Introvert? Why Yes I am... Thank You for Asking...

  There is nothing wrong with being an introvert. It is who I am. It is simply a piece of the puzzle that helps create my personality.  I do not think this character trait could be changed for any length of time.  It is in my DNA.  I come from a long, long line of introverts....and that is fine with me. However, this trait, like a rare rock, can be honed and polished to become a little more user friendly. It takes time...lots of time and effort to succeed with this challenge.  Sometimes it is better to leave the rock alone.  Allowing people to be who they really are is better than having a one world, universal personality.

   I need space.  I need quiet and I need alone time.  Without these three factors in my life, I soon become miserable, exhausted and extremely anxious.  Ironically, I married an extrovert...and what a journey we have had. Tommy has cracked my shell  of anxiousness, and in return I have created a home he loves. Tommy and I are more comfortable in our home than anywhere else; all guards are dropped.  In our  home,  he  no longer has to be a people pleaser, a buffer or the center of attention.  We bring out the best in each other. I am his resting place. He is my net and catches me when I fall. Our isolation is tentative;  sooner or later,  we have to walk out the back door and into the public arena. I may have to take a Xanax before the day is over.  He shines for awhile and never shuts up...people pleasing all over the place. I go find something else to do.  Usually a quiet corner to people watch and take notes, or I wander around by myself. I catch up with him later.

   I am at ease talking to anyone in a one on one situation. However, add four or five strangers to this little circle and I begin to back peddle; inch by inch until I am out of the group and breathing once again. I like people but they wear me out. They are too much stimuli for me at times. Needy people drain every ounce of energy I have.  I enjoy listening to other people talk, laugh and have fun. I join in and have a great time for awhile...then when I arrive home,  I need some alone time to regroup...and probably a nap.

    My mind is a very busy place on a quiet day; add a throng of people and I am running on empty before I know it. Writing is a perfect profession for an introvert.  The Internet is a lifeline for people like me.  We can interact with  people without having to be in the same room with them.  When we have had enough...we can log off.

   Ironically, some of my favorite places to people watch are airports, train stations, mental and medical institutions. I am at ease in these crowed spaces, because I know none of them are coming home with me. I can walk away and become invisible in the  crowd once again. That is my ace in the hole, being able to walk away...and be invisible.

   Hell for me,  would be giving a speech to a crowd of people,  or having to feed and entertain thirty people at one time, for an extended stay.  Writing those words makes my heart rate jump.

   I am blessed with a wonderful supportive group of friends and family.  We are filled with little quirks that  mesh with other people's 'little quirks' and personalities.   When we are mixed together we make the best kind of stew. A stew that is seasoned with unconditional love and acceptance...