Some days are longer than others. Some weeks are endless. Others fly by at the speed of a juicy rumor in a small Southern town.The rumor can be all over town before the 9 a.m. sun has broken the sweat on the postman's back. Most rumors add kindling to the fire, heating up but lacking substance. This was what I was hoping for when I first heard my friend Kathy was sick. I heard she had cancer. I didn't believe it.....she would have told me.
I worked nights at that time and my life was backwards to everyone else except my husband. I thought about friends and family but it was hard to keep in touch. When we were awake they were asleep. So I lost touch with my "day friends' for awhile.
It was just a "fluke" that I ran into Kathy at WalMart one Sunday afternoon. As always we were glad to see each other, and started talking just like we always did. We discussed family and then she told me that she started chemo treatments on Monday. My eyes welled up with tears...this rumor was true.
I asked if she needed me to take her for her treatments, since my days off were Sunday and Monday. She hugged me and said, "Good God YES" Tears were in her eyes,also. She was going to get her pretty blond hair cut into a buzz later that night. She joked it that is would be "less to find on her pillow."
We talked a little longer, I wanted to go out for a bite to eat. She said, "Vicky, I can't eat. I can't get past the lump in my throat....even though the cancer is in my breast." I felt like I was going to throw up too. We hugged and she told me to pick her up at 8 a.m.
I finished my shopping and drove home. I don't even remember that drive. I guess I was on auto pilot. I kept thinking about what tomorrow would bring.
I have always said that the good Lord may have short changed me on looks but He gave me a big, loving heart and enough empathy for two people. I can literally feel at times how another person actually feels. Not always pleasant but quite often necessary---to be able to understand the circumstances of the person I am involved with. Whether friend or patient at the mental facility I worked at---it was my best asset----that and a good sense of humor.
The next day I picked Kathy up....and off we went, on the scariest adventure of her life. We talked all the way to Columbia. Making plans for things we were going to do after she got to feeling better and for things to do while the treatments were going on.
I love to "road trip". In another life I am sure I was a gypsy. She never had a chance to go a lot, so we were going to change that. She was excited. She wanted to go to Hannibal, to the Lake of the Ozarks again, gambling on the boat. And she wanted to explore reincarnation. Whatever she wanted to do---we would do.
Soon we were at the hospital, checked in and waiting to be called for her treatment. She asked if I could go back with her. They were so nice and supportive of her. "Absolutely, that's what friends are for".
I excused myself for a second, got a bottle of water and took a xanax!!!! I had long past being scared but I didn't want Kathy to know that. She had enough on her mind. She started laughing as soon as I walked back in the room..."Take your xanax yet?" "Hell, yes!!!!! How did you know?" Kathy said ," because you have needed one for over an hour. You know Vicky, you are better than watching t.v.!!!!" Somewhere in there came a response from me to the affect of "thanks alot shithead" The tension was broken and we were laughing like two high school girls.
In fact, we laughed and joked as they hooked her up to the I.V. drip---we joked about glowing in the dark and all sorts of sick humor that stayed with us through the next months. She was given a handful of pills and one of them was an Ativan. Kathy never took anything stronger than an aspirin, and when the Ativan kicked in---she got a buzz. For about an hour she had a whole new out look on cancer!! I laughed because she had no clue what was going on. She said "she felt better than she had in months"---no doubt.
The treatment lasted 3 hours. She was given ice to suck on to keep her mouth from drying out. After the treatment was over, they took us to a room to pick out a wig for her. The nurse said I could "play" too and so for over an hour we tried on wigs. We laughed, we booed and we decided that I could never be a blond. She finally settled on a short blond wig and it looked pretty on her.
On the way home the Ativan wore off. We had to stop and get prescriptions filled. While we were standing in line, Kathy decided I needed a wig. Hmmmmm I didn't want a wig. But the following Monday we took off looking for me a wig. That was a fun day. She was feeling pretty good and was determined to find me a wig. We did at the last shop. I even liked it. I don't know why it made her feel better but when we went out----we both wore our wigs.
Kathy beat the odds that time ,but just before her five year anniversary of being cancer free---she got cancer again. A stage 4 that went all over her body. Another friend stepped in this time. A lady named Kathy from St.Louis. She moved in with Kathy and her family and helped to take care of her. I was on the fringes this time. I had transferred to days, had a granddaughter that I took care of a much as I could. I saw them often, but my part had been played.
Kathy died a few years ago. I still miss her. I guess the reason I have been thinking so much about her today, is because I saw March flowers blooming in the snow. Kathy did not have a green thumb---and she would get so pissed when Daffodils bloomed in the snow...because she couldn't grow flowers under the best of conditions. One year she even planted fake flowers---just to see if she could kill them!!! After all the heat, the rain and winds the fake flowers looked horrible. After that she quit with the flowers. I gave her a bamboo plant when she first got sick. She loved that plant. It was tough---she couldn't kill it.
We never did agree on reincarnation. She ended up believing in it whole heartily. But she said she never wanted to come back to Earth again. She hoped her lessons were learned.. It was interesting to talk about, to question. I hope she is at peace wherever she is. Although, I do think it would be funny if that March flower blooming in my front yard was her. I say Hi to her everyday---just in case.
No comments:
Post a Comment