Happy Birthday Tami

Today is Tami's 36th birthday.  Time has really escalated in my life. Except for my left knee, I don't feel any different than I did when I was 40.  I have a daughter Lisa, older than I feel. It is a weird  feeling however I think this is the way life works for most people.  And that is a good thing. It is the ying and yang of aging.

Tami was born at a odd time in our life.  Lisa was 5 years old, getting ready to start kindergarten in the Fall.  Tommy had been laid off from his construction job for about six months.  We had no money or insurance.  We also had been told that we probably would not have any more children.  She was an unexpected blessing, from the very beginning.

Mama had taken an insurance policy out on me when we lived in Georgia. She specifically wanted it to cover pregnancy.  When we took the policy to the doctor who was going to deliver Tami, we found out that it covered everything but PREGNANCY!!  Mama was furious, I was stunned and Tommy wanted to leave the country!

Our due date was March 17th.  Since Lisa was born on the day she was supposed to be born on, I assumed Tami would follow suite and make her arrival on that day.

We had just moved to a huge old house in Fulton, Ky. the week before my due date.  While unpacking a glass I cut my right thumb almost to the bone.  Tommy was in the kitchen and saw me getting ready to pass out.  He grabbed me, put a cold wash cloth on my hand and started to fuss at me for getting hurt!!  I could hear him talk from far, far away.  I knew he was scared.

I never completely passed out but it was close.  Tommy told me we were going to the emergency room.  I didn't want to go....I had no choice. He had the car running, Lisa in the backseat and was about to drag me out the back door.  My hand was dripping blood. Lisa was about to faint, huddled against the left door.  Tommy was driving like a mad man and all I could think about was, "here comes another bill".


When we got to the ER the doctor on call told me I needed stitches. I told him that I was sorry but I couldn't have stitches today. I was having a baby in a week, I had a lot to do and I did not have time for stitches.  That man was such a charmer!  He said and I quote, "I don't care how many kids you have in a week....you are getting stitches today"  Tommy smiled and I started to cry.  


I got the stitches and was sent home.  We had so much to do. My cousin Darla, came over and helped us unpack and put things away. She was literally my right hand. Mama and Mamamae were there so between all of us it got done.  Our room was set up for the baby. And the countdown was on.  


That old house turned out to look pretty in about 2 weeks.  However when March 17th rolled around, nothing happened. I felt fine.  The doctor said it could be any time. I just wasn't ready yet.   Bull, I was ready, Tami wasn't!!


Mama took me out for lunch and told me to calm down and be patient.  Never two things I have been known for, definitely a lesson I needed to learn.  I had a month to learn it in. Every day someone would call, or come by for a visit and say, "Well, haven't you had that baby yet?"  Like I was holding out on purpose!!  


Finally on April 10th after a long day of visiting family. Bonnie  and  Bobby Joe, Tommy's niece and husband, had been at Virginia's home with their new little girl, Bonita. She was born when she was supposed to be, or close to it. She was a beautiful little baby girl, looked like her Mama.  We came home and I fixed supper. I remember my sides hurting a little.  Then about four hours later, I was certain I was in labor.


Tommy and I took Lisa to Mama's and then headed for Union City, Tennessee.  Twenty hours later, about 9 a.m. on a beautiful Sunday morning Tami was born.  When she was born she cried, of course. They placed her on a table top  close to where I was.  She was so pretty. She cried for a minute longer and then stopped and started looking around.  It was like she was taking in the surroundings, trying to decide if this place suited her or not. I couldn't take my eyes off of her.  I knew from that moment she was going to be a strong woman when she grew up. At five minutes old she was already sizing up the world and deciding what she was going to change.

They took her to the nursery then. She had jaundice and needed to be put under a light and monitored.  I was taken back to my room and the nurse started an I.V.  After talking to Tommy, I began to doze off.  He left to tell our families what we had and how we were doing.  When I woke up, my arm ached. I called the nurse. The I.V. had run out or stopped working and I had a huge blood clot on my arm.  People started coming in from everywhere.  Wanting to make sure the blood clot didn't break loose.

When I finally got to hold Tami, Tommy and Lisa were there.  Tommy named Tami.  That was the deal we had made when I was in labor with Lisa. I changed the name on her and promised Tommy he could name the next one.  He held me to it.  He named her Tamatha Kay.  It is a mixture of letters from my best friends names. Tommy, Brenda and Kathy.  The Kay was my middle name.  I wanted to spell  her name different, Tami was what I picked.  His second choice in names was Casey Jo.

When it was time for me to go home from the hospital, they told me I would have to leave Tami. She still required the light treatment. I refused to go. I couldn't imagine leaving her alone in the hospital. After about 3 hours they gave in and let me take her home.  She was fine and had no problems. 


The following Sunday was Easter and we were at Virginia's to celebrate.  I love big families. So many people to love and to love you in return.


Lisa was such a good baby, however Tami was not.  If Tami had been born first, she would have been an only child!  She refused to sleep at night. In the first 18 months, she slept through the night twice, and I got up both of those nights because I was afraid she had died!  She had a mind of her own from day one.  She knew what she wanted and she wanted it right then. There is no delay switch in Tami.


I can still see Tami now at 2 years old. She was beautiful, big brown eyes.  Glossy honey brown hair, pulled up in a ponytail with strands of curls hanging loose. Both hands on her hips and mad as hell at me about something!!  I asked Tommy how he did it. He and Tami got along so good and Tami and I were always at odds.  He said "It is simple, I get along great with you.....and she is just like you are"


Music to my ears, I only wish he had told me sooner...she is so my child.  All my daughters have bits and pieces of our personalities.  I see Tommy in all of them. I see me and I see their own selves.  It is a good mixture.  They are our greatest blessings. 


I remember wishing that one day Tami would have a little girl just like her.  I smile and smile,  sometimes I even laugh out loud because Jacy is so much like Tami.  It is a pleasure to watch those two interact.  They are indeed very much alike....and that is a good thing. 


Three years later along came another surprise, Melodi.  I am saving that story for her birthday.


Happy Birthday Tami, you are such a blessing in my life and I love you like crazy!!!