When I am nervous I do not want to talk. I withdraw from the human race and live in the quiet spots of my imagination. I also do not want anyone else talking b.s. to me while I am trying to restrain my emotions. Tommy is the complete and total opposite of me. When he is nervous he can't shut up! He talks non stop to any and everyone who will listen....even me. He knows I don't want to hear anything about deer, turkeys, dogs, cats or kids. I need for him to be quiet. It is impossible! He needs to be noisy and noisy he is. I was ready to strangle him before we reached Columbia city limits. He showed me every hunting spot he knew. I kept quiet and prayed, "Don't let me choot him!! " Once he said, "See that spot over there? I once saw two little boys and a dog walking on that hill." I looked at him over my glasses and mentally pushed him out of the car!
Not only was I hungry, I had a headache from lack of caffine and nothing was going to stop it but a huge hot cup of coffee. We arrived at the V.A. early as usual. The doors to x ray weren't open so we sat down in the Cardiac waiting room. There were 2 men waiting before we arrived. One man was in his 80's and a talker like Tommy. The other man was probably in his 50's and quietly listened to the new best friends exchange lies.
Tommy tells our life story and then it is the older man's turn to talk. I am reading. He skips his life story but went right straight to how he wanted to die. It seems his grandfather died when he was 85 after marrying a 18 year old girl. This was his plan also. I told him "that would probably do it" and went back to reading. Tommy poked me in the side and whispered "that wasn't very nice". I whispered back, "But it is true...he won't make it a week"...then my stomach growled. I looked at him over my glasses and he proceeded to talk to his new best friend and ignore me.
Finally it was Tommy's turn to see the doctor. Tommy immediately started in on some b.s. about turkey season. They took off together through the sliding doors for his procedure. Someone turned on the t.v. and I will be darn there was Al Gore lying his wazaoo off !!! I could not get a break at all. I just shook my head. This full moon phase was almost more than I could handle. The only thing that could possibly make me feel better was coffee, a delicious meal and maybe a bar room fight!
It was almost 15 minutes later when Tommy's doctor came through the doors laughing so hard I thought she was going to cry. She walked over to me and asked, "Have you both been on a clear liquid diet for 3 days?" I told her we had and asked why. She started laughing again and said, "You were only supposed to be on it for 3 hours before the procedure". I looked at her and said, "NO S**T"! She looked at me and said "no s**t"!!! She was trying to talk through her laughter. She said "I have never had this happen before". I replied that was because "you never met us". She went on to say "I had to tell you because I was afraid he wouldn't and I really wanted you to know." I started laughing at the absurdity of this whole mess. When Tommy came out he looked at me sheepishly and grinned. I laughed saying, "Tommy we are scary". He agreed---quietly.
All I know for sure is that we are dealing with a very serious situation pretty much the way the old cartoon characters Tom and Jerry would have done. We have got to get on the same page as these doctors and do what we are supposed to do. We really are trying. Every time we have been wrong, we thought we were right. We wrote this information down, however somewhere between Columbia and Williamsburg we lost the truth..probably when Tommy started talking about those damn turkeys...again.
No comments:
Post a Comment