About Mama...Happy Mother's Day

This is one of my favorite photos taken after Mama was admitted into ICF. We waited as long as we could before she had to be admitted to the hospital. The Alzheimer's had become uncontrollable and Daddy could not take care of her by himself.  My parents moved back to Kentucky when the symptoms of her disease were no longer deniable. I hated every minute she was gone. But in the long run my mother was in the best facility I have ever seen. It was the right move for both of them.

 I was working my retirement job and could only come home once a month and stay for about a week...depending on how Daddy acted--- unless she was in another hospital for medical reasons then I stayed with her.  I had FMLA and I worked a lot of overtime to make sure I had plenty of time on the books.  

In this photo Mama still had her smile. She was loosing her words and couldn't walk by herself anymore but her beautiful smile was still there. She still loved me in this photo. I can see it in her smile and eyes. Alzheimer's is a hard disease to understand. Mama knew me during this time however, the baby doll, who was forever in her arms was a real baby to her.

Eventually she did not know me  but one thing was for certain...she liked me. I could always make her laugh, or smile, or look at me with questioning eyes...until the last few years. By then all her emotions were gone. No one could do anything to help her. The essence of Betty Humphreys was gone. My world would never be the same. 

 In this photo we were laughing because I plopped down beside her wheelchair for the photo and then I couldn't get up. Several pictures were taken while I was in the process of rolling around on the floor in an effort to stand back up.  She thought that was funny...she was right.

Mama always saw the good in other people. I am afraid I did not inherit that trait. Some people just tick me off to no end...I got that from John O.  I remember when they lived in Missouri during the O.J. Simpson trial.  Mama was the only person who thought he was innocent.  She watched the trial from morning until night. When the verdict was read she applauded.  Then she looked at me and smiled saying, "I told you so"!!  I was furious. I could not believe what my ears were hearing.

I often wonder what she would have thought of President Obama. I am inclined to believe she would have disliked him but I wouldn't swear to it. She saw the world with kinder eyes than I do. I often teased her about, 'taking off your rose colored glasses Betty Lou and see things like they really are...'  She would laugh and reply, "I like what I see in my world...thank you very much."

The girls and I still have days when we talk in 'Mama Quotes' and in her soft southern speech.  It is hard to believe this pristine lady of all southern ladies cheated at rummy.  We loved to play cards with her...and she cheated all the time.  It was so unlike her that we thought it was hilarious. We would catch her cheating and then listen and laugh as she tried to explain her 'creative' way of card playing.

Ironically, the most valuable lesson on honesty I learned from Miss Betty.  I was about 13 when I accompanied her to the grocery store.  After she paid for the groceries she put the receipt and change in her purse.  When we got home, she checked her change and the store owner had overpaid her by seven cents.  She grabbed her purse and told me to get in the car. I wanted to know why. I remember her saying, "They overpaid me seven cents. I have to take this back. It is not my money."  I looked at her and said, "Mama it is only seven cents...it doesn't matter."  Well, it did to Mama. It wasn't her seven cents and we took it back. That made a big impression on me. It was the best lesson on honesty I ever witnessed.  If it happened to me today, I would do the same thing.

Mama was quirky, funny without ever knowing it, loving and very forgiving.  I loved her beyond measure.

Happy Mother's Day...you will forever be missed.