I finally put our Christmas tree up this morning. I did it while Tommy slept. There was Christmas music playing instead of a football game. No one got mad, because the tree was crooked or in the wrong place. No sharp words were exchanged because one of us missed a touchdown while the tree was being assembled. Everything went smoothly and fast, it was nice, but not what I call fun at all!!! However, over the years I have gotten used to this. Sometimes a person just has to make their own fun....alone.
I have always had a Christmas fantasy concerning putting up the Christmas tree. I wanted it to be a memorable, fun time for family and friends.
I wanted a party!! All the family would attend. We would wear our best clothes and bring our favorite dishes for the buffet.
The house would be lit with dozens of candles. The smell of apple cinnamon and pine tree needles would fill the air. There would be a live tree standing tall, full and regal.
The tree would be up and waiting for the guests.
Each person would put their own ornament on the tree. An ornament from some special time in their life. Stories would be told as memories were added to the tree. Pictures would be taken of friends and family as they shared bits and pieces of their lives with each other. Christmas magic would permeate the air.
Christmas music would be playing in the background. All our favorite songs would float among our guests.
As soon as the tree was finally decorated and pictures had been made, we would share a toast to each other.
There would be laughter, hugs and kisses under the mistletoe. We would eat from the buffet and maybe dance. Everyone would have a good time.
It would be a perfect night, a perfect way to start the holiday season. However, this is a scene from the soap opera "Days of Our Lives" and not my life at all. My fantasy for sure, but not my life.
We have never put up a Christmas tree in this fashion. We have done every thing else imaginable but not this. I remember Tommy and me hiking through our neighbor's woods to find the perfect tree and getting lost!! We spent two hours walking aimlessly until we finally spotted our home.
Another time we were once again in the woods, getting our tree, when the neighbors pit bull honed in on us with a vengeance. We escaped with the tree and our butts in tact. However, the tree suffered quite a bit of damage in our run for our lives. We had to shape it up and in the process cut too much off. The poor tree could barely stand alone in the bucket.
The girls didn't want anyone to see that tree!!! Neither did I. Tommy offered to buy us a real tree, but we worked hard on that tree and we kept it. It was a memory maker for sure. Ugly, but a memory maker none the less.
That was our last real tree. No more would we have to worry about freezing to death in the woods, or arguing over who drug the tree and who packed the ax. Both weighed a ton by the time we reached the house.
Tommy always worked the 11-7 shift at the Fulton Reception and Diagnostic Prison. He would get up early to spend time with us and then catch a nap before work. Half way through decorating the tree, Tommy would go to bed. He'd give me a kiss and say he "would see the tree when he got up". The girls and I would then finish the tree. We usually made fudge and cookies earlier in the day.
We would light the tree and eat all sorts of good treats while the Christmas music played. It was fun while it lasted. But kids grow up, and get lives of their own. Just the way it is supposed to be.
When the girls started dating, some young man would call and they would be gone in 30 minutes, or one of them would have to work and Melodi and I would finish the tree. Tommy would be asleep, it would be ready when he woke up.
The girls left, one at a time, and for the past 17 years, I have put the tree up by myself. Finally, it became the norm. When it is all done, I turn off the lights and plug in the tree. I sit there in the dark, drinking coffee, listening to Christmas music and remembering other Christmas seasons. While I miss the girls, I enjoy remembering stories of Christmas' when they were young. It is a very special time for me.
This is a ritual I do every day until Christmas is over. I enjoy the tree, it is my favorite part of Christmas. Over the years, I have become jealous of my morning time.
As for the fantasy, well I still have it, but in reality it is not going to happen. It is a fantasy and fantasy's seldom come true. That is not a bad thing either.
We need dreams, as long as we remember to be very thankful for all the truths and love we actually have in our lives. As long as we remember what is real and appreciate its existence.
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