When Ghosts Talk

     For some reason  I have always been fascinated by war.  The guts it takes to sign a piece of paper saying that you are basically giving your life over to your country for 2, 4, 8 years or for a life time.  It is as sacred a vow as marriage should be, and it is taken seriously by young men and women daily.

     Young people who are one day playing video games, working at odd jobs, falling in love, or just looking for their place in the world.  The next day they are in boot camp and learning how to follow orders, combat skills and how to keep themselves and their buddies alive.

    A big part of me has always wished I had joined the military after high school. I graduated in 1967 and Viet Nam was going strong. My father had a fit and refused to even discuss it. I was going to college or to work but I was not going to Viet Nam!!!

     I was so immature when I graduated from high school, I probably would have made a terrible soldier.  I wanted to be a medic.  I don't even know if they let women then do that but it was one of my dreams that never materialized. I figured I would become an LPN  and maybe later a nurse.  I had a million things I wanted to become....a social worker, an artist, a writer,  I wanted to backpack through Europe.  That went over, just about as good as going to Viet Nam.

     Where I failed to follow through with some of my many plans, I did become a soldiers wife and a soldiers mother.

     Life comes at us from all sides and seldom do we see the pattern at the time.  Sometimes we never see it, but it is there all the same.  I married Tommy in 1969.  He was a Marine and we were stationed at that time at NAS Atlanta, later we went Yuma, Arizona for 18 months where our first daughter was born.  He decided not to re-up because he didn't want to be away form us.  I will always be proud to have shared that time with him.  He is my hero.

      Years later, Tami, my middle daughter, came to me and asked me my advice about joining the military.  Part of me wanted to say "Yes, it is an experience you will not get any place else."  The mother part of me wanted to say "No, you could get killed, you will come back changed, play it safe"  But inside I was remembering how I felt when I was trying to figure out where my place was in this world.

     I finally told her basically what I have just said. It is one of those things in life you cannot predict the outcome.  Once the pledge is signed, there is no changing your mind.  I made her decide, and told her I would support her either way.  She enlisted in the Army National Guard from 1996-2004. She was amazing and a good soldier.

      One day while I was at work, her friend and "battle buddy" let it slip that she and Tami had volunteered to go to Bosnia.  My heart immediately went to my throat.  It turns out they didn't go, but for a Mom it was a close call. 

      While Tommy and I were at the VA yesterday, I spotted the picture at the top of my page. This image does not do the picture justice.

      I was captured by the photo,  I could not stay away from it. Three times I made my way to look at it more closely.  Finally I took a snap shot.  I probably wasn't supposed to do that, however no one tried to stop me.

      I look at the photo and hear the voices of 100's of men.  I hear whispers  "it wasn't in vain"  One man looks so afraid, another so young.  One man a captive, another on the move, forever forward.  It speaks to me of a courage under the worst of circumstances.  Of lives lost for a victory they never saw.  It makes me proud of these men and all the other men and women who have fought and given their best....sometimes their ultimate best--their lives.

      The men in the trees, speak to the men on the ground  "Go on, Push Harder, some say "be careful----you don't have to win the war by yourself" I think some are saying "we are always with you and if you don't make it we will be there to meet you and carry you home"  Others are saying "I have your back". Some say "I surrender"---horrible words for a soldier forced to repeat.

     Whatever, the photo speaks, it touches my heart.  Our world right now is so unstable.  The Middle East could explode at any minute. There are so many people so angry with each other.  Some trying to protect, others trying to destroy.  All believing they are right no matter how wrong some are.

     However we still have brave men and women fighting, working, trying to make this world a safer, better place to live for those we love and for those we will never meet. There is very little room left for compromise.

     Remember this Memorial Day our fallen soldiers.  Remember their actions, and their results.  Listen for their voices. Let them speak to your heart---let them tell you their secrets.

                    God bless America and God help these men to not have died in vain.