2010 Was for Me, the Year of Reconcilation and Reconnection

           When I think back on the year 2010, the first phrase to comes to mind is "roller coaster ride". For indeed that is how it felt to me. Emotions were either extremely high, or low and anxious.

           Tommy's brother Jim died. That was a loss for everyone. He will be greatly missed. There was alot of sickness on my husbands side of the family. I am amazed at how strong people can be, in the the worst of situations. Each family was faced with something scary, and demanding this year.  Each challenge was met head on---with love, determination and prayer,

          My personal challenge started the weekend of Father's Day. Melodi, Jennifer and I decided to surprise my father with a visit to Kentucky. It is about a 5 hour drive and a little over 320 miles. It was pretty much going to be a turn around trip, so I rode with them. Now here is where I need to interject a few things about my personality. I am the type of person who NEVER goes on a trip without a list of things that I will need and I check them off before I ever leave the house. This comes from the past 4 years when my mother was dying from Alzheimer's. I tried to go home once a month to visit Mama and rest Daddy. I never knew what I would find, so I always packed much more than I would need.  However, Mama had passed away and I decided I would just pack enough for the weekend. Big mistake!!

         As soon as I saw Daddy, I knew he wasn't feeling all that great. His eyesight had been failing him and it was hard for him to see and take care of himself  like he should. He told us that he had decided to go to ICF and live. They have a side of the hospital, for people who can take care of themselves but just need a little supervision. He would have a room and bath of his own. And most of all, Daddy wanted to go there.. He was just waiting for the room to get ready.

        I knew I couldn't go off and leave him. Mel and Jenn had to get back to work on Monday. So I decided to stay.  Tommy understood when I called and told him---and that was a good thing.

       I checked out what all I had brought with me....not much of anything!!!  Not enough clothes, not enough meds, no car and worst of all no book!!! Things always have a way of working out. Johnny Wray left his truck for me to drive, so after a trip to WalMart I was set up pretty good. Thank God for WalMart and debit cards!!!!

        I went up to ICF to see when the room would be ready and they couldn't tell me exactly. Probably after the 4 th of July. Hmmmmmm.

        Daddy and I have always had a "rocky" relationship. We love each other but we drive each other nuts!! There have been alot of "secrets", unanswered questions and just down right lies over the years. Hard feelings like scabs on a wound that has not bee allowed to heal. That's us!!!  Scabs, wounds and all!!

       I wasn't sure how things were going to go between us. I was so scared and anxious. We had always had someone there to buffer us. Now it was just us. We aren't kids. I was 61 and Daddy was 86. It was time to make up , play nice and settle out differences.  If we didn't do it now--when would we ever do it?

      One of the things I have always been afraid of, is that Daddy would die mad at me. That would have broken my heart.

      We found common ground. Since we are both early risers, we would be up by 4:30 drinking coffee and talking. Sometimes we would go out on the patio and watch the sun rise. I would fix him a good "country" breakfast. Then later we might drive out to Shiloh where his grandparents are buried and just drive the back roads. Daddy telling me stories of when he was a kid. I enjoyed those rides and so did Daddy.

       The Farmers Market was open in Clinton and I was there every day they were open. Daddy said he wanted all the old fashioned country cooking he could get before he went to ICF. I was more than happy to oblige.  We dined in the true Southern style. Green beans, corn on the cob, sliced tomatoes and corn bread with ice tea and some kind of chocolate dessert.  We loved it.

      At night we sat on the patio and drank ice tea. I listened as Daddy relived his life to me. He filled in all the "holes,"  He answered any question I asked and I learned so much more than I ever expected to know about my life----and about my father.  Some nights I had trouble sleeping----I was on information overload. But I will always be glad for the time we had together. It turned into a month. And a month was needed to rehash 50 years.

This is one of my favorite pictures of 2010. Daddy and I are at his church. Shiloh. We had just had an argument because I didn't park where he wanted me too. So......we were both mad for the first part of the sermon. And then I thought how blessed I was to be there with him. I also didn't drive to suit him on the way home and I burnt the corn bread for lunch. That's just us!!!  It was a good day--all things considered. And I will forever be glad for my unexpected trip home. Reconnection and reconcilation....that was my summer.