Remembering a Gift from Mama

As I was driving home today from grocery shopping, I started thinking about Mama.  I do that a lot anyway.  However, today she has been close by my side.  Before I started buying groceries, I wanted to look for a new purse.  I buy purses like most women buy shoes. 

 Mama loved purses and shoes.  I think maybe she liked shoes more.  It was a close call.  Both followed us home when we went shopping together.

Today, I was remembering the last time I talked to Mama on my birthday.  It was about a year before she went to stay at the nursing home.  Her memory was slipping badly.  Each day she lost something permanently from her life.

It was early in the morning on April 6th, when she called.  I answered the phone and was so glad to hear her voice and know that she was calling on my birthday.  That day wasn't gone yet. It thrilled my heart.  

Mama was a little hesitant as she was talking, like she was fishing for words. Unsure of what to say but wanting to say something.  I didn't mention my birthday.  I didn't want to make her feel bad if it was gone.  It was enough just to hear her voice.

Finally she said, "Ah, Vicky is today your birthday?"  I told her yes and that I was so glad she had called.  There was a huge sigh of relief on her end of the line.  She said something like, "I was afraid I had missed it.  Sometimes I just can't remember what I am doing."

She pause again and asked, "Did I get you anything?"  I told her yes  she had sent me a beautiful birthday card and $50.00.  She was thrilled.  I could hear the smile in her voice.  She hadn't sent anything and that was fine with me.  Mama would never know that secret.  We talked for a little longer and then we ended our conversation.  I hung up the phone and cried for about an hour. I knew that was the last conversation we would ever have on my birthday. It was the last time she ever dialed the phone and called me.

Several years later, after Mama had died, I was cleaning out Mama's  clothes and her chest of drawers.  I found a card that said, "Happy Birthday Daughter" it was one of those sweet mushy cards that always touches my heart and usually makes me cry. Underneath the card in tissue paper, was a pretty red straw purse.  It was big and had shoulder straps, just like I always buy.  I am sure that was the birthday present she bought for me and forgot to mail it.  I used that purse all summer, until the straps broke.

Today while shopping, I didn't find the purse I wanted. But I will, probably one day this week.  It will be straw, woven, with large leather handles and if it is red that will make it perfect. I know there is one out there......Mama loved to shop.....and I am betting she still does.