning,or the next morning--no matter what!!! And I didn't:)
Tommy shot his turkey this morning about 9 a.m. It weighed 22 pounds had 1 inch spurs and an 8 1/2 inch beard. He has two more weeks to hunt and get another bird. So the house remains a combat zone for awhile. And that is ok with me. We lead laid back lives since we have retired. Our home is not a show case, it is lived in and homey. We are here some days 24-7; we have learned to be flexible and enjoy the mess.
Today was a good day. I only hope Tommy doesn't start hinting for me to turkey hunt....so he can go again--and again and again. I am no hunter. Tommy wants me to hunt with him so much, but I guarantee if I had been along today---he would not have gotten his bird. We have tried this before and it never works.
The first time Tommy took me turkey hunting was a perfect morning. We had already scouted the area. We knew there were turkeys in the woods. I had practiced shooting and I was dead on. I enjoy shooting guns. I have a Mossberg 20 gauge and she is sweet... except for the time she nearly broke my arm!!! I practiced standing up to shoot. Bang!!! I was in the red circle. We did this quite a few times. Then Tommy decides that I need to sit down and try to shoot. Well, I am feeling a little invincible and cocky right about now and I put the gun up to shoot and didn't anchor it like I did when I was standing. I fired the gun and screamed!! I was sure I had broken my arm !!!! I sounded like I had broken my arm. Throwing the gun across the yard, I started rolling around on the ground, cussing and crying like a little girl. Tommy was laughing hard while trying to see if my arm was broken. I couldn't move it. I didn't particularly want Tommy to touch me, since he ran to pick up the gun first!!!! My arm wasn't broken but I had a bruise that covered my upper arm and it hurt like a mama dog for weeks.
When it came my turn to hunt, I was sore but I knew I could fire a gun if I saw a turkey. We went into the woods before daylight..... we would be there when the turkeys flew down off the roost and started to eat and mate. I had already made up my mind I was not going to shoot if they were mating. That is just wrong...to me.
Tommy set me up in a blind so I could move a little bit. I can't be still at all and turkeys have great eyesight. Unfortunately, he sat my blind up on a pile of leaves. And I have a wonderful imagination. I kept wondering what I was sitting on---a snake, spider, ants, and or ticks. I scooted and squirmed as quietly as I could until I got to earth. Tommy told me to be quiet 3 times. I thought that was pretty good for the pile of leaves I had to move around.
Daylight breaks, the turkeys begin gobbling all around us. They flew down off the roost, everything became exciting. I had a big boy coming my way. I was ready, then another comes. We have a hen decoy set up about 20 yards from me. They are coming to her. I get my gun ready and I hear Tommy say "not yet". The bird comes in a little closer and he still says' not yet.' When he finally tells me to shoot ----I MISS--twice. Tommy threw a hail Mary at the second bird- and missed so I didn't feel so bad until I started talking to Tommy. He couldn't believe I had missed my bird. I casually mentioned that he missed his bird and he came unglued. Saying "I only threw up a shot because you shot". I am thinking, "Well bud ya missed.." I was ready to go home---but that was not the plan. I was going to shoot a turkey or we weren't going home. That is when I decided I didn't want to play anymore.
Tommy informed me that we would have to do it the "hard way now" I knew that fact was not going be good for me! We started walking, and we walked and we walked.
We came to a thicket of briers. He marches in like we are going to war. I am getting all scratched up, seriously thinking about deserting this war. I was about to say "Let's go home", when a rabbit jumps up between my legs!!!!! It scared the crap out of me!!!! In my mind, that rabbit was a ten foot snake. I scream-- and scream loud!! Tommy flips around and wants to know what is wrong--- I told him about the rabbit. I can hear him now," You did all the screaming over a rabbit???" I fired back at him, " I didn't know it was a rabbit at the time. I thought it was a snake! And besides it jumped up between my legs---what was I supposed to do?". Apparently, I did the worst thing possible on a hunting trip--beside scream and that is laugh! I got tickled. I laughed and I laughed and then I laughed and cried together, like I do when I am about to loose it. Nothing quiet was going on in my corner of the world and I did not care. I was hot, tired, lost and seeing things that were not there. I needed to go home and I needed an air conditioner!
Tommy could find nothing humorous about this whole morning. He was mad and he was going to walk my wazoo of... AND he did!! We went through places where even that rabbit could not have gone. He said he was taking me back to the truck, but I knew better. We walked at least 2 miles away from the truck before we started back toward the truck. For a brief time we were walking through an old slave graveyard!! I was exhausted, the gun felt like it weighed a 100 pounds by the time we reached the truck. I was thirsty and hot and ticked off...plus I was turkeyless!!
It was a quiet trip home until Tommy started talking about our "adventure" and he started laughing. I wasn't nearly as amused, since I felt like I was half dead and part of me wanted to shoot him!. However, I got in a better mood. He stopped and bought us a six pack of Miller Light and I drank 3 beers before we got home. I was in a much better mood, but I wasn't about to go turkey hunting the next morning,or the next morning--no matter what!!! And I didn't:)
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
Easter Demons
The closer it gets to Easter, the more my mind travels back to a time where the unorthodox was considered normal. To a place where demons and angels fought daily, the invisible battles of the mind.
Easter is the worst time of the year to be insane, especially if you think you are Jesus, God or the Devil. Everyone wants to "rise" to the occasion!!! People get uneasy. The demons start to become agitated and speak after being silent for months. The tension is palpable. Any person in the area is aware of the risk that lurks in the eyes of peers and patients alike.
Years ago in a strange place like the one I have been describing, lived an old man. He was a loner by nature. Although he was imprisoned he could not be broken.
The younger men would be foolish enough to pick on him once, then they learned the hard way, to leave him alone. He was small in stature, thin and always dressed neatly. We shared a love of coffee. He liked his black---I drank mine with the works poured in. He thought I was wasting a good cup of coffee and I thought he was a snob. But we liked each other. He would reminisce about his wife. He had married an Indian woman years ago. I asked him if she was pretty. He shook his head no but said, "she was to me". Tears welled up in both our eyes for a moment and then was gone. Our relationship was odd at best.
One Friday night around midnight, I heard a shrieking, screaming, hair raising noise come from his room. Everyone ran down to check on him.
He was sitting on the side of the bed, using the most foul language imaginable to describe a rape that had been committed years before. His countenance changed. The old blue eyes began to look young again. The stench in the room was noticeable, completely out of character for him.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up and chills ran down my arms. I knew I was looking at pure evil and evil was looking back at me. My heart raced and I felt a cold chill engulf me. I wanted out of that room, however leaving was not an option. My job depended on my ability to remain calm in a crisis situation. Running was something I could not do.
There are things in life that happen and cannot be explained. People were trying to rationalize what they saw. For once in my life, I kept my mouth shut. I knew what was going on, but to say it aloud would have caused people to think I was insane too.
We were in the presence of a demon, and the demon was on a roll. For 2 nights he shrieked, screamed, cursed and relived every vile thing he had ever done. Then Easter dawned and the demon shut up. Everything was back to normal. The very air we breathed smelled cleaner, people began to laugh and joke again. It was almost like the past 2 days had never happened--almost.
The young blue eyes became old and weary. The old man's soul seemed to become sick, loosing his will to live. We seldom talked and never drank coffee together again.
I moved to another town, to another job. I learned years later that he hanged himself in the shower, on a Friday night just before Easter. For some reason I was not surprised.
Easter is the worst time of the year to be insane, especially if you think you are Jesus, God or the Devil. Everyone wants to "rise" to the occasion!!! People get uneasy. The demons start to become agitated and speak after being silent for months. The tension is palpable. Any person in the area is aware of the risk that lurks in the eyes of peers and patients alike.
Years ago in a strange place like the one I have been describing, lived an old man. He was a loner by nature. Although he was imprisoned he could not be broken.
The younger men would be foolish enough to pick on him once, then they learned the hard way, to leave him alone. He was small in stature, thin and always dressed neatly. We shared a love of coffee. He liked his black---I drank mine with the works poured in. He thought I was wasting a good cup of coffee and I thought he was a snob. But we liked each other. He would reminisce about his wife. He had married an Indian woman years ago. I asked him if she was pretty. He shook his head no but said, "she was to me". Tears welled up in both our eyes for a moment and then was gone. Our relationship was odd at best.
One Friday night around midnight, I heard a shrieking, screaming, hair raising noise come from his room. Everyone ran down to check on him.
He was sitting on the side of the bed, using the most foul language imaginable to describe a rape that had been committed years before. His countenance changed. The old blue eyes began to look young again. The stench in the room was noticeable, completely out of character for him.
The hair on the back of my neck stood up and chills ran down my arms. I knew I was looking at pure evil and evil was looking back at me. My heart raced and I felt a cold chill engulf me. I wanted out of that room, however leaving was not an option. My job depended on my ability to remain calm in a crisis situation. Running was something I could not do.
There are things in life that happen and cannot be explained. People were trying to rationalize what they saw. For once in my life, I kept my mouth shut. I knew what was going on, but to say it aloud would have caused people to think I was insane too.
We were in the presence of a demon, and the demon was on a roll. For 2 nights he shrieked, screamed, cursed and relived every vile thing he had ever done. Then Easter dawned and the demon shut up. Everything was back to normal. The very air we breathed smelled cleaner, people began to laugh and joke again. It was almost like the past 2 days had never happened--almost.
The young blue eyes became old and weary. The old man's soul seemed to become sick, loosing his will to live. We seldom talked and never drank coffee together again.
I moved to another town, to another job. I learned years later that he hanged himself in the shower, on a Friday night just before Easter. For some reason I was not surprised.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Drastic Measures
Sometimes it is not what you say, it's how you say it that brings results!
To be fair, this article is true, but not necessarily pristine. In fact it is crass. However, it is just me--being me. I am who I am and at times, that can be a bit much for some people. I am blogging about my life---usually. This is what this story is about., a couple hours of my life yesterday. So consider yourself forewarned---and welcome to my world!!!
Tommy and I were coming back from Tennessee on Saturday afternoon. We had been to see family and for Tommy to turkey hunt. We had a great time, but we needed to get home a little earlier than planned.
It was a hot day. We had the windows rolled down instead of having the air conditioner on. I like to smell fresh cut grass and everyone was mowing. After our long winter, the cool breezes felt great. The radio was playing classic rock and we were in a good mood. I kicked my shoes off as soon as we got on the road. This was going to be a fun trip.
About five hours into the ride, I get hungry. We had already stopped once for postcards, gas and sodas. In Tommy's mind, I had already used my "free stop". Everything else could wait until we got home.
We are in St.Louis, going 80 miles an hour in 8 lanes of traffic, when I look over at him and say, "Did I mention that I was hungry?" Tommy said, and I quote, "Yes you did--twice. We will stop soon." This is code for " we aren't stopping to eat until we get home"
We drive a little farther. I turned the radio off and scooted over close to him. I whispered in his ear, and I quote, "I am so hungry that I could eat the ass end out of a horse!!" Then returned to my side of the car.
He keeps driving but starts to change lanes. He is headed for the right lane ---which means there are exit signs everywhere for FOOD!!! I am elated. I was sitting there smiling to myself, when I looked over at Tommy and he's looking at me in a weird sort of way, and says, "Damn woman---where did you get that expression?? I swear to God I can NOT get that image out of my mind!!!" I told him I didn't really know, but that I thought it might be "Divine Intervention".
He pulls into the first drive through Dairy Queen and loads us up on some of the best junk food I have had in awhile. I am sated and happy!!! Life is good again. We whip back into traffic and ride along for a few minutes, when Tommy says "Divine Intervention my ass---you are one crazy woman!!!"
As we drive along we start laughing. We get what I call the "tired giggles." Everything gets funny. Then I have a "bad thought" hit me.
I need to stop--again. I really need to go to the bathroom. We are 50 miles from home. I scoot over to Tommy and say, "Did I mention that I have to go to the bathroom?" He just shakes his head and starts moving to the right again. Thank goodness---cause I was out of come backs---and I couldn't wait for 50 miles to pass!!!!
. Divine Intervention---yes indeed!!!
To be fair, this article is true, but not necessarily pristine. In fact it is crass. However, it is just me--being me. I am who I am and at times, that can be a bit much for some people. I am blogging about my life---usually. This is what this story is about., a couple hours of my life yesterday. So consider yourself forewarned---and welcome to my world!!!
Tommy and I were coming back from Tennessee on Saturday afternoon. We had been to see family and for Tommy to turkey hunt. We had a great time, but we needed to get home a little earlier than planned.
It was a hot day. We had the windows rolled down instead of having the air conditioner on. I like to smell fresh cut grass and everyone was mowing. After our long winter, the cool breezes felt great. The radio was playing classic rock and we were in a good mood. I kicked my shoes off as soon as we got on the road. This was going to be a fun trip.
About five hours into the ride, I get hungry. We had already stopped once for postcards, gas and sodas. In Tommy's mind, I had already used my "free stop". Everything else could wait until we got home.
We are in St.Louis, going 80 miles an hour in 8 lanes of traffic, when I look over at him and say, "Did I mention that I was hungry?" Tommy said, and I quote, "Yes you did--twice. We will stop soon." This is code for " we aren't stopping to eat until we get home"
We drive a little farther. I turned the radio off and scooted over close to him. I whispered in his ear, and I quote, "I am so hungry that I could eat the ass end out of a horse!!" Then returned to my side of the car.
He keeps driving but starts to change lanes. He is headed for the right lane ---which means there are exit signs everywhere for FOOD!!! I am elated. I was sitting there smiling to myself, when I looked over at Tommy and he's looking at me in a weird sort of way, and says, "Damn woman---where did you get that expression?? I swear to God I can NOT get that image out of my mind!!!" I told him I didn't really know, but that I thought it might be "Divine Intervention".
He pulls into the first drive through Dairy Queen and loads us up on some of the best junk food I have had in awhile. I am sated and happy!!! Life is good again. We whip back into traffic and ride along for a few minutes, when Tommy says "Divine Intervention my ass---you are one crazy woman!!!"
As we drive along we start laughing. We get what I call the "tired giggles." Everything gets funny. Then I have a "bad thought" hit me.
I need to stop--again. I really need to go to the bathroom. We are 50 miles from home. I scoot over to Tommy and say, "Did I mention that I have to go to the bathroom?" He just shakes his head and starts moving to the right again. Thank goodness---cause I was out of come backs---and I couldn't wait for 50 miles to pass!!!!
. Divine Intervention---yes indeed!!!
Monday, April 4, 2011
I Will be so Glad When this Day is Over!!!!
Today is Monday and in the twelve hours that I have been awake, I swear it should already be Wednesday.!! One long-long-long day!!!
It was off kilter this morning by 7 a.m. and has gone down hill steadily. It had stormed last night and blew off part of our green tin roof!! It is hanging by a bolt and has banged off and on all day, due to the wind gusts we have had. I woke Tommy up to let him know about the damage. "Yep, the wind did a job last night" he said and went back inside. Fixed himself a cup of coffee and put on a "Turkey Tape". First sign this is not gonna be a great day!!!
My husband is an avid hunter and fisherman. He loves it. When he isn't hunting or fishing, he is usually watching it on t.v. At 7 a.m. I can only take so many turkey gobbles and I am ready to shoot the t.v.---put that bird out of his misery!!!!
This morning was no exception. I merely mentioned that we really needed to get the roof fixed today. Just about that time the hunter on the tape shoots, and Tommy is looking at me instead of the t.v. Tommy missed seeing that bird die --again. You would have thought, we missed the 2nd coming!!!!
This is a tape he is watching---that same bird has died for the last 10 years--never varies---never lives--always "gobbble gobble gobble" bang-- bang dead bird!!!
I take my coffee and go outside to fix the roof!!! I have my rubber knee boots on, because the mud is so deep and messy. My plan was to throw something up on the house to keep the tin still. What a plan!! Everything heavy enough to keep the tin down, I couldn't throw. It was too muddy to drag out a ladder so I went back inside....temporarily defeated. And just a tad bit ticked off!!
About this time, I needed to make a phone call---only to find both of our phones are dead. Once again I must interrupt his one man hunting adventure. He is not really excited to hear anything I have to say today. But that doesn't stop me. He checks the phones, sure enough, they are dead.
Since Tommy never throws anything away, we dug up a push button phone we had when Melodi was in high school. (she is 31) Hooked it up and it works fine. Then we remembered we needed an answering machine....found it beside the avocado green princess phone that I don't ever remember owning. As far as we know it works too. No one has left a message yet and truthfully, right this minute there is no one I want to talk to bad enough to find out if the damn machine works or not!!
In Tommy's defense, turkey season opens April 18th and he is very excited. Our lives will resume some form of normalcy when he gets his birds or the season ends. Until then, this is our lives.
I am sure the roof will get fixed---but not this week...because about an hour ago, I overheard a phone conversation Tommy was having with family in Tennessee and we are leaving Thursday and will be back Sunday. He is going turkey hunting in Tennessee. News to me.
Which is fine, since I want to see my Dad and our families. Would have been nice to know though, instead of overhearing it. Tommy usually doesn't do things like that--- and there was nothing wrong with this. It was just a lousy day and that didn't help.
As far as I know we are going in the same car. If by chance he takes a turkey call to practice with on the trip----I am throwing it out the window. I am also taking enough money with me so if I get put out in St. Louis. I will have a great weekend!
Tomorrow will be better. Tommy just bought me a chocolate ice cream cone---tonight looks like it is taking a turn for the better too. I'm still taking extra money just in case.
It was off kilter this morning by 7 a.m. and has gone down hill steadily. It had stormed last night and blew off part of our green tin roof!! It is hanging by a bolt and has banged off and on all day, due to the wind gusts we have had. I woke Tommy up to let him know about the damage. "Yep, the wind did a job last night" he said and went back inside. Fixed himself a cup of coffee and put on a "Turkey Tape". First sign this is not gonna be a great day!!!
My husband is an avid hunter and fisherman. He loves it. When he isn't hunting or fishing, he is usually watching it on t.v. At 7 a.m. I can only take so many turkey gobbles and I am ready to shoot the t.v.---put that bird out of his misery!!!!
This morning was no exception. I merely mentioned that we really needed to get the roof fixed today. Just about that time the hunter on the tape shoots, and Tommy is looking at me instead of the t.v. Tommy missed seeing that bird die --again. You would have thought, we missed the 2nd coming!!!!
This is a tape he is watching---that same bird has died for the last 10 years--never varies---never lives--always "gobbble gobble gobble" bang-- bang dead bird!!!
I take my coffee and go outside to fix the roof!!! I have my rubber knee boots on, because the mud is so deep and messy. My plan was to throw something up on the house to keep the tin still. What a plan!! Everything heavy enough to keep the tin down, I couldn't throw. It was too muddy to drag out a ladder so I went back inside....temporarily defeated. And just a tad bit ticked off!!
About this time, I needed to make a phone call---only to find both of our phones are dead. Once again I must interrupt his one man hunting adventure. He is not really excited to hear anything I have to say today. But that doesn't stop me. He checks the phones, sure enough, they are dead.
Since Tommy never throws anything away, we dug up a push button phone we had when Melodi was in high school. (she is 31) Hooked it up and it works fine. Then we remembered we needed an answering machine....found it beside the avocado green princess phone that I don't ever remember owning. As far as we know it works too. No one has left a message yet and truthfully, right this minute there is no one I want to talk to bad enough to find out if the damn machine works or not!!
In Tommy's defense, turkey season opens April 18th and he is very excited. Our lives will resume some form of normalcy when he gets his birds or the season ends. Until then, this is our lives.
I am sure the roof will get fixed---but not this week...because about an hour ago, I overheard a phone conversation Tommy was having with family in Tennessee and we are leaving Thursday and will be back Sunday. He is going turkey hunting in Tennessee. News to me.
Which is fine, since I want to see my Dad and our families. Would have been nice to know though, instead of overhearing it. Tommy usually doesn't do things like that--- and there was nothing wrong with this. It was just a lousy day and that didn't help.
As far as I know we are going in the same car. If by chance he takes a turkey call to practice with on the trip----I am throwing it out the window. I am also taking enough money with me so if I get put out in St. Louis. I will have a great weekend!
Tomorrow will be better. Tommy just bought me a chocolate ice cream cone---tonight looks like it is taking a turn for the better too. I'm still taking extra money just in case.
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