Memories in the Making

          I bought my first "memory quilt" in 2001. It was about two months after we came home from our 9,967 mile "road trip" to Alaska.

         On the trip I took pictures of everything!!! If it moved--I took a picture. If it sat still---I took a picture. I wanted to bring as much of the beauty, and all of the memories I could gather, home with me.

         Canada was just as amazing as Alaska.  The farther north we went, the more beautiful Canada became.  Never judge a country by its border towns. It would be almost like buying a book without a cover jacket. A person would have no idea what the book was about until they began reading for themselves. I soon found out that Canada is indeed a beautiful, exciting book.

          While driving through the Canadian Rockies, we saw several black bear and a grizzly bear the size of a Volkswagen.  There were mountain sheep, mountain goats and moose---lots of moose--everywhere.

         The most unexpected adventure was in  the Yukon. We rounded a mountain at daybreak. In the middle of the road was a herd of buffalo.  They were gorgeous, they were huge and they were very unafraid of us. We sat in the car and watched them as they watched us.

        Neither one of us were in any hurry for the encounter to end. I tried to take pictures but it was a little too early in the morning for my 35mm camera to focus and get any good shots. The photos turned out dark, fuzzy and all the buffalo have red eyes. I kept them--I know what they are--I remember and I smile each time I look at the pictures. Soon the buffalo lost interest in us and wandered off to drink water at a near by creek.  We drove around the mountain and faced the most beautiful sunrise.   

          Over the years I have taken hundreds of pictures of sunrises and sunsets.  I am in awe each time I see one.  There is a magical moment, when the sun rises and when it sets. The colors flow differently than at any other time of the day.  Sometimes it is good for the soul to step away from the world and enjoy a magical moment. That morning in the Yukon was no exception. It was a beautiful way to start the day.

          After we arrived in Fairbanks, Alaska we met our friends and immediately took off for another 1,500 mile road trip to Southern Alaska. One of the main sights I wanted to see was "Mt. McKinley" in the Denali  National Park.  Before we reached the Park we stopped at a souvenir shop so I could buy more postcards.

          I struck up a conversation with one of the Indian residents who happened to own the store. He was a "natural story teller". The weather was lousy and we were all cold and damp. I asked him if he thought we would be able to see Mt.McKinley. When he started talking about "the mountain" everyone in the store stopped and listened. He spoke about the mountain like he was talking about a woman.  He personified "her" for us, by telling us that "Denali" means "big one".  That people come from all over the world to see "her" and go home empty handed. He said "she" might show herself to us and she might not. He went on to say that he doubted if we could see her because of the fog at the top of the mountain. Apparently, if you do not see the peak of Mt. McKinley---then you haven't seen the mountain.  I was really disappointed. However, by the  time we reached the park, the sun was shining down below. We spent the day at the park and had a great time.  The top of "the mountain" stayed covered.

       We made camp that night, outside the park. We had  a perfect view of Denali. The men cooked salmon over a camp fire. We were sitting around drinking coffee when Tommy said "Well, look at that".  We all turned and watched as the clouds literally parted from the top of  "the Lady".  She showed us her face for about 30 minutes. Our cameras were clicking away. Smiles abounded and then the clouds descended again. The 'big one" was indeed a lady that day.  We felt very privileged to have seen her. We stayed another 5 days in Alaska.  We went to Valdez and salmon fished in the Alaskan Gulf.  We were surrounded by mountains and faced the Pacific Ocean.  None of us wore a watch, none of us cared what day it was or about the time. We were encased in beauty.

       We had a million adventures on this once in a lifetime trip. 

       Eleven days after we got home, 9-11 happened. And our world changed forever.  I am so thankful we went on this adventure in August instead of September.

       I am also thankful that someone--somewhere made a quilt of our adventure.  I have only seen it once and that was in a mail order catalog that I normally did not receive. As soon as I saw the quilt, I knew it was made for people like us. I paid $300.00 for "her".  She hangs behind my computer and gives me joy and inspiration every day.  This was the first of many quilts that I have bought.  A new hobby in the making--maybe--but a memory keeper for sure.

My Circle of Friends

                  " The Girls in my Circle"

                         sent in an email and revised some by me 

    " When I was little, I used to believe in the concept of one best friend. Then I found out that if you allow your heart to open up, God will show you the best in many friends.

     One friend is needed when your are going through things with your man. Another friend, is needed when you are going through things with your family. Another will sit beside you in the bleachers as you delight in your children and their activities."

     Another friend will drop everything to eat lunch with you at the Olive Garden, even though you are both broke...just to laugh and have a good time... because you both need it.

     One friend will meet your spiritual needs. While another meets your shoe,or black tee shirt fetish.

     Another friend will share your love of books, art and movies and will be your own personal cheerleader.

     But whatever their assignment in your life,or whatever the occasion or day. If you need them---they are there.

     All of this could be wrapped up in one woman, but for many it's wrapped up in several women.

     Some from grade school. Some from high school and college. And many from old jobs. Many are family members....daughters, aunts, cousins, sisters, sisters in law and nieces. People who are adored. Whoever they are and wherever they are, when they are needed, they arrive and stay as long as needed."

     I have been blessed with a large circle of friends. The older I get,the more precious their friendships mean to me.

     I have two friends that I spend alot of time with now that we have all retired, Carol and Punky. We are different as daylight and dark, but friends through and through.

     They collect gems, stones and gold. I collect postcards and books. They live with seven cats---I have two dogs. We go on road trips and I threaten to put them out at least twice before we get home!!! We laugh a lot and cry almost as much. We know too many secrets about each other to ever stop being friends!!!

     Two weeks ago, they gave me a tanzanite necklace, like they wear. It really touched me. Carol told me it is "our own sisterhood stone" And then over a Japanese lunch, they told me the story of tanzanite.

     It was first found in 1967, in Tanzania,Africa. The mines were unsafe. Many people died in the mining process. Finally, the mines were closed. All that is left is what we have now. It is more rare than diamonds and is now referred to as "the first generation stone". It only comes in blue, although at times it looks red. When this stone is gone there won't be anymore.

     The same could be said for friends. Good friends are irreplaceable. When one is gone, no one else can take their place. They should be cherished and shown to the world that they are priceless---just like a good jewel.

    

Love Letters from 1969

            I am a big fan of love. Young love especially. Today, I have had the privilege of reliving memories of how Tommy and I fell in love.

            While cleaning out a closet, I found a box of love letters written by us when he was in the Marines and I was in college.  I spent most of the morning reading, laughing and occasionally crying. 

           To set the stage, Tommy and I fell in love with each other in high school. But were too hot headed and young to really know how to handle it---so thankfully we broke up and didn't see each other for two years. We both needed time to grow up. Time to meet other people and time to miss what we had.

         My father never liked Tommy. I think from the first date, Daddy knew that some day Tommy and I would marry.  He hated that idea.  Tough!!  I can say that now after 41 years, but I sure didn't have the nerve at the time. 

         As I read those letters today, I could tell that it was important to Tommy that Daddy like him.  If I could have talked to that young  man, knowing what I know now, I would have told him to quit worrying about things you have no control over. Daddy's issues were his own. Tommy's feelings for me were real and he has proved it a million times over the years.  Daddy still doesn't like him.....he missed  knowing one hell of a good man--that's his loss.

        I would tell the young Vicky, that you all won't starve to death. You will learn to become a great "country cook".  At the time, I worried a lot about cooking, lets face it....sooner or later you do get hungry!!!  In one of my letters to him, I hinted that I really could not cook.  He was one of eleven kids and grew up cooking. I was an only child, and I grew up playing.  He wrote back, "Don't worry baby, everyone can cook" When I read that, I thought "Hmmmmmm I am not so sure about that" And I was right!!!. But we both had a good sense of humor and  he thought everything I did was funny.  Thank God!!

       We talked in our letters about the future.  We made plans, he wanted a small family.  I wanted a big family--seven kids at least.  After the first child, I changed my mind about that---three would be fine.  If I didn't have a clue about cooking, I knew even less about raising a baby!! But I had Tommy, I had good gut instincts and I had a deep love for my daughter. If I could, I would tell that young mother--to relax, enjoy each moment for they are over all too soon. I would tell her that she will have three remarkable little girls that grow up to be wonderful women.  I would pat her on the back and say "good job--now enjoy".

       We were going to ramble around and never settle down.  We were in the Marines his last two years and moved twice. First to Georgia and then to Yuma, Arizona where Lisa was born.
Over the course of the next ten years, we moved sixteen times. We finally settled in Missouri because Lisa asked us not to move any more. We had already changed her school three times and she hated moving.  I would tell "Tommy and Vicky" that they did the right thing. Moving and always starting over cemented their relationship. Buying an old fixer upper with six acres,sealed the deal. "They made a million memories" and that was something they both wanted. "They" wanted adventure....and they certainly have had that.

       It wasn't always a bed of roses. There were some rough spots that had to be worked out. That is life. After reading all the letters and thinking about how young we were and the goals we wanted, I would say it has been one heck of a ride. We started with $78 every two weeks, and a $100 allotment...and alot of love and passion.  We shot for the moon----and we got it.

      Once again, it doesn't take much to make me happy---but I does take Tommy.
       

          

Missouri Winters After Retirement---or What to Wear When it is -2!!!

          I have never really been a "fashion bug". I always dressed appropriately for work. Meaning jeans and a top without buttons down the  front, in case I was involved in a take down--I didn't want my clothes  ripped off--or at least ripped off easily,since I worked in a mental health facility, where the unexpected was the norm.

 Casual and comfortable have been my code for buying clothes. I do have to admit to having a strong addiction for long sleeved black tee shirts. I have seldom seen one, that did not follow me home--somehow. 

        However, all that has changed since I have retired. Jeans have been traded for sweats and leggings, unless I am going to town. Flannels and sweatshirts abound.  And I am now the proud owner of my own set of Dickies. No longer do I wear Tommy's---I have my own. Thank God!!!!  I go everywhere in them, and don't think a thing about it. It is freezing cold, snow on the ground and a wind chill way below zero. Why on earth didn't I think like this before? 

      If a photo speaks a thousands words ....this photo should speak volumes and be good for many a laugh!!  This is me--post retirement, and I couldn't be happier. My dogs Sandy and Sabella, like the new me. They spend most of their time in the house with us.

      The wood stove keeps us toasty. A good book makes my day, and the coffee is always just a minute away from being made. Life is good. It really doesn't take much to make me happy.

 

The Happiest Man I Have Ever Known

          When I first started to write this morning, I intended to write about the snow we received yesterday, The wind chills that are below zero. And the fact, for the first time in twenty years, I don't have to go anywhere I don't want to go. That is one of the perks of being retired!! 

         Although for selfish reasons, I  was a little ticked when the snow plow came down our road before noon. And not once but twice!!!  When I worked, our road would be one of the very last to be cleaned. I would slip and slide to work--hanging on to the wheel for dear life. I should be thankful--and I am,but it sure would have been nice to have this kind of service twenty years ago...when I needed it!!!

         The snow storm wasn't really what I wanted to write about. I wanted to write about our friend of 30 years, Ben. Ever since I first met Ben, I have told Tommy that Ben is the happiest person I have ever met. Thirty years has not changed that opinion. 

         Ben is not wealthy by any means. But he has something better than wealth--he has contentment.  His home is always open to people and it is generally blessed with visitors, who are in and out, all day long. Most drop by just to sit by the wood stove, drink some coffee and shoot the bull.  There is always laughter, jokes and sometimes a card game that will last into the early hours of the next day. If you are hungry, Ben can always find something to fix.

         There are days when Tommy and Ben cook fish, or chili and make enough to feed whoever comes to the door.  I try to make an appearance on those days for sure.

         Ben is happiest, sitting on the Missouri River fishing. He can fish all day and into the night easily.  I am a four hour fisherman, so sometimes we have to take two vehicles, or I just meet them somewhere.  Most of the time Ben, Tommy and whoever else is fishing that day, go without me.  And that is usually a good thing.  The first time Tommy, Ben and I went fishing, I took my purse with me. Ben really didn't see why I needed a purse to fish---and as I was slipping down a muddy bank, and threw my purse at Ben, he really couldn't see why I needed that thing.  At that moment, I totally agreed with him. Now I take a fanny pack---loaded with all the things from my purse!!!

         Everyone should be blessed with a friend like Ben. He is always the same--and in a world where everything changes on a dime or a whim or even a bullet, it is comforting to know that there are places you can go and enjoy yourself.

        The sign on the front of Ben's small house, was made by a good friend and says "Ben's Do Drop Inn" The truth if I ever heard it.

       

2011 The Year of Learning

           I have started 2011 with my annual list of resolutions.  First on my list, is to make 2011 the year of learning for me. I am very excited about this.  If I had my way, I would be a "professional student".  To me it is as wonderful accomplishment to learn something new---at my age or any age for that matter.

          Since my computer Hal, is a huge part of the learning process and at times my nemesis, I intend to start with him. I want to know exactly how to maneuver about on the computer easily. For me this is usually a battle. Calling my daughter Tami, for help,sending out emails when I get stuck and buying books--a lot of books. I enjoy the process, but the frustration when I do it wrong is very annoying. Just because I get it right one time does not mean it will happen again. Sometimes I think I am just lucky.  As I was when I just added  this picture. I am having trouble right now getting past the picture to write. Well, no problem NOW the PICTURE just disappeared.

        When and if I find the picture, I think I will close and reread the chapter on posting photos!!!  I may have a little fit...drink a cup of coffee,dance a jig or whatever it takes to "learn" something today!!!

         Just think this is only my first resolution---I have about 40 to go. I won't bore you with all of them. But the second one is "loose weight"---surely, it can't be any harder than learning computers!!!! What a lie--I have been trying to loose weight for 10 years. Ugh!!  I am a work in progress.  Now let's see if I can find that picture......

2010 Was for Me, the Year of Reconcilation and Reconnection

           When I think back on the year 2010, the first phrase to comes to mind is "roller coaster ride". For indeed that is how it felt to me. Emotions were either extremely high, or low and anxious.

           Tommy's brother Jim died. That was a loss for everyone. He will be greatly missed. There was alot of sickness on my husbands side of the family. I am amazed at how strong people can be, in the the worst of situations. Each family was faced with something scary, and demanding this year.  Each challenge was met head on---with love, determination and prayer,

          My personal challenge started the weekend of Father's Day. Melodi, Jennifer and I decided to surprise my father with a visit to Kentucky. It is about a 5 hour drive and a little over 320 miles. It was pretty much going to be a turn around trip, so I rode with them. Now here is where I need to interject a few things about my personality. I am the type of person who NEVER goes on a trip without a list of things that I will need and I check them off before I ever leave the house. This comes from the past 4 years when my mother was dying from Alzheimer's. I tried to go home once a month to visit Mama and rest Daddy. I never knew what I would find, so I always packed much more than I would need.  However, Mama had passed away and I decided I would just pack enough for the weekend. Big mistake!!

         As soon as I saw Daddy, I knew he wasn't feeling all that great. His eyesight had been failing him and it was hard for him to see and take care of himself  like he should. He told us that he had decided to go to ICF and live. They have a side of the hospital, for people who can take care of themselves but just need a little supervision. He would have a room and bath of his own. And most of all, Daddy wanted to go there.. He was just waiting for the room to get ready.

        I knew I couldn't go off and leave him. Mel and Jenn had to get back to work on Monday. So I decided to stay.  Tommy understood when I called and told him---and that was a good thing.

       I checked out what all I had brought with me....not much of anything!!!  Not enough clothes, not enough meds, no car and worst of all no book!!! Things always have a way of working out. Johnny Wray left his truck for me to drive, so after a trip to WalMart I was set up pretty good. Thank God for WalMart and debit cards!!!!

        I went up to ICF to see when the room would be ready and they couldn't tell me exactly. Probably after the 4 th of July. Hmmmmmm.

        Daddy and I have always had a "rocky" relationship. We love each other but we drive each other nuts!! There have been alot of "secrets", unanswered questions and just down right lies over the years. Hard feelings like scabs on a wound that has not bee allowed to heal. That's us!!!  Scabs, wounds and all!!

       I wasn't sure how things were going to go between us. I was so scared and anxious. We had always had someone there to buffer us. Now it was just us. We aren't kids. I was 61 and Daddy was 86. It was time to make up , play nice and settle out differences.  If we didn't do it now--when would we ever do it?

      One of the things I have always been afraid of, is that Daddy would die mad at me. That would have broken my heart.

      We found common ground. Since we are both early risers, we would be up by 4:30 drinking coffee and talking. Sometimes we would go out on the patio and watch the sun rise. I would fix him a good "country" breakfast. Then later we might drive out to Shiloh where his grandparents are buried and just drive the back roads. Daddy telling me stories of when he was a kid. I enjoyed those rides and so did Daddy.

       The Farmers Market was open in Clinton and I was there every day they were open. Daddy said he wanted all the old fashioned country cooking he could get before he went to ICF. I was more than happy to oblige.  We dined in the true Southern style. Green beans, corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes and corn bread with ice tea and some kind of chocolate dessert.  We loved it.

      At night we sat on the patio and drank ice tea. I listened as Daddy relived his life to me. He filled in all the "holes,"  He answered any question I asked and I learned so much more than I ever expected to know about my life----and about my father.  Some nights I had trouble sleeping----I was on information overload. But I will always be glad for the time we had together. It turned into a month. And a month was needed to rehash 50 years.

This is one of my favorite pictures of 2010. Daddy and I are at his church. Shiloh. We had just had an argument because I didn't park where he wanted me too. So......we were both mad for the first part of the sermon. And then I thought how blessed I was to be there with him. I also didn't drive to suit him on the way home and I burnt the corn bread for lunch. That's just us!!!  It was a good day--all things considered. And I will forever be glad for my unexpected trip home. Reconnection and reconcilation....that was my summer.