Thursday, December 8, 2011

Muscle Spasms, Ben Gay and Deer Piss

I hurt!!!  I pulled the muscle in my shoulder about a month ago and I have been in pain since that day. Non stop pain. It doesn't matter what I do or take, the pain is still there. I am finally going to the doctor tomorrow, hopefully she will be able to help me.....because no one else will!!!

It was a freak accident that caused all this pain.  Deer season was in and we were getting up extremely early so Tommy could hunt.  One morning I slept in and missed Tommy's leaving.  Apparently he could not find his insulators and moved the coat tree into the middle of the floor.  When I finally got up, I tried to move the hall tree with one arm, since my coffee was in the other hand.  No way was I putting the coffee down. As a result, when the coat rack fell, I grabbed it with one hand and in the process pulled my shoulder muscle---bad.  But on the good side---I did not spill one drop of coffee.  I really needed that cup of coffee, especially since I was crying and having a fit just like a little girl!!! Only most little girls do not have as colorful a vocabulary as I do. And that is a good thing.

I hate to cry and I really hate to hurt.  I did everything I could to fix the problem. I put ice on it, I put heat on it, I put Ben Gay on it and nothing fazed it.  I even took a muscle relaxer. The muscle relaxer was from 2009 and was useless. The Ben Gay was put in the wrong spot, because I couldn't reach the right spot.

Here is where my better half, Tommy, was needed.  I asked him to put Ben Gay on my back and he said he couldn't he was hunting.  My jaw dropped open.  I asked him why he couldn't,  his reasoning was and I quote, "because I am hunting"


I told him "Tommy you aren't hunting now!!!  You are watching t.v." 

He said, "yes, but I will be hunting tomorrow and that stuff stinks."


I told him the smell would be gone, he could shower and the deer would never know.  He looked at me like I was crazy!!!  He said, "Seriously, I hate the smell of that shit!!"  This comes from a man who wears doe piss to cover his scent in the woods and he hates the smell of Ben Gay!!!  Unbelievable!


I had to stoop to what I call "dirty pool".  I brought up every time I have come to his aide and helped him when he could not help himself.  It worked--- barely. When he finally put the Ben Gay on, he took one finger and gagged when I squirted the balm on his finger, he then barely dabbed my sore shoulder.  Immediately he gave the tube back, saying "that is enough----you will be fine"


I was not FINE!  I asked him to rub it in and do it hard so it could be absorbed. He looked at me like I had asked him to amputate my arm.  I turn back around and wait. And I wait and then I wait some more!! I looked at him and he was back to watching t.v.  He was done.


I was trying to think how to get this mess taken care of by myself.  Finally, I remember I had a long wooden back scratcher and if I turned it on the back of the scratcher I could put the Ben Gay on it and hit the right spot. It worked!!!  Hallelujah!!


I hate going to the doctor. I put it off as long as possible and finally gave in and made an appointment for Thursday. To be fair, Tommy has wanted me to go to the doctor all along.  I kept thinking my shoulder would get better.  Evidently, I was wrong.

My doctor checked my shoulder and said I needed a stronger muscle relaxer.  She told me to exercise it and to use Ben Gay and to get some massages. 

I laughed when she said that.  I told her what was going on and she laughed.....she knows Tommy and really likes him.  Then she gave me the ammunition I needed to get the daily massages......It cost $35.00 for an upper body massage---I need several and he will not want to fork out the money for at least 5 massages.  WhoHoo!!!!  Tonight I get my first massage---I bought a new tube of Ben Gay---I am so gonna enjoy this!!!  As for Tommy, well he agreed. He is not happy but he agreed.  That is all I ask....

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