It Is that Time of the Year....Again

Tommy and I recently returned home from a weeks vacation in Florida with Lisa and Lisle. We were mellowed out and lovin life. And then the plane landed and we drove home.

Apparently while we were gone it rained---a lot. The yard was knee deep to a monkey's butt. Dandelion 's were about to take over the whole yard.  Tommy and I just looked at each other.  We both knew that tomorrow the dreaded lawn mower would once again be asked to perform tricks that it can no longer do.  If it were a horse, it would have been put down 13 years ago!!

We both knew what was coming and decided to get some rest, before the fight started!.

The next morning Tommy goes out first and as he closes the door, he says "Hey babe, I am gonna mow. I need your help for just a minute, so WE can get the mower started.  My eyes glaze over. My mind goes back to all the fiasco's we have had with that mower. I know this isn't going to be fun or pretty.  So I tromp outside and stand there waiting for my instructions. I actually propped up on the new mower, which just needs a new belt, and waited, sipping coffee to keep from grinding my teeth.

At last, Tommy speaks and fills me in on his game plan.  Once again, all we have to do is lift the green machine up--eye level and let it balance on it's back tires while Tommy fixes whatever is wrong.  I HATE this part. I have to keep the mower balanced  while he fixes whatever is wrong. If I don't hold it steady, it will fall on Tommy.  If I loose my footing, it will fall on me. Either way, I know I can not hold it for long once he jerks on it with a crowbar.  In all likely hood one of us, will get hurt....probably him.  

I tell him I need to go to the bathroom. I am stalling, hoping one of our many male friends will come down our dusty road, right about now.  No one came and I had to go back outside.  He has a new plan.  We are gonna work on the ground and jack it up with all sorts of wooden blocks.  Better plan than the first one.

Two hours later, the mower is fixed. He hops on and takes off  to transform our yard into a thing of beauty.  I go in and take a shower.  Two hours later Tommy parks the mower in the front yard and leaves to go help Ben sell some junk.

That is when I decided to help him. I would finish the yard for him. Two weeks ago the mower wouldn't budge for me.  Today I watched Tommy and with a lot of luck it started.  I was a mowing fool!!!   Zooming around the yard. Smiling to myself, because I knew Tommy would be surprised I had mowed. To me mowing is right up there with passing a kidney stone.

I had the back yard almost done. I was at the back of our yard by the woods, when something broke with the steering. I could only go in circles!!!  That is when I remembered AGAIN that this mower does not have breaks!!!   I started turning off everything, until finally it shut down.  I trudged back up to the house to get a glass of tea. Tommy comes in about 30 minutes later and wants to know how I broke the mower  AGAIN!!!  


So I show him. He knew immediately what was wrong.  He got on the mower and cranked her up. Looks at me and says "Turn the front wheels so they are facing the house"  I am like, "are you serious?  The motor is running, you and all your glory are sitting on the mower, how am I gonna move the tires?"  


Tommy says, "Just pull as hard as you can on the left wheel and the right wheel will follow".  So I do. At first nothing happens and then I get a little traction and the damn wheel moved!!! I was elated!!.  


Tommy takes off and heads for the septic tank. He doesn't have any breaks either. I have to admit I smiled just a little, as he shut the mover down and  called me.  I had to move the wheels again and point them toward the house.  I did and we repeated this two more times as he tried to get past the swing set and the water hydrant before it was a straight shot to the house.  


Once I saw he was going to make it, I ran off and left him. I jumped in the shower,  got out, grabbed an ice cold  beer,  two Tylenol and an ice pack. Turned the fan on me and went deaf!!!


Tommy came in the house, gave me one look and he too headed straight for the shower and an ice cold beer.  It was getting late---we would fix the mower tomorrow.  


That night when I said my prayers, I prayed that while we slept the mower would spontaneously combust.  It didn't. but we did get it fixed in less than two hours.  The yard looks beautiful.


Did I tell you that I really, really hate that mower?  Honest I do! Just think, we get to do all of this again---next week!