Sometimes I am the Wife and Sometimes I am the Mule

           I have been married to Tommy long enough to know that when he gets out his chainsaw, I am going to be working very hard---whether I want to or not.

          Last week was one of those occasions, when we worked from sun up to sun down---almost.

          I was busy cleaning out my flower beds and doing some replanting, when I heard the chainsaw crank up.  I kept working, playing like I didn't here the buzz saw in the garden.  I knew it was going to be just a matter of minutes until I heard, "Hey babe, are you busy?  I could use your help for a few minutes"  Translation----"you are done messing with those flowers---time to get to work".

          Sure enough that is exactly what happened.  I trudged over to the garden and asked "What's up?"  Tommy grinned and said and I quote, "We are finally going to cut down the trees that have shaded our garden too much. We are letting the sunshine in!!!"

          Wow!! wish I was as excited as he was---it's only been 30 years that we needed that done.  He was just waiting for the mood to strike, I guess.  I asked him if he had a plan or were we just going to wing it.

          Since we burn wood in the winter, I am used to us cutting and splitting wood.  However, we seldom cut down our own trees.  He explained that the only tree I had to help with was the BIG tree that was leaning towards the garden.  Actually, it wasn't all that big....maybe 10 or 12 inches around and about 30 feet tall. My job was to make sure the tree didn't fall across our fence and into the garden.

         I knew from the beginning that the plan had faults...BIG FAULTS!!!!  However, Tommy had faith that I could do this.  I had none whatsoever.

         The process wasn't all that hard and in theory, on Mars-- it might have worked, but never, ever in our back yard ---with just the two of us.  I was the mule, and when he cut the tree I was supposed to pull the tree away from the garden fence and land it on our side. I shook my head and really wished I had a xanax. 

        Tommy placed the rope around the tree, then behind a bigger tree about 15 ft. away, then it was my turn.  I was not to wrap the rope around my hand but anchor my feet and as he cut--pull and guide the tree across the fence.  If I had been a mule--it might have worked.  If I had a mule--it might have worked, since I was neither a mule nor had one, I couldn't do anything with that tree but watch it fall--across the fence and right smack in the garden---all 30 feet!!

       Tommy looked at me ,"What the Hell happened?"
       I looked at him, "Looks like the tree fell in the garden!!"
       Tommy, "Did you even try to stop it?"
        Me.  "Of course, It's a frigging tree what did you expect me to do with it?  Say Whoa Tree--and it would stop?"
        Tommy fuming ,  "We"ll just have to do it the hard way---get ready to chunk the wood over the fence as I cut and move as many branches out of the way as you can"
        Me "Frigging tree--it's hot--and I am tired"
       Tommy, as hot and tired as I am,  "Well, you should have held the tee~~"
       Another round of expletives from me, concerning where he could put that tree!!!"

       We decide to take a break and cool off---maybe in the process we will come up with an easier plan.

       We went inside our house, cooled off and drank about a gallon of water. We both apologized for getting short tempered with one another. Soon we were going out the door, to face that damn tree again.

       There was no Plan B, we had to cut the tree up and move the branches.  It was as simple as that. My first job was to move the branches as he cut up the wood for winter burning.

       I am severely left handed.  It comes natural to me to move everything to the left side.  And that is what I did. I was amazing. I got in there and did the ole heave ho and threw those branches across the fence in record time.

       Only problem, Tommy wanted them on the RIGHT side!!!!  Well, he should have told me or stopped me.  I was not moving those limbs again!!  Sooo after I got all that crap moved to the RIGHT side and we threw the chunks of wood across the fence. We were done!!!!  In more ways than one!!!  Both of us were exhausted, smelled less than fragrant and I was itching up a storm.  We called it a day!!!

       I was in the house and in the shower before Tommy could even get out of the garden.  It felt wonderful and I revived a little bit, not a lot but at least I didn't itch!!.

       Later that night we had a long talk about our day.  I told him that I really could not handle a tree, did not want to handle a tree and that I was no MULE..  He just chuckled to himself, and said, "Aww Babe you will get the hang of it. It's not all that hard"  More expletive's came to mind but I kept my mouth shut. I am very easy to live with, but I draw the line at being a mule!!!  I understand why mules are so stubborn, and why they balk all the time.  It's hard work!!!

      Father's Day is coming up and  I do believe my man is getting a mule ???  It will be the best investment I ever made---unless I have to ride it!!. And knowing Tommy the way I do---I will be riding that mule, probably while the mule pulls a tree down!!!

     Hmmm, maybe I need to give more thought to his Father's Day present..  I think Tommy might enjoy watching me fall off a mule----just a little too much!!!  This is probably not one of my better ideas.  However, we live in the woods and there are plenty more trees he wants to cut down.

      As Scarlett O'Hara said in, "Gone With the Wind", when she shook her fist and swore to God she would never be hungry again-----   well,I will never be any one's mule again!!!" But, I know in my gut, that is not the way this is going to be.

     We are partners, and we need each other's help.  I just  think we need to take turns being the "head" and being the "ass".....how hard is that? To me it is the American Way!!!  Now if I can just convince Tommy......