Not Everything I Read on Facebook is True...Shock!! Shock!!

There are days when I like to play.  If I read something creative on Facebook or Pinterest and it sounds like fun or looks delicious...nine times out of ten I will try to recreate the idea.  Most of the time,  things I try work. Unfortunately, some ideas are harder to achieve than others. In fact there have been several 'bright ideas' that failed miserably...I still do not know why. 

 My newest failure happened about an hour ago.  For the past few days,  I have read several articles about blowing soap bubbles and watching the bubbles freeze. To me,  this seemed like a wonderful idea. I thought it would be awesome to watch a beautiful four inch round bubble fly high up in the air, catch reflections of the sunlight and then crystallize. I wanted photos of this sight.  I wanted to watch my grandchildren's eyes light up with delight as we tried and created the frozen bubbles.  From experience I have learned to try the idea out first before I drag the grandkids into the mix. High hopes can get dashed all too easy and fast.

This morning the weather was extremely cold, ten degrees to be exact with wind chills below zero. A gusty wind blew up to twenty miles an hour.  It was perfect weather to blow ice bubbles, or should have been. However, somewhere between the article and my bubble wand I found failure!  

I waddled outside bound from head to toe in all my winter clothes;  accompanied by a 'magic wand bubble blower' I bought last summer, in case we had  little people for company on a hot day in August.  The wand worked and produced huge bubbles that were gorgeous, reflecting azure blues and various shades of pink. The bubbles were quickly blown in multiple directions  until they exploded in the air.  Not one bubble froze.  Not one bubble attempted to freeze.  I returned to the warmth of my home...in about one minute's time span to find the reason this easy project failed.   Immediately,  I looked up the experiment on my computer.  No one knew for sure what went wrong.  However, a father in Denver tried this last weekend.  He and his kids had to hold their 'bubble' on their wand for at least a minute before the bubbles  began to freeze ...sort of.  I do not remember him saying the bubbles ever crystallized.  This is where my adventure became troublesome...catching a bubble was next to impossible.  Holding the bubble on the wand for a minute was not going to happen with the wind gusts we had.  I could only corral one bubble to stay on for 20 seconds...if that.  Not enough time for the bubble to freeze but more than enough  time for me to get an earache. 

I am not giving up exactly, I really want those photos. I also would like to share this memory with Jacy and Logan.  It would be a memory maker and something they could share with their children in years to come.   All I have to do is wait for the earache to stop and the wind to die down and then maybe...just maybe I can watch a bubble freeze.  Hmmmmm...that is not asking too much from Missouri weather!!  All She has to do is cooperate for once in Her existence.  Again I say...Hmmmmmm.

It is That Time of Year...Again

   Today is the sixth of January and I still have not decided what I want to accomplish  this year.  I am one of those people who always...ALWAYS has a plan and a list of some kind.  I also have a 'Plan B' in case the first plan fails... Things are different this year. I cannot decide what I want to accomplish in 2015.  I can't decide where I want to go or what I want to do when I get there. I can't even decide what I want for breakfast!  For me that is pitiful and a little scary.

   Tommy is no help. He never has a plan.  He is easy going and never worries about the future or what we need to accomplish.  He will wake up some morning and have a brilliant idea for the day or the week; and off we will go on some unforeseen adventure. I really do enjoy those days and the spontaneity that accompanies those adventures. I wish they happened more often.   Once, years ago, we woke up one morning and decided to go look for wild horses in southern Missouri. It turned out to be a good adventure.  I am not 100% sure we found the wild horses. I lean more toward some farmer's herd of horses is what we probably found and photographed.  However, there is a chance we really did find those elusive horses. Regardless, it was a good adventure and in my mind those horses were indeed wild.

   Perhaps we will just 'wing it' this year. Instead of making plans we will let life happen and see what the results will be.  Even typing those words makes my palms sweat.  I will have to have a little list on the side...just in case.  I hate to waste a day. To me if I do not accomplish at least one thing in a day,  I have wasted 24 hours of my life that I will never get back.  That statement might be a bit anal retentive but in my case it is true.

   We shall see how the new year plays out. I am excited about it. That much I know for sure. I am pretty sure my year includes more writing, trying to master watercolor painting once again, raising chickens and container gardening.  And then there is always... oh yeah, here we go---come on plans. I have my journal ready. By the way, what took you so long?

                                                

2014...In Review...Part Two...

Part two...

There are some things that are necessary to do before brain surgery and a trip to the Chocolate Factory was  at the top of the list.


There were also trips to her doctor's office followed by more trips to various other doctor's,  the pharmacist, the gas station and last but not least WalMart.  All too soon it was time to go to the hospital. July 22 finally rolled around faster than I anticipated.

                  

 

 

Lisa's surgery was a little over five hours.  As soon as she was brought back to recovery we were allowed to see her.  However,  she was in pain, sick to her stomach and needed rest. The doctor talked to us, saying the surgery went fine. He also said the tumor was being sent to the pathologist and he would let us know as soon as he found out anything. He removed 95% of the tumor.  We checked in on her hourly. The first night Lisle and I returned home.  Finding a place to sleep in a hospital is almost impossible--however I will save that rant for another blog.   We were back before daylight. When we arrived in ICU Lisa had a roommate. Lisa was still sick but her color looked better. Her roommate was a doozie!!  She gave everyone Hell.  I was glad when Lisa finally could leave Intensive Care and go to a step down unit.

 

I think this photo was taken on Thursday after surgery on Tuesday. The doctor released Lisa to go home late Friday afternoon. I thought I would have a panic attack. In my mind it was too soon.  Once again I was proved wrong. Lisa's recovery was remarkable considering her type of surgery.  The tumor was located on a major blood  vessel in the brain that controls, speech, personality, memory and temperament.  We were so afraid  we the would loose the essence of the Lisa we loved. We didn't... she was fine. She was and is still Lisa and for that we are all eternally grateful.

 

 

 While Lisa recovered,  she received many calls, texts, cards and flowers.  From Melodi and Lacey she received a box of 'sunshine'. Every thing in the box was related to the color yellow... the color of sunshine. Lisa was like a little girl when she opened the box. It was literally Christmas in July.  Many rough days were in her future. At times,  she felt horrible. After a week or ten days she began to feel better. In fact she was making remarkable progress.  Then the doctor called; informing  her it was cancer.  Fear erupted in my heart all over again. The doctor referred her to the best doctor and cancer center in Tampa.  It was time for Lisa to get her hair cut. It was chopped from surgery so it had to be shaped up all over. A buzz cut seemed like the best course of action.  In the back of all our minds was the fact she would have to have chemo and radiation.

 

 

 

Once again we were wrong. All our fears were eased when we reached Tampa and talked with her doctor who ironically was born in Iran...a political enemy of the United States.  When I heard this I felt a little nudge inside and a warm smile saying, "Surprise...you never know where help will come from...enjoy"   Her doctor is a smart lovely woman and told Lisa she had a long life to live. She said, "If you have to have brain cancer this is the one to have.  It is slow growing and will probably never grow back in your lifetime. We will keep an eye on it with a checkup every six months." Words failed us.  Lisa was going to live a long amazing life.

 

  Lisa is a walking miracle.  Her healing was  a blessing and a mixture of wonderful doctors and lots of prayer from family and friends causing the end results she received. I flew home the following Saturday.  What did I learn from all this?  I learned that people are stronger than we think we are.  I saw bravery in Lisa and Lisle's face every day.  I saw Lisa heal faster than I thought was possible. I saw my worst fears fall apart before my eyes. I learned that sometimes my wonderful, coffee inflated brain forgets I am not in charge of the world.  I learned I do not know what will happened in the long run. I am like everyone else just along for the ride. I also learned I am wrong a lot. I need to celebrate more and worry less.

 

The rest of the year was busy and for the most part very good. Melodi and Lacey came home for Thanksgiving and that was such an amazing time. Tommy and I packed up our queen size air mattress went to Tami's and stayed.  We didn't want to miss a thing.                                                        

 

 

 

Christmas and New Year's was fun. We spent our time with the grandkids and that is always an adventure waiting to happen. So why was I so anxious for 2014 to be over?  In hindsight it was a good year. Everything bad that could have happened...didn't. I think I need to practice 'thankfulness' much more this year. Live in the moment and not in my imagination. That last statement will be a battle for me because I love my imagination!  I am seldom bored. However, I will try to focus more on the positives in life.  The world has enough negativity without my two cents.  Hmmm...but then there is Obama and the Senate and ISIS...I have my work cut out for me.  Happy New Year and Welcome 2015.  I will do my best to be better at living with a thankful heart.

 

 

First sunrise of 2015...a year full of promise. 

2014 in Review...Part One...

Personally, I am very glad 2014 is almost over. Unfortunately that is my negative voice talking three octaves louder than my thankful voice. I am a blessed woman. I know it, I believe it however, I do not always remember this fact. I allowed negativity to take root and grow in my mind this past year. That is one mindset  I intend to change in 2015.

The photo to the left is on my 65th birthday.  Tommy had turned 66 three days before.  We were on our way to dinner.  We weathered a horrible storm on his birthday.  My day was more calm.  However, we enjoyed both days, making a few memories to add to other birthday's we have shared.  It was difficult for me to wrap my mind around my new age. Mentally I didn't feel any different than I did when I turned 40, however my knees and back would beg to differ with me on that statement.  Over the next few months I accepted my age. I liked who I was becoming.  Years ago those words would have never entered my mind. I can now look at old photos of me and think 'I was pretty' no one could have made me believe it back then.  For the first time in my life I wanted to do something I swore I would never ever do. I wanted to see  how much grey hair was hiding under the color 'almond toast'. By Christmas I would know the answer to that question.

Our birthday's weren't the only milestones in our family.  Tami's birthday was on the 11th.  The photo shown was taken at a book signing in Columbia a few months later. Over the course of the past few years, Tami has become a published author with four books in print and two other books soon to be published. She is amazing!! Tommy and I are proud of her and for her. Tami lives her life out loud and to the fullest.

                                                 


Logan, our grandson,  became a two digit number on his birthday, April 1st.  His home was packed with feisty, funny little boys accompanied by a huge 'Mind Craft' cake. 

 On October 30th Jacy turned 13. We have a teenager in our immediate family for the first time in twenty two years!! Jacy was born on Melodi Rae's 22nd birthday. It is hard to believe 'our baby girl'  is 35.

                             My two favorite teenagers!!!
                         

                                         

                              I love this photo. Melodi was baking!


Then came May. Tommy and I received a phone call from Lisa. It was a conversation that literally knocked  the breath out of us. Lisa told us she  had a brain tumor. There was more than a good chance it was cancer. The doctors could not be positive without a pathology report however they were preparing for the worst, hoping for the best AND they were going  to operate.  I had known for several months something was wrong in Florida. I just did not know what it was.  Never, ever did I suspect a brain tumor.  Without a doubt Lisa is the strongest woman I know.  She was about to graduate from college in June. All our family  had bought airline tickets to attend. Lisa was adamant that she would graduate and we would go to the Florida Keys to celebrate...and we did.  How she kept her mind on her studies I will never understand...she just did it!  Our family arrived within days of each other.  Mikey Salisbury flew down with Tami. She made us laugh until we literally cried. Her stories of Mardis Gras were priceless.  Everyone  had a good time and the thought of cancer was rammed  as far back in our minds as it would allow. We all came to Florida to celebrate Lisa and celebrate Lisa we did.


                                  

                     

My favorite photo of the graduation. That is a million dollar smile...

                     
                                             

One quick shot before we leave to attend Lisa's graduation

                                                    
                            
                 

At Lisa's Graduation Dinner

 

 

                                                     

                                     Melodi and Lacey...

                                         
                                                

                                  
                                         Key West ...

                             
                                           

                                
                                   Mile Marker 90 miles to Cuba..

                                   
                                Lynn, Lisle's sister, went to Key West with us
                            We had a blast!!!


All too soon it was time to return home. Reality set in once again. It was days of 'hurry up and wait'. My imagination turned rabid.  Everything I read about her type of brain tumor said she had from three to ten years to live. I could not accept those words. I could not imagine a life without Lisa. Fear dominated my days and nights.  The doctor finally called to tell Lisa when the operation would be...July 22.  I arrived at Ft. Meyers on July 19th.  To be continued... 

                                

I Have Never Fought in a War BUT I Have Served Several Tours of Last Minute Christmas Shopping...

It is true, I have never fought in an actual war but I have served several tours of duty in last minute Christmas shopping. I have engaged in this act for the past several years and that is close enough to war for me. 

Every year Tommy and I vow that we will not wait until the week before Christmas to do our shopping.  And every year we wake up a week or ten days  before Christmas with a naked Christmas tree in our living room. A tree in dire need of presents underneath its fake branches, and a head throbbing realization that Santa isn't bringing squat if we don't go shopping. 

It is always a surprise when we hear it is Dec. 12th.  That means we only have twelve days until Christmas.  It also  means we need a list, sizes, ideas, a large cup of coffee and a plan of attack.  It  means we are out there in the trenches with all the other more organized Christmas shoppers who already have their bags full and look at us with pity.  We have that 'deer in the headlights look' and the other shoppers know that we are late in joining the war.

The roads are packed with shoppers in a hurry for the 'blue light special'.  The highway patrol are vigilant and everywhere  as we are forced to drive along at a reasonable speed.  I am riding 'shotgun' and very anxious to move a little faster because I know we are missing out on bargains.  I ask Tommy to 'Hurry up'.  Once again he goes deaf and obeys the speed limit.

Today is day three of our units plan to 'Conquer Christmas Shopping' ASAP!  One of us is AWOL...still asleep. The other one, me,  is about to make enough noise the raise the dead, in hopes of waking up Sgt. Carter.  If all goes according to plan we should be in town by noon, the mission should be completed by 4 and home by 6 p.m.  If we do not make it home by six, something has gone wrong. Please call in the reserves and make sure they are loaded with money.  Over and out.

Missing Carol Shea...

Carol Shea died a year ago today.  Not a day goes by without Carol darting in and out of my memories. With all my heart I wish she were still alive. It is hard to fathom,  I will probably never have another 'best friend' in my lifetime.  It takes years to fine tune a friendship like we had. Years to be comfortable sharing your life with someone---warts and all. Years of sharing adventures, secrets, grief, laughter and the craziness we called our lives.  I probably do not have enough time left or the inclination to have another 'best friend.'  I am blessed with Tommy. He is my soul mate and my dearest friend ever...no one comes close.  However,  he is my husband and there were times I needed Carol to let me vent about him. I told Carol  things no one else will ever know. She did the same with me.  I knew her ex-husband without ever having met Jim. I knew her life story.  She carried our secrets to her grave and that is where they would stay...

If only Carol had a 'grave'.  She was cremated and her ashes are now in Texas.  Years ago Carol convinced me cremation was the way to leave this world. It was cheaper, and I wouldn't be stuck in a dark,wet hole. Neither option appealed to me however, Tommy and I finally decided on cremation too.  A funeral is so expensive, however after this past year I am not so sure anymore about cremation.  There have been many days when I wished I could go and sit down by her tombstone and talk to her.  There is something comforting in the act of placing flowers on a grave. A grave is final but not erased from existence the way it is with cremation. All that is left of the physical body are ashes to be placed in a vase or thrown in the ocean. It is no longer a certainty for me...

I was Christmas shopping, on line yesterday,  when I stumbled upon  Carol's Christmas present.  If she were alive today I would have bought it yesterday for her.   It's called the "Crazy Cat Lady Action Figure".  It is a tall blonde doll in a ratty bathrobe with six or seven cats hanging around her. I laughed when I saw this doll. Carol would have too. I think she would have bought it for her sister Punky.  It would have eventually been known as the year of the Crazy Cat Lady Christmas dolls.  We would have had many a laugh over these presents.  Carol always referred to herself, when we talked about the future, as "being the old lady sitting on the porch with a shot gun and forty million cats running around."   I could see it then and I can see it now.

In fact the last conversation we had was about those damn cats. She had been admitted to the hospital in Jefferson City. For weeks she had been getting sicker and sicker.  In fact we had at least two arguments because I wanted to take her to the doctor or emergency room  and she refused to go. On her last morning she called me about 6:30 in the morning...crying.  She was being admitted to the hospital because she was throwing up blood. Carol was crying as  she made me promise to take care of her cats. In my usual tactful way I said, "Fuck those cats!! Carol you are too sick to worry about them!" Through tears she said, "Promise me Vicky...promise me... you have to do this!  I love you and Tommy."  I told her we loved her and I would take care of those damn cats. I heard her laugh and then she hung up the phone. She died two days later.

I miss you Carol Shea...

A Glimpse of Christmas at Our House... for my Daughters

Good morning girls, I woke up thinking about each of you today. I miss you all  like  crazy.  Since we can not be  together at Christmas this year, I decided to photograph our home for you all to see.  I wanted you to have a glimpse once more of Christmas at Mama and Daddy's.   Girls, before anyone says anything...the walls are not this color yellow. They are a soft  'sunshine yellow'.  The camera I have now is on its last shot...literally.  I hope Santa brings me a new camera for Christmas.

Once again, I decided to 'downsize' this year, just like I have tried  to 'downsize' for the past five years in every area of our lives.  Instead of one 7 ft. tree we now have a 4 foot tree in the living room and 3,  2 foot trees scattered around the house.  It was not supposed to go this way, however 'trees' kept following me home each time I made a shopping trip to town. When it comes to 'downsizing'...I am a work in progress.

I was very proud of us when we decided to donate our two large trees to a thrift shop in town. I asked the owner to make sure these trees went to a family with little children.  She assured me they would.  I came home and put up our little four foot tree. That took three minutes! I ran out of room for our lifetime of decorations, starting with our wedding, which was the day after Christmas. I could not leave out any decoration.  I felt like if I did, I was almost deleting a memory from our past. 

About that time,  I remembered the small tree I bought for Mama the first year she was in ICF. It was fiber optic and Mama enjoyed the changing colors.  It was the only year she did.  She lost Christmas over the following years.  ICF, in Clinton,  is a beautiful place any time of the year but especially at Christmas. The last few years of Mama's life she was oblivious to Christmas.  I put Mama's tree in Jacy's bedroom. Both Jacy and Mama will approve of this idea.  I probably should have cleaned this room before I made photos. As I look at the messy room I realize  Jacy has outgrown this room.  Soon' One Direction' Posters will be replaced with visions of Paris, France. Her dresser will be painted a different color.  I am pretty sure she wants lime green  or teal walls...me not so much. However it is her room and  she is a teenager now. I imagine some day in the near future we will go through her 'toys' and her movies; packing up her childhood and taking it to Goodwill.  Some things I will keep because of the memories attached.

When I look at the photo I remember all the other people who have called this room theirs before Jacy.  I think at one time or another we have all claimed this room for a period of time. The room was Tommy and my first bedroom in our home. We had the same dresser only it was painted solid white. It had belonged to Mamamae originally. This room has been many, many  different colors of paint; a time or two it was wall papered. Once when Tami was in college, I turned it into a den for video games and teenagers.  It is a room filled with memories dating back to 1978.
                                          
                                 

I still had about two dozen ornaments left. I began to put them around the house. I bought a small tree for Logan's room.  I haven't put it up yet. I am waiting to get inspired to paint his room. It will be done in a Marine Corps theme...hopefully before Christmas.

 My sunroom was the last room to be decorated. I hated to put my 'beach themes' away for winter.  When I am in this room, ideas flow easy.  I do my best writing here.  I have quiet when I want to read or need to write. I also can have it as loud as I desire when I paint or sketch. The Eagles are never far away.

                         

Red is my favorite color.  It speaks of life and emotion, love and blood. I have splashes of red everywhere.  If I were a crayon...I would be red.  Several rooms in my home are painted different shades of yellow.  It is a warm color and looks beautiful when the sun shines through our windows. There is a small glow cast around the room always making me think of sunrise and sand.
               

                           
                            My favorite corner in my home.

                                

 The rest of the house has splashes of Christmas scattered everywhere. In the kitchen is my version of "Elf on a Shelf". Melodi was telling me about their elves and wouldn't you know it... an elf followed me home yesterday:) The coffee  cup,  the elf is dabbling in, has a special meaning. I ordered Lisa and me a pair of these coffee cups when I stayed with them this past summer. Lisa had been through so much. It was one of those days when our family was not in sync with the rest of the world...and that was fine with us. We laughed as we ordered two coffee cups stating  " Don't Talk to Me Until I Have had my Coffee--a splash of Kahlua, then 2 Xanax, A Little Quiet Time, and a Good Cry." It fit us perfectly that day.
                                              
I finally decorated the den.  It has been downsized a lot too but deer season still isn't over.  I can only do so much with a corner full of camo.     

                   

Other photos of the house. Decorations are scattered here and there. You know how we are;  we surround ourselves with photos of  "people we love and places we have been." to quote Lisa.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 I hope these photos provide you all with a feeling of what our home is like during the holidays this year. I still have the smell of cinnamon and vanilla in the air. Pumpkin spice has found a new home here too.  Daddy and I send everyone our love and we wish you all a very Merry Christmas.