I have a bad case of Spring Fever. I am through with winter snows and the after effects of snow--mud!!! I am ready for the land to dry, the grass to grow and the fish to bite. However, I am pushing the limits just a tad bit because we are knee deep in mud as the last of few inches of snow slowly melt away. Rain is in the forecast for the next 3 days. We need the water and we are stuck with the mud. Easter is only a few days away. According to my grandmother, Mamamae after Easter Spring officially begins. For me this means 'Spring Cleaning' has already begun at my home.
Yesterday, I was sorting laundry when the phone rang. It was a bad connection and all I heard was, "Do your dogs bite?" Not recognizing the voice I said, "WHY?" The man asked again,"Do your dogs bite?" I told him "no not really', still leaving room for him to doubt what I said because I had no clue who I was talking to and why he wanted to know if my dogs bit! That is when I look out the window and see our Pastor and his wife, Bro. Mike and Sister Judy sitting in my muddy driveway. A million thoughts ran through my mind, first how I was dressed---pitiful to say the least. Had I combed my hair since I woke up from a short nap? Probably not. What was I going to do with all my dirty clothes? Stuff them in laundry baskets fast.
I ran to the back door where my 2 dogs were trying to surround the car. I yelled that the dogs wouldn't bite but they might jump on them. Thank goodness they did neither. I should have run back inside and put on Tommy's knee boots and helped them in but I didn't think of that until they were leaving.
Brother Mike and Sister Judy are my idea of really good Christian people. They are very non judgmental. I have told them things that were shocking and still they prayed for me and with me. I never once felt judged by them. When Bro. Mike prays, God listens. He has His ear, in a world filled with doubt, that is one thing I know to be true.
I am sure they didn't mind the 6 laundry baskets in the living room floor. I did. I should have moved all 6 baskets to the den but once again I didn't think of it until they had left. We had a good visit. They invited us to Easter services.
They both liked the way I had created a writing nook in the den. I have a bulletin board with quotes on the wall behind my computer. The one I see first is from my niece, Terry. She sent this to me last week. "Don't forget -- no one else sees the world the way you do, so no one else can tell the stories that you have to tell." by Charles de Lint. I love that quote and her. As we were talking about the room and quotes, I see the one quote I would not want my pastor to read--right in the middle of the board. It says and I will paraphrase it, "Don't 'Mess' With Me!" I don't know if they read it or not. I certainly didn't mention it. It is still there and will probably remain because there are days when that is exactly how I feel.
Yesterday was a good day. I enjoyed their visit. Tommy arrived home as they were leaving. He helped run interference with the dogs and the mud. I finally remembered to put on my boots and held Sabella's collar so she wouldn't 'herd' them out of the driveway. As soon as they left I ran in the bathroom to see what I looked like. Let's just put it this way, Bro. Mike fights Satan daily----my appearance and home was good practice for him yesterday:)
Jacy Rayne is an amazing little girl. She is on the cusp of growing up,
although she is not ready to give up her childhood just yet, for that I am thankful. She reveals herself a little bit at a time. The snippet's come unexpectedly. If you ask her a direct question, she will answer it without much detail. I have found it is best to wait and let her lead the way.
WalMart opened all sorts of doors for Jacy to lead me through. I needed help picking out Logan's birthday present. She knew exactly what he wanted....'Sky Landers'. When I started walking to the toy department, she took my hand and said softly, "No, Nonnie it is a computer game. I will show you where it is." And she did.
While I was picking out a 'hair color enhancer', I asked her if she needed any special shampoo or lotion. Very grown up she replied, "No I have all I need. I bought new razors the other day." Then she paused and said almost in a whisper, "I shave my legs now." I smiled making small talk and thinking, "this amazing eleven year old little girl is my granddaughter. What a privilege it is to be part of her life." Also I remembered the first time I shaved my legs, I had so much fun I shaved my left arm!!!
We went to the toy section and she picked out a very ugly doll with a head the size of a watermelon and the body of a toothpick. She packed it around for awhile and then put it back saying, "I really don't play with dolls much anymore." I told her I still played with dolls until I was 12 or 13, of course all the dolls were dating Paul McCartney. She asked, "Who is that?" I groaned and felt a tad bit old. She wanted a new poster for her room. It is a picture of a guy named 'Harry' who is in a group with four other boys. Harry now hangs on her wall, across the room is 'Jake" from Twilight.....I purchased him.
As we walked down the Easter candy isle, Jacy told me she "knew the truth about the Easter Bunny." She made me promise not to let Logan know. She went on to say "Now, I still believe in Santa Claus"...'me too darling, me too' I said....both of us smiling.
Jacy wanted to eat lunch at Subway. She ordered for herself, getting an Italian BMT with spinach on it. I was shocked. She is a very picky eater and to think she ordered spinach leaves on her sandwich was really a surprise.
Later Tommy and Jacy made homemade chocolate chip cookies. They were delicious, there are only two left, both will be gone as soon as I finish this blog.
It is fun watching children grow up. Logan will be 9 on April 1st. He goes to the State Wrestling Tournament next weekend. Jacy will spend the night with us again on Friday night. I wonder what 'secrets' she will share next week? Whatever they are, I am more than ready to listen.
This picture was made six days before Daddy died. I am so thankful for this photo. It captures a favorite memory of Daddy perfectly. He was one of the best story tellers and spinner of yarns, I have ever known. I would really like to know the questions they asked Daddy. I hope they were good questions that got Daddy's memory to spinning. In the picture, they all seem to be having a good time. I am glad.
When I was a little girl, Mama raised me to tell the truth, to mind and to believe what adults told me. However, when Mama and Daddy remarried in 1959, I was not ready for the 'Character of J.L.' I loved him beyond measure and when he told me something I believed it. I was so gullible....I still am. My family has a great time at my expense:) Daddy loved to tell me stories. He is smiling right now because he knows what story I am about to tell.
I remember once I got in so much trouble for telling our 4th grade class one of Daddy's tall tales. We had to tell our class, in a report, where our father's were born and how their lives were different from our lives. I was so excited to tell his story. When I asked Daddy the question, he thought for a minute and then he began to tell me how he had been born in Canada in a tribe of Saskatchewan Indians. I was shocked! How could I not know that. This meant I was half Indian!! Wait until the kids heard this! I totally forgot about Daddy's parents, Mama Pearl and Papa John. I was focused on the Indians. We talked about this for days. He told me how he lived in a teepee and shot his food when he was 4 years old. (I told you I was gullible) That was awesome. I asked him why he left the Indians? He said he saw Mama and fell in love with her and she refused to live in a teepee. Next thing you know, I am mad a Mama. I would have loved to live in a teepee. When I shared Daddy's story the teacher called me aside after class and said, "You need to talk to your Daddy again. I have known him all of his life. I think you misunderstood what he said." That was just the beginning of one tall tale after the other. I loved them all. I will miss those stories.
Regardless of how their lives together began, they ended in a wonderful love story. Daddy took excellent care of Mama when she was slowly dying from Alzheimer's. The look on their faces speaks volumes.
One thing for sure is Daddy was one of a kind. He could make me laugh or cry easier than anyone I have ever known. He was a man of many faces. I saw most of them. These are two of the faces I loved best and will miss forever.
Linda Ronstadt is one of my all time favorite singers. Last night her rendition of "Cry Like a Rainstorm, Howl Like the Wind" played out in its entirety in my living room. We had storms all night long. The thunder rolled, hammering it's message home.
The lightning ripped the heavens apart, one piece at a time. The rains pounded the wet muddy earth and helped to fill the low rivers and creeks. The rain was much needed in our part of the country.
Unfortunately our dogs do not understand our need for rain and find the storms terrifying. Sabella a German Shepherd and Sandy a yellow lab who is slowly turning white with age, were miserable all night. All they knew for sure was something scary was going on outside and I needed to be up checking on whatever it was scaring them. Last night was a long sleepless night for the girls. They wanted company and I wanted to sleep.
The first time I remember getting up was about 12:30. I thought they needed to go potty because Sabella had scratched at our bedroom door. I find my way to the back door with my dogs in tow. When I opened the door I expected the girls to run out the door. Instead when I opened the door a huge lightning bolt lit up the back yard and the girls ran back to the living room. Sandy jumped in her recliner and put her paws over her eyes. Sabella ran under the kitchen table and hid. So I went potty and then back to bed. I told them not to wake me up again unless they really, really had to go potty....end of story!
I slept a couple more hours while the house shook from the thunder and a lightning. Sabella was once again at the door scratching for me to get up. I did. Our power was off, leaving the girls without their night light in the living room. Sabella missed her light. There was nothing I could do about that and she was highly offended. I sat down on the couch. She slunk over to me. I stroked her head and tried to calm her nerves. About that time the storm kicked in again. Sabella took off for the kitchen table and Miss Sandy remained in her rocking chair with her eyes shut tight. I gave up and went back to bed. I may have slammed my bedroom door.
Sometime later in the night I heard scratching at our door. I yell "Get away from that door before I shoot you all!!" That woke Tommy up---sort of. He snatched my pillow saying, "I am nowhere near the door". I grab my pillow back and put it over my head trying to go back to sleep. Tommy was sound asleep in a few seconds. That is when Linda Ronstadt's song ran through my mind. I heard her singing it until I finally went to sleep. When I woke up everything was back to normal.....or as normal as we ever get around here.
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Yesterday for the first time in 30 days it felt like "The Tommy and Vicky Road Show" was alive and well. We made our debut appearance at the Echo Cardio Clinic at the V.A. around 11 a.m. We had an appointment there for Tommy's first echo cardiogram since he was released from Boone Hospital. Both of us were nervous. We knew he was doing 100% better than this time last month. What we didn't know was the condition of his heart. We still don't know but we have a good feeling about the test results. We will find out the answers in April.
Upon arrival a young man named 'Jack' came out to get Tommy for his test. I asked if I could go back with them, Jack was very gracious saying, "Of course you can." Tommy and I were both relieved.
The room was small. Tommy hopped up onto a table and laid on his left side. Soon 3 patches were placed on Tommy, in various areas across his chest. Goop was added, the lights were turned off, the procedure was about to begin. I am sitting in a corner behind the man doing the procedure. I have a perfect view of everything.
The images appear on the monitor and the first one I saw looked like a baby in the womb. The baby would have been about 4 months along. I laugh and say, "Congratulations Tommy, You are Pregnant!!.....I think it is a boy!" Apparently, I was not supposed to talk. No one told me that and beside it just popped out. I couldn't stop it. Tommy said, "Now Vicky, don't start or Jack will make you leave." Our master of ceremonies laughed and said, "Just wait you haven't seen anything yet!...and no it is not a boy." We relaxed. We liked each other, this was going to be good.
The show began and it was amazing. I was quiet for the rest of the hour, amazed at what I was viewing. We were looking inside Tommy's heart. I saw it pumping, saw valves appearing to be opening and closing. Occasionally, his heart lit up like the Doppler Radar Screen on the Weather Channel. Apparently that was when Jack was taking images of the blood flowing in and out of his heart. The reds and blues were a startling contrast to the muted shades of gray of his heart.
Once again I was amazed at the technology available to mankind. It was mesmerizing for me to watch a man casually wander in and around my husband's heart.
I didn't talk but Jack did. He had a soft soothing voice. Tommy almost went to sleep. I was enthralled by what he said and what I was seeing. Jack is also a veteran. He has been home 18 months after serving his last tour in Afghanistan. He didn't talk about the war so much as he did the country. He was stationed in Kabul. He went into great detail to describe that area of the country. He said point blank there is nothing there. "If man did not plant it and take care of it then there was nothing but rock and dirt." There were no trees for firewood in the winter. The locals burned tires for heat. He described a man or woman as old at 40 and lucky to have lived that long. He thought the country was the most 'unforgiving land' he had ever seen. I was intrigued. I also wondered about the lungs of the people who breathed the tire smoke for heat. In 20 years I hope Jack isn't paying a terrible price for his service to our country.
Jack couldn't tell us anything about the tests however he felt 'positive'. That is always a good thing to hear. Later, Tommy and I ate dinner out, then we came home and I slept for almost 3 hours. That is what a bad case of nerves and a good meal always does to me. Tommy and I both still feel the results will be good news. I hope we hear something before April 2nd. If not we can wait....I think.
I was asked today by a follower on another blog site, where I see myself in 5 years or 20 years. Evidently the young man does not know how old I am because the answer could easily be 'Dead"!
The more I thought about it the less 'dead' came to mind.....and that is a good thing as far as I am concerned. I began to think of things I still want to do. Things I want to accomplish and one new life style I still want to live.
I have always wanted to go to Italy and Greece. Some of my ancestors originated from these lovely countries. I want to see these places for myself. There is a small island off the coast of Greece named 'Mykonos' where people from Mamamae's side of the family originated. It is located in the middle of the Aegean Sea. I would like to spend an 'off season' there. The old part of the island is what I am interested in most. I hope to live there for about 6 months and get to know a piece of my culture long buried and unknown to me. I would like to photograph and write about what I discover. I think it would be a chance of a lifetime to take my grandchildren with me.
I also want to live in Key West for about a year. There is an eclectic group of people from all walks of life who live there. I want to join them. I intend to drink Margarita's at sunset. I want to paint the ocean and beach in the hateful watercolor form that I adore and cannot do! If I am going to throw caution to the wind, then the Keys is the place to do it. I will try and experiment with foods I have yet to try, clothes I have yet to wear. We will live sparsely in a rented house or perhaps just a rented room.....but a room with a view. Tommy will fish anytime he desires. We will enjoy the dawn and the sunsets together. I will let my hair go natural and enjoy the change.
I will check out Hemingway's haunts. Search for his cat, Snowball's descendants who had six or seven toes. I think they are protected and live in the old Hemingway home. I will make a serious effort to obtain one of these cats.
I will spend time walking the beach, one of my favorite things in life. My muse will feel at home. The stories will flow off the ocean breeze. I will read anytime I wish. We will all be happy when I am an old lady loving life all over again.
Tommy and I drove to the river a few days before the snow began falling. We walked and looked at how shallow the water level is this time of year. When all the snows up North melt in the Spring, the water will flow toward our river, the Missouri will hopefully rise from the dead. I have never seen her as a low, or as dry or as many sandbars showing as it has now. It no longer resembles our river.
One of our fishing places is at Portland. Tommy likes to fish there. I don't. There is an eddy and I stay in that darn thing, hung up on brush and tree trunks the whole time we are there. Today I saw what I have been fighting for 15 years if not more. The spot where I fish is down at least 25 or 30 feet. There is no eddy. I saw a rock dyke that I didn't know was there. It was close to 350 feet long. No wonder I couldn't fish that spot! I always thought it was a pretty area but hard on night crawlers. After seeing the river on that Sunday, I no longer feel bad. I also will not fish there again. It would be pointless. Only with a great amount of luck could I catch a fish in that spot.
We walked up and down the river, slowly taking in the changes. I was looking for any loose human bones. There is no telling how many people have been killed and dumped in that river. I didn't find a single bone but I did find a noose hanging from a tree. All of this should have been under water except for the base of the tree. Of course my imagination had a great time with the noose. Tommy just laughed and said he will be glad when I pull in a skull one day and get the crap scared out of me!! I laughed and thumped him in the head. I have to be careful not to hurt him---so I know that hard head of his is safe.
We stayed a little longer, walked out on the dyke. We saw huge trees, rocks and boulders that were either there under the water for years or had been washed up this winter.
Tommy found a couple of old fishing lures, while I took the picture at the beginning of the blog. It looks like the sun is shining brightly, but it wasn't. It was a flash mistake by my camera. A glare from the water. The more I looked at the picture the better I liked the mistaken shot. In fact, I liked everything about it. That photo has a lot in common with the river, the photo is deceiving. Nothing is where it is supposed to be. It is the same way with the river. It too has changed and is very deceiving. To me that made it all more interesting. It was a good afternoon for us to ramble around. The mistakes were an added bonus.
Even if I live to be 100 years old, I may never vote again. I have voted in every election since I was 18. I have studied 'platforms' the candidates were running on. I have checked their records on how they vote. I have checked their backgrounds to see what they believed BEFORE they ran for office. Any and everything I can think of to get the best man or woman in office I have done.
I can not even stand to hear any elected official, or most news commentators speak. When they open their mouths, the lies and double talk begins. I do not have a college degree and I can hear and see the lies. The halls of Washington D.C. are corrupt!!! So corrupt that the overflow is hitting my country from the right and the left and if there is a center---there too.
It is pitiful how low these people have gone. They do not represent us any longer. They are playing games right now to set the stage for the next elections!! They posture, shout, groan and moan, smirk and grimace much like a prostitute faking an orgasm!!
I am sick of them!!! I no longer believe the American people can turn this mess around. Our opinions do not matter to them. This bunch is a lost cause.
I hope someone, somewhere steps forward with a well read copy of the Constitution in their pocket. I hope they are believer's with a worn and torn Bible so marked up and highlighted some people will mistakenly think he or she needs a new Bible. No sir that Bible will do just fine. The people I see who might possibly be of help will be ruined by the press. They will be trashed like last weeks garbage.
I love my country, I love Her for what she has stood for but I fear for Her now. Things have changed. I no longer believe the men and women in office love America. They want a socialist state and country. Americans disagree with this. Ask us....then listen to what we have to say!!! We are still here---we are still American's---listen to us! Unfortunately, they won't.
We need another Party.....the two we have are worthless.
Mid Missouri has been covered in snow for a week, however to me it seems like forever. I love snow. I personally think it makes the world look pure and clean for a little while.
The fields are still solid white with mounds of snow covering a broken fence or a piece of exiled and useless machinery.
The cows are being catered to daily. The ice on ponds and streams are broken so the cattle can drink.
Most of the roads are clear. The county roads still have snow but have been graded and are drivable. Most driveways in the country are a mess. A four wheel drive is needed to make an escape.
The mail is being delivered again....two days in a row. Everything is slowly going back to a normal routine. Spring is only a few weeks away.
Tommy and I have had an odd few weeks. When we were out one day, he bought me a pot of tulips that were just beginning to bloom. I was delighted. They were on the verge of opening up, so we were able to enjoy them for a long time. I placed them in the living room. It was a pretty contrast with the snow coming down hard and heavy on the other side of the window.
We filled all our bird feeders and placed them so we could see them from our favorite chairs. Within a day our feeders were filled with Juckos, 2 pair of cardinals, finches and sparrows. A pair of doves occasionally join the group.
It has snowed softly and at times steady most of the day. The atmosphere we have had this past week or so has been very healing for us. We needed this time. We needed the snow, we needed the flowers and we needed and received the healing we sought. It has been a memory making winter, for more reasons than I want to recall.
