The month of January is my 'Well Woman' check up month. In my mind it is a woman's version of the military induction physical.
I have been poked, probed and prodded all in search of a cell that may have gone rogue. It is necessary but very uncomfortable. The hardest part for me is the mammogram.
Breast cancer is one of the top killers of women in the United States. A mammogram often finds the cancerous cells and helps to save many lives. To do this requires a procedure right out of the days of King Arthur. It also hurts like hell! There is no other way to describe it...that puppy HURTS!!
The machine is about 8 feet tall, gray with a clear cold tray that is adjustable. Physicians want to make sure they have xrays of the breast from every possible direction.
On the cold tray is where the breasts lay, one at a time, while the machine proceeds to make temporary pancakes out of them. After the attendant gets everything in place, she hurries behind the xray machine to make sure the image will be correct. ( It is always a female technician who performs this procedure. I am sure it is for privacy sake and then there is always the possibility if it were a man...some unstable woman might shoot him dead!!)
The perky technician peeks out from behind the gray monstrous image gathering machine, to adjust 'just a little bit here' and to increase the pressure again. Followed by more pressure then 'one more little crank' to make sure you are not going to move or go anywhere ever again in your life! That is when she utters the sentence that never changes, "Hold still and don't breathe"! Honestly I couldn't move or breathe if I had to!! I am standing on my tiptoes, with my fingers crossed and always fighting the urge to pee or curse or both. When I started this procedure I was 5 feet 7 inches. I know I am taller than that now!!
The whole procedure is repeated until she is positive she has good clear images. I am told to slip on a gown and wait to make sure the images are readable. Most of my 'images' were readable. We had to redo one and then I was free to go. I dragged my poor boobs off the floor, threw them over my shoulder and proceeded to tiptoe from the hospital. Hopefully, I will not have to repeat this adventure until next year.
I am making fun of my experience, however I really do encourage every woman to have a mammogram .
Early detection of cancer saves lives each year.
My reward for the day??? A new purse and the best cookie and cup of hot coffee in the world!! It never takes much to make me happy.
My home is seldom quiet. There is nothing wrong with this fact except I am a person who needs silence a few hours each day. Tommy hates silence. He will not acknowledge his need for noise. In fact, he would argue this is not a correct statement... but it is. The way Tommy and I were raised created these tendencies or traits. He was born into a large family, one of eleven and I am an only child. He was raised with noise and people talking non stop. I was raised in a quiet home. The loudest noises were my 'imaginary friends'. Over the course of time, these little peculiarities become part of our personalities joining the fragments of who we are.
Noise and silence are occasionally at odds in our home, especially during the week of the full moon. Without a doubt, Tommy will crank up the volume on the t.v. remote. I often think he goes temporarily deaf during the full moon. I become a little 'edgy' and unfocused. Thank goodness for my sun room. I have needed that room all my life and did not realize how much until now.
I seldom write long stories during the full moon. I write in snippets, often jotting down notes, ideas, quotes, or fiddle with characters names; things to be used at a later date. To do this once again, I need silence. Usually, I read most of the week, almost non stop or I paint. I need silence to read and music to paint...go figure. I have an unfinished canvas on my easel now.
However, reading won the toss up this month. I read "Lone Survivor" this week and started "The Book Thief". There is no doubt, "The Lone Survivor" has control of my imagination and it is not ready to move on. I had to stop reading "The Book Thief" until "The Lone Survivor" has been digested and stored on a book shelf in my mental library. Right now there is no room for another book in my mind. That often happens with any good book. I think it could mentally be compared to letting go of a lover. The mind will always go back for more.
The Full 'Wolf Moon' began on January 15th triggering this need for quiet. The name is derived from Indian lore. Years ago during January, the wolves would howl at the moon when the ground was barren of food and covered in snow. We don't have any wolves in our area now. However, on the 15th the coyotes in our area were loud and close. They woke us up in the middle of the night, howling on our pond banks. They also woke up our German Shepherd, Sabella, who was asleep on the floor at the foot of our bed. She returned fire at the coyotes, scaring the hell out of us...so much for our full moon this month.
Today is quiet. Tommy is helping Jody work. The dogs are asleep. The only sound comes from the crackle of the wood stove and the pecking of my computer keys. My words are coming slow like they have been asleep and are in the process of waking up. It is a very soothing day in my corner of the world.
In about two hours Tommy should be home. I always cook when he is gone for the day. After retiring, we 'divided' up the house work. He does most of the cooking and I do the cleaning. When he fishes, hunts or helps Jody work, then I surprise him with a good meal. I am in the process of making spaghetti for supper. The silence has been nice but I am ready for him to come home and make some noise. It has been a nice day in my corner of the world...just a little on the quiet side.
Tommy and I have lived in mid Missouri for close to 35 years. We have endured all sorts of weather extremes. It can be hot as Hell here in the summer. There is no "dry heat" in Missouri. As soon as summer finally arrives,
the humidity bursts on the scene, seldom leaving for any length of time until Fall makes her entrance. If you should happen to have natural curly hair...you will not have a 'good hair day' for four months.
Winters vary in length and severity. Sometime the snow is measured in inches, at other times it is measured in feet. However, there are usually a few days in January when Missouri is allowed to conjure up the perfect spring day.
Yesterday was such a day. The temperature rose to 65 degrees. Last week the temperature hovered below zero for days on end. Wind chill records were broken all over the state. Yesterday made up for that week. It was a perfect day to be outside.
The day was sunny, windy and begged to be photographed. As much as I wanted to see the Broncos play football, I wanted to see the Missouri River more. I am glad we took the trip. The river was the prettiest color of azure blue. It is seldom that color however, the sunlight and the ice created a new look for a muddy river. The light reflections were intense. Looking at the water made me smile.
The ice chunks were beginning to break up as the water did its magic and silently moved through the cracks in its thick, frozen armor.
As soon as we arrived at the river I saw Missouri's answer to Stonehenge. I could not stay away from these broken trees and stacked rocks.
For over an hour I let my imagination roam freely.
It was a good day to be quiet, allowing nature to make all the noise. Like a pair of ink blots, Tommy and I tried to soak up as much beauty as we could.
After a few hours, it was time to take the long way home. The Broncos won without my help...that made me happy too. It was a good day in my corner of the world.
I am the proud owner of a pristine six year old treadmill. I know exactly what condition this treadmill is in, because I am the only owner this Trojan horse has had. I purchased her with great gusto and good intentions. It wasn't long until the 'newness' wore off. She became the extra closet I had needed for years.
I named her 'Rosie' after Rosie the Riveter, the all American girl of World War ll. Also exercising and going to war, in my mind are close, minus the bullets, gunfire and random acts of violence. When I first bought her home I was an avid walker for two weeks. After those two weeks I realized I had placed Rosie in the wrong room. I had her in the den close to my computer. When I tired of writing, I would hop on Rosie and walk off my frustrations and hopefully my urge for unnecessary commas. This did not last long at all. She took up too much floor space. I tripped over her when I turned out the lights and my dog hated the sight of Rosie. As soon as I started to walk on Rosie, Sabella would start barking. She barked the whole five minutes I was on there!
I knew something had to be done. I removed all the throw rugs, cleaned a path through the kitchen into the living room and finally drug Rosie's happy wazoo into the 'art room.' Now that was a workout!!! Thought I would die before I got Rosie through the bedroom aka 'art room' door. I will never move that horse again! I shut the door and promptly forgot about her, until the first of the year when I decided for the millionth time to get up and move...at least faster than a turtle. I made a pledge to walk in one of the Alzheimer marathons in the early summer. In order to do this I need to get in good condition. The treadmill is back in the game. Rosie has been recommissioned! I am watching my food intake and all that other healthy stuff I should have been doing all along. However, I felt like I needed a spark to get me going; something to ignite my imagination and make this life style change fun. I was on the prowl for a new gizmo.
Today I found that 'spark' at Walmart...a hula hoop!! She is bright pink with sparkles all over her. She makes noise when tossed around and she was cheap. What more could I ask for?? I was tempted to buy Tommy one too. They did not come in camo or he would have one of his own.
As soon as I placed her in the buggy a older gentleman standing near by started laughing and asked, "Are you really going to use that?"
"Of course I am. I will probably end up in the emergency room tonight but I am going to try. When I was nine years old, I played with one of these things all the time. I loved it. It should be great exercise!" I told him.
Still laughing he said, "It has been awhile since you were nine years old! Good luck with that!" and he walked off laughing.
I probably ran into that stranger three times before I left the store. He always wanted to talk about my 'hula hoop'. Before I knew it another gentleman had joined our conversation. When I took off to look for Tommy they waved as I walked away. Ladies, if you want to pick up a man in Walmart... put a hula hoop in your cart!! I don't understand it but I swear they were coming out of the woodwork to talk about the hula hoop!! Unbelievable!
What is worse, Tommy had about the same reaction! He wanted to know what on earth I was thinking. I explained it all to him and he walked off laughing. When I checked out I told the clerk I was buying this hula hoop for my granddaughter before we ever walked down that road again.
Right now the hula hoop is hanging on Rosie. Tomorrow is a new day and I am tired tonight. I will start with a brisk one mile walk in the morning and then after a short rest...10 minutes with the hula hoop. Sounds like a plan to me:) If you don't hear from me for a few days...I will be in Callaway Hospital.
While in California last October attending Melodi and Lacey's wedding, I met a young couple who exemplify in my mind, the image of the 'modern day family.' They are the Travis and Jessica Gill family. Late Friday afternoon they arrived from Oxnard, California.
Everyone was debating about what to do first. We needed to finish decorating for the outdoor wedding but the wind was not cooperating. The gusts were too strong to set anything up and expect it to be in the same county when we arrived the next day for the wedding. All plans were on hold until Saturday morning when, hopefully, we could finish the decorating before the wedding late that afternoon.
We did have several rehearsal walks, adjusting the speed to the music, getting everyone lined up so we would know where we should be standing when the wedding march began. This is where Lisa and I met Travis, Jessica and their two beautiful daughters.
Travis was holding their baby, Ashton, when Lisa and I walked by them. Jess had Addison, their oldest daughter who is about 4, by the hand. Both Jess and Addison were in the wedding party. Jess was a bridesmaid and Addison was a flower girl.
The first thing to catch my eye about this young couple was Ashton's shoes. They were little black furry pompoms. She looked adorable; one little foot was kicking slowly as she enjoyed watching all the people around her. Nearly everyone stopped to say hello to them. The second thing to catch my attention was Jessica when she said, "Travis, you have Ashton tonight while Addison and I get ready for the wedding rehearsal." Jess gave him a peck on the cheek and off they went. I laughed to myself as Lisa and I walked away. I was remembering Tommy and me when we were about their age. Tommy always helped me with the girls...always. However, I am not so sure he would have kept a baby all night. He would have probably given the baby to the first nice lady who offered to help, while he went and grabbed a beer. Travis didn't. I know because Lisa and I asked him several times if he needed some help or a rest. He always smiled and said, "Thanks we are fine." That was impressive in my book. Wives and young mothers need a break from time to time. They need to have fun with their friends. I was glad to see this young couple had this worked out.
On Saturday as the wedding began, Addison was wearing a little gray and white dress, closely resembling the bridesmaids, with cowgirl boots. Her long blond hair hung to her waist. She carried a cowboy hat filled with flower petals. As Addison walked down the isle, she was supposed to drop the flower petals for the bride, Lacey, to walk on as she made her journey to Melodi waiting in the front with the rest of the wedding procession. However, somewhere in the midst of her walk, Addison changed her mind about giving up her flowers and only dropped one petal. Proudly holding her hat, she walked over and stood by her mom. Soon the wedding was over and the reception and photography session began. Melodi and Lacey had a table fixed for the two of them under a tree with lights, flowers and greenery. The finishing touch was added by Addison. She very quietly and gently walked to the wedding couples table and began placing her flower petals on the table. She took her time to place the flowers in just the right places. It was a sweet tribute from a very pretty little princess.
I enjoyed spending time watching this young family. They are beautiful, delightful and very funny. I know they 'got' me good:)
Since I am known for usually speaking what I am thinking, I should not have been surprised when this next fiasco happened...but I was passed surprised. All night I kept trying to remember where I knew Travis from. He looked familiar, but I could not place him. Finally, it dawned on me...he reminded me of Vin Diesel. Now why I couldn't keep this little tidbit to myself I will never know...but I couldn't. It popped out before I could catch it. I asked them if anyone ever told Travis he resembled Vin Diesel? He and Jess started laughing and about that time Jess hugs 'Vin' and says, "Oh Baby, she thinks you are hot!!!" I started laughing and backing up. "No, no I didn't say that exactly." Jess was having a good time with this and me. She said, "Sure you did" So I asked if I could take a family photo and got the heck out of there.
Lisa is sitting at a table near by and is laughing as I rush over. "Mama, did you just call that young man Vin Diesel??" "No of course not" I replied as I tried to crawl under the table. A new friend walked by and wanted to know if I would like a drink from the bar. "Why yes I would, I will take two tall icy screwdrivers in the bottle, please." Who knows after downing two of these maybe I will see Elvis!!
Travis and Jessica are wonderful, good people. They have a great start in life. They have just moved into their first home. I am excited for them. Jessica and I keep in touch on facebook. It was great to meet friends of Melodi and Lacey and to be able to call them friends now. They are a very good example of the new modern day family. I was very pleased to meet them.
I am glad today is January 1, 2014. I am glad 2013 is over, done and gone...never to return again.
Like the old nursery rhyme says, "When it was good it was very, very good. And when it was bad it was horrid." That, my friends sums up the year 2013 for me.
It was a year of 'firsts' and of 'lasts'. There was never a blending of the two extremes.
2013 began with Tommy being sick...very sick starting with the first week in January. He was taking two medications that worked against each other. The meds. were slowly killing him. The only way we found out what was wrong, was by happenstance. Tommy's medication had run out and he called to refill them...he was told to go see a doctor ASAP. He was in bad trouble, his heart paying the price. As soon as he quit taking the medications he immediately began to improve. Withing in two weeks he was seeing a doctor to have a heart ablation procedure done. It was to be a piece of cake. An overnight stay in the hospital then he could go home.
The procedure was scheduled for February 4th. Every thing went according to plan until 'something' went wrong and out of nowhere Tommy bottomed out and ended up on life support, within a matter of minutes.
For three or four days I thought he would die. Lisa, our oldest daughter, was with us. I can never repay her for all she did. When the doctor told me Tommy couldn't live with his heart only working on 20% I was stunned. My heart was breaking and I went somewhere in my soul I had never visited. I cried, sounding like a wounded animal. And Lisa held me, cried with me and said the perfect words I needed to hear, "Give Daddy a 20% chance to live and he will make it. Remember he is your Marine."
Lisa kept me full of things I had never drunk before...and they helped. The green 'Naked' stuff soon grew on me and I looked forward to drinking that crazy concoction. Of course the "Mocha Latte Coffee" from Starbucks downstairs kept us going for 5 hours at a time. Lisa did all the updating on her cell phone. Bless her heart, she was busy all the time.
This was our lifeline while Tommy was sick plus thousands of prayers. People all over the world were praying for him. They touched God's ear and Tommy began to recover on the 3rd or 4th day.
Family from Kentucky came to see us at the hospital. I am so glad I took 3 pictures while Tommy was so sick, because by the time family members got there he was on the road to recovery. The staff were taking tubes out and reducing the monitors almost on the hour. It was unbelievable.
Tommy was released from the hospital a week later. We stayed close to home for the rest of the month and the first two weeks in March. Then my father suddenly died on March 13, 2013. We made the trip home and stayed about four days then returned to Missouri. It still doesn't seem real. He was always a loner at heart. When his time to die came, he wanted to die alone. He refused to let family see him.
The Spring came in with April being our heavy duty birthday month. Logan turned 9 on April 1st. Tommy turned 65 on April 3rd and I turned somewhere between 9 and 65 on April 6. Tami was 37 on April 11th. It was a good month.
During the summer Tommy and I added a sun room to our house. I love it. It is everything I want and need to write, paint and read. No excuses now not to do any of those things. When my house is noisy, I have a place of peace and quiet unless I want to rock the walls with music. It was a good summer.
Melodi and Lacey got married in California. In October Lisa and I flew out for the wedding. We had a wonderful time meeting some of the nicest people ever to be born. The wedding was beautiful.
Tami finished her novel "Collapse". It is a wonderful book and I think it will be a t.v. series or movie if the right people read it. I am so proud of her and for her. She works hard and still makes time to be a great mother, involved in her church and community and to write a fabulous book.
On December 9, 2013 my best friend of over 20 years died suddenly. Carol Shea was only 62. She was too young to die. I miss her. When I try to write about Carol it is always in short, clipped sentences. Right now I can't express how much I wish her life had been different. Finally, I hope she is happy.
This was made on a good day when we went to Kansas City. She had fun that weekend we house sat for Melodi.
This has pretty much been the highlights of my 2013. Like I said at the beginning, when it was good it was very, very good and when it was bad it was horrid.
Today is the first day of January, 2014. I am excited about this New Year. We have a lot of plans floating around in the air. Places to go and people to meet...maybe get off the beaten path a little more. I like it out there where you never know what lies around the corner, down the road or over the next mountain. I am expecting good things this year.
