I Think the Little Lady is Dying

 With all the atrocities occurring in our world today, my area of concern tonight seems almost pointless to mention.  In the over all scheme of life and nature, this is a small occurrence. Birth and death are a daily event.  However, I am very troubled by the story we are watching unfold in front of our living room window.

I have fed hummingbirds for the past 30 years. I feed, on an average, 60 a day during the summer. The only way a person can tell, is by the amount of birds showing up for the evening meal. That is the only time the little birds behave.  Or try to behave. They know everyone has to eat all they can to make it through the night. This is how I make my estimation. At best it is a guess.

Several weeks ago, I freed a female hummingbird from one of our feeders.  She had fallen off the perch, slipping one wing under the bottom of the feeder. She fought and tried to free herself, only to make the situation worse.  I don't know how long she had been stuck before I noticed what had happened to her. I really thought she would free herself. I watched for a few minutes. I realized she wasn't going anywhere. The lady needed help.


I went outside and gently pulled her free. I tried not to hurt her in the process. The little hen was stuck tighter than I originally thought. She didn't fight me. I think she was too scared to do anything. She knew she needed help. I held her in the palm of my hand for a few seconds, then she flew away. I was delighted.


Yesterday was extremely hot, 107. The day before was 110 and today there still is no relief in sight. My thermometer reads 104 now. I am having trouble keeping the hummingbird feeders full. The heat, this year seems to be bothering them, as well as everyone else. We desperately need rain.

While Tommy and I were talking today, we saw one of the females
begin to act strange.  She took a long drink and then looked up to the top of the feeder.  Other birds came in to wrestle her away from her spot. She refused to move, nor did she eat.  The procession of hummingbirds changed three times while she sat there motionless.  Finally she tried to eat, instead of looking down and getting a drink, she began to touch the side of the feeder. Over and over she did this. She never once connected with the nectar. Suddenly she raised her head straight up, falling backwards off the feeder.  She didn't fly down, she fell.


I ran outside to see what I could do. I fully expected to find her dead.  She was alive, however her neck seemed to be broken. It was at an odd angle.  When I stooped to pick her up, she revived making a feeble attempt to fly to the nearest tree. She made it, barely. Evidently her neck was not broken. However something was wrong with her.
   
 She sat on a small branch.  From a distance she appeared to be wobbly on the branch.  I left her alone, going back in the house to resume my vigil.  She was gone when I looked out the window. I went back outside to see if she had died and fallen to the ground.  I didn't see her anywhere. She flew away.  Hopefully she will make it. Is it the same little bird I helped earlier?  I have no idea. All I know for sure is this lady is hurt. The heat is taking its toll on everything and everyone. A long cool rain would help my corner of the world. 

    I am not sure the little lady will live through the night. Hopefully she will. I am wrong quite often. I hope I am wrong this time for sure.                          
                                                                    


The last two pictures posted were bought from zazzle.com .  Patrica Ann Rizzo(?) painted the picture of the birds in the rain. Susan E. Adams took the photo of the lone hummingbird. The first photo is one I took.
                                

"Tommy Carter would die if he couldn't flirt"

"Tommy Carter would die if he couldn't flirt."  That was a quote from one of our high school year books.  It was true then and it is true now!!!

We are blessed and lucky at the same time. We not only like each other, but we love each other deeply. However that does not change the nature of the beast!  Once a flirt, always a flirt.  

I enjoy it when we flirt with each other. Honestly, there are times I think we could take our "show"on the road. Our personalities mesh and feed off each other. At times we are hilarious!!  Other times --not so funny:)  I am used to this after 43 years of marriage.  I either join in or he gets the "look". Women know what the "look" means.  "Enough already, while you are still able to walk out of here!!!"  Sometimes he tries to ignore the "look" but that is futile. He knows it and shapes up---sooner or later:)

Monday we stopped in at a little Mom and Pop restaurant in Herman to eat lunch.  As soon as we were seated I noticed dollar bills hanging from the ceiling. I knew there was a story there and couldn't wait to hear it.

Our waitress turned out to be a very sweet, good looking high school girl.  I liked her immediately. I asked about the money on the ceiling and all of a sudden "Studly Tom" comes to the surface.  I hadn't seen him in awhile and I was amused.  I already knew how this was going down!!

She told us that customers threw dollar bills on the ceiling and in March the money would be donated to a special needs child.  They had pictures of different winners to prove this wasn't a hoax.  I was all for doing this. It was for a good cause and another first for us.

The waitress had already bought us a beer apiece. All we ever drink when we are driving is one beer.  It was 102 outside, we were "beer thirsty".  As the waitress was getting ready to leave with our order, Tommy pulls out the loose money in his jeans pocket.  He had $11.  I asked him to try and throw a dollar on the ceiling.  He said "OK," Flips through his money and says, "I think I will throw a $10 bill up there too."  I nearly choked on my swig of beer.

I started laughing, the waitress and I looked at each other then back to Tommy.  He was up and on his feet looking for a pin to stick in his money.  I asked him if he was spending our lunch money and he gave me his version of the "Look"

I whispered to the waitress, "Don't let him have any more beer!!!"  She started laughing and Tommy said, " I heard that!!'  He made 3 attempts before the bills finally stuck. I was laughing and shaking my head.  He sat down all puffed up and proud like a rooster.  I congratulated him on throwing $11 on the ceiling.  He then informed me it was for a good cause.  No argument there.

                             
                  

This is proof that Tommy officially has stuck money to the ceiling!! I can see the other dollar bills stuck close to his money.  It was a great day.  I only wanted to choke the snot out of him once!!!!  The "Look" worked:)             
 

Road Tripping to Chamois

Tommy and I love to 'road trip'.  Jump in the car and drive somewhere we have never been,  just to see what is there. We do this a lot and intend to do it more since the price of gas has dropped over the past few months.

This week we went to Chamois, Mo.  Tommy went with Jody a few weeks ago. Since that trip he has wanted me to go and see the 'sights' for myself. Sounded good to me!

I collect all sorts of things.  One of my favorite hobbies is taking photos of old houses and barns, in various states of decline. To spend time in places with a history, or a story to tell. Buildings that once housed families and barns that held their animals and supplies. I just let my imagination roam freely and soak up it's history.

                
This old house was in the middle of a field of corn.  A patch of ground had been thoughtfully cleared around it.  Trees grew up  inside the old house, forcing their way through the old boards, and the rusty tin roof to freedom on the outside.

It is probably the old home place.  The new generation to inherit the farm, didn't want to part with the past. They left it as a reminder of people who loved them and left them the land.  In my imagination at one time this was a lovely home.  Two stories tall, with a fireplace in the middle for heat. Heat that never completely reached the rooms up stairs. There is a double porch, sagging and ready to fall with the next windstorm or growth of the tree. The porch seems misplaced. I wonder if it extended more toward the middle of the house and the tree had already claimed that area, causing the porch to split in half. I will never know but it was an idea to explore and to imagine.

When we stumbled on this piece of history, we were in the middle of a huge S curve, with no place to turn around.  Finally we found a goat path, turned the car around, driving slowly so we wouldn't miss the entrance, an old dirt road from 100 years ago.

Driving past one corn field and venturing into the next we came to the old house.  The farm house is surrounded by huge shade trees.  Isolated in the midst of massive corn rows.

 As hot as it was that day, I walked toward the house. While standing in the shade of the oak and maple trees it was a least 10 degrees cooler. A breeze was blowing. Even though the air was hot,  filled with the smell of growing corn and rotting wood, I had the feeling I was not the first person to enjoy this breeze. To stand here and appreciate the hardships generations before us endured.

The dilapidated house had several chimneys. The door to the entrance of the home was open. The old screen door was closed, however the screen was in such a state of decline, it might as well have been open too. Trees were also growing from the inside out. Through  windows and pushing hard against the roof.  From the side view, I could see the kitchen area in the back. Foliage had taken over this area. It was not about to give up it's secrets to a stranger.  I walked off and left it to its memories.  They weren't mine to share anyway.

I live 10 miles, 7 as the crow flies, from a nuclear power plant. We had crossed 2 rivers, the Missouri and the Gasconade and still at one point the future was staring us in the face. It did not fit in with what I was seeing that day. The plant it is a waving reminder that time does not stand still.  Change will come.


We were traveling part of the Lewis and Clark Trail. The road looked like it had been paved by an asphalt snake. I am glad they left the roads curvy and sharp. We have enough interstates.


When we crossed the Gasconade River, there were birds flying everywhere. In my pictures they look like small black dots or mistakes. Far from it, they were interesting to watch. We also saw a family swimming in the river. They hadn't ventured out too far from the banks.  That is something I would never do in the Missouri River.  The river is one of our favorite places to fish. I have yet to be there when a under current  didn't explode a huge tree at least 30 feet long and 4 feet around up out of the water and fling it like it was a small branch. Racing along about 30 miles an hour, only to suck it back under the water. Waiting to erupt somewhere down the line. 

It looks peaceful, flowing easy and steady. I wonder what Lewis and Clark thought when they saw her for the first time? They were probably thrilled, finally they could put those boats down, they had been forced to carry through the woods and steep hills. What an adventure that would have been!  To see America as She was originally.

This barn caught my attention. I don't think it is all that old, I just liked how it looked.  It is not in the best of condition but it might be usable. It too, was in the middle of a corn field.


Soon it was time for our return trip, more photos were taken. Mostly of the old barns. However we did see a doe and her fawn in the middle of the road. The photo is blurry but it is the first time I have been able to catch them on film.  I am so proud of this less than perfect photo.

If you close one eye and squint, and let your imagination fill in the blanks, then you can see Mama and the baby cross the road.

I can't go any where without finding a mirror image and a perfect tree.  First the tree, I took shots of it from all directions. The one I like best turned out to be the one with poison ivy growing up it.  Who knew???
                                                          

                         
 This was taken at a little pond, somewhere not far from the road. I had a wonderful day tromping through the weeds, slipping back to  the past for a few hours.  However, next time I must remember not to wear flip flops!!  When a wander goes exploring, they need to take care of their feet as well as capture their version of the past.                  


                          

                                                          

Crossing the Border Into Canada for the First Time

It is the time of year when I have wanderlust on my mind.  We are in the process of planning a trip to the northwest.  With the exception of Hawaii, it is the only part of the United States we haven't explored yet.

We want to drive Highway 101. Visit the Redwoods, see Sherry, my cousin and do some camping in the mountains. Hopefully we will see the Seattle Sound.  We will travel like we usually do when we drive, take one route out and a different route back to home. It is like getting two vacations at the same time.  This trip should be a little over 4500 miles.

The longest "road trip" we have ever driven was when we drove to Alaska in 2001.  We took a month off from work, driving 9,967 miles round trip.  What an adventure it was. The sights we saw, the things we did were unbelievable to us. We still talk about that trip. I have written about it several times.  I still have not captured it completely or to my satisfaction.

When we lived in Yuma, Arizona we would leave the United States for a day and go to Mexico. However, we always knew we would be back by nightfall.  

Crossing into Canada was completely different.  We had taken I-15 to Shelby, Montana drove on a little further to Sweet Grass ate lunch and traded some of our American money for Canadian cash. At that time $300 of American  cash traded out to $400 Canadian cash. It was a good deal for the Americans. Things have changed now and I think the value is dollar for dollar.

Leaving the United States was no problem. We did not need a passport, we were wished a safe trip and sent on our merry way.  However as soon as we hit Canadian soil, things changed. There were two lanes of traffic going into Canada.  We were in the second lane.  Our little red station wagon was covered in dust and dirt. We were packed heavy.  Unsure of exactly what to pack for such a long trip, we over packed by about 100 pounds.  A pretty young lady motioned us to pull over for inspection.  I looked at Tommy and said, "You have got to be kidding me!"  He smiled and we got out of the car.

She told us her name and asked us a few questions. We showed our drivers license and proof of insurance. She wanted to see more identification.  Thank goodness we both had our state I.D.'s with us.

 She then told us she was going to check our car from top to bottom.  Then she turned to me and said, "Mam, where do you keep your money?"  My mouth was so dry I could hardly talk. I told her in my purse, Tommy's wallet and the glove compartment. She shocked me when she informed me that those 3 places would not be searched. That statement made no sense to me at all, but I did not argue. 

 She turned around and entered the small building where the other border guards were working.  When she came back out, she was snapping on a pair of rubber gloves.  In my overactive mind I was waiting to hear, "Put your hands on the car and spread 'em"  Thank God that did not happen.  She did go through all our luggage, the extra snacks, sodas, tent, blankets, pillows, tapes, books, writing journals and anything else we thought we might need.  Luckily for us she found Tommy's camera.  We hadn't seen it sense we left home. I had mine in my purse and his was stuck in a box of crackers.  Go figure....

We could go to the bathroom, one at a time. Someone had to stay with the car at all times. Soon everything we had packed was laying on a cart.  She smiled at us, telling us to enjoy our stay in Canada, turned around and walked off.

Tommy and I looked at each other and stared at the mess we had to put back in the car.  It didn't fit as well the second time. For some reason we felt 'violated'. It was an odd feeling.  A stranger had just rummaged through our belongings.  Rearranged our mess. It was an odd uncomfortable feeling.  I was no longer on American soil. It took 2 hours and 3 beers before I shook off the feeling and began to relax.

As we drove on into Canada we soon realized that we were on our own for sure. The speed limit was in kilometers, gas was in liters and the weather temperature was in celsius.  I had a flashback to 8th grade, when we were supposed to learn metric system.  I memorized it for the test, then promptly forget it.  In my infinite wisdom at the ripe age of 12, I did not think I would use the metric system again.  I really did not think the world would ever use it, either.  Like I have said before, when I am wrong---I am wrong.

It took us 5 days to drive through Canada. It is one of the most beautiful places I have ever seen.  If Tommy and I taken this trip when we were young, our children would have been born in the Yukon. It would have been a rough life at times, however I think the adventures we would have had, would balance out the harshness.


In 2001 there were not a lot of rest areas. We soon learned to stop when we saw one and to gas up.  Outhouses were everywhere. That was new and a surprise to me. I passed on the first outhouse we came to, after that experience I did not pass on another one.

When our trip was almost over, we were once again crossing the border into the states. The US border guard asked if we had anything of value to declare. We told her "no, just a lot of wonderful memories."  She smiled and said, "Welcome Home".  We crossed back into the United States without ever getting out of our car.  I am sure that has changed in these past 11 years. 

Everything has changed in the past 11 years.  9-11 happened 11 days after we arrived home. War is still everywhere. It is obvious anyone could easily be a suspect, or a terrorist.  Traveling is stricter and for good reason.  And yet we still continue to travel and discover the beauty of this less than perfect world. For me this is a wonderful idea. Many adventures are just around the corner. I look forward to them all.

Never buy Your Parent's a Dog

While cleaning out my hobby room for the 5th time this year, I found a journal from 2004.  Once I found this tidbit of the past, my work was done.  I began reading entries and reliving moments.  Things I have not thought about in ages, are speaking loud and  clear to me now.

It was October 13, 2004.  I had gone to Kentucky to see Mama and Daddy.  Mama was still home at that time. I would usually come home on my days off and take 3 extra days of my sick time. I did this once a month. That would give me 5 days to be with Mama and to rest Daddy.  He had his hands full with Mama.

The last 3 or 4 times I came home, Daddy mentioned that he wished he had a little house dog. He thought he would enjoy that.  I really thought it would be a mistake, however I am wrong quite often so I began my search for a dog for Daddy.

Donnie Fowler, one of my best friends from work, told me I was wasting my time trying to get a dog for an elderly couple.  He said they needed to pick out their own dog.  I was certain I could find a good reliable dog.  Donnie was right!

The dog needed to be small, housebroken, friendly and like to travel.  Daddy wanted to take the dog with him when he went for rides in the country.

I ended up at the Humane Society alias the dog pound. Here is where I met Millie.  She was the ugliest dog there.  She had an appaloosa rear end combined with a rat terrier body and head. She was 8 years old, had the croup or kennel cough, was slightly deaf and did not like kids.  She had the same personality as Daddy!!!  I figured it was a match made in heaven.

The woman in charge told me all about Millie's life.  She had lost the people who belonged to her in a car accident.  She desperately needed to be loved again. I was all but sobbing after hearing this tragic story.  The woman assured me the cough would clear up as soon as she was out of the kennel environment.  I walked Millie on a leash. She did fine.  She was really growing on me.  Her eyes were beautiful and sad at the same time.  I wanted Millie for Daddy and I wanted Daddy to like Millie.

After the paper work was done, the lady told me I could bring her back if it didn't work out in Kentucky. She loved Millie too.  OK, now I had more than a plan ---- I had a dog for Daddy, an exit plan for me just in case I was wrong and things did not work out as I envisioned.

As soon as Sunday rolled around, I drove to Kentucky with my new traveling companion.  I thoroughly enjoyed the trip with Millie. Since she was slightly deaf, she didn't care how loud the music was played.  We stopped often so she could walk and potty. She was a delight on the trip.

The closer we drove to Kentucky, the more anxious I became. I had no clue how Daddy would react when we got there. I never knew that from one trip to the next.  Only this time I was throwing a dog in the mix.  Well one thing was sure, I would find out sooner rather than later.  We had just hit the city limits of Clinton.  I said a little prayer, "Please let Daddy like this dog".  Apparently God was very busy that day, because when we got out of the car at Mama's home, Daddy came out and said, "What the hell is that???"  Your dog Millie, I replied.  Daddy says and I quote, " That's not a dog----that's a hairy rat!!!  I want a Rottweiler!!!"  And it went downhill from there!!

We all entered the house, exchange hugs, kisses and small talk.  About that time Mama sees the dog and thinks it is a little cat. A cute little cat!  Then Millie coughs---a long drawn out cough she must have been saving for 3 days. Her whole body shakes, rattles and rolls. Daddy yells "Cover your mouth Betty, there is no telling what that dog has!!"  And Mama does. It was a scene right out of the old t.v. series, "The Twilight Zone". Not one person was acting even remotely sane at that time.

I had been awake for 16 hours and was a little loopy. Mama had Alzheimer's, Daddy and Millie were just being themselves.  There we were for the next 5 days.

I tried to get Daddy to take Millie for a ride in his truck. He informed me that he didn't want anyone to see him with such a mutt.  

Mama's memory was fading fast but she remembered to cover her mouth every time she saw Millie.  Poor Mama sat around most of the time curled up in her rocking chair with her hand over her mouth.--afraid of the coughing cat!!  When I am wrong--I am really, really wrong.

Millie and I left in a few days. Daddy gave me strict instructions not to bring another dog home.  I didn't.  Mama kissed and hugged me and whispered in my ear, "I like your cat".  I told her I was glad she liked Millie. We had almost made it out of the house when Millie had another coughing spell!  All I could do was grab her and run to the car. As soon as I was behind the wheel, I took a xanax, a slug of water and headed for Missouri.  Breathing easy for the first time in 5 days.

That is the last time I will ever buy a dog for anyone except myself. I returned Millie to the shelter. The owner was glad to have her back. 

I went to work and listened to a week's worth of "I told you so's" finally things returned to normal. Unfortunately at my house, "Normal is just a setting on the dryer."

Two Yappin' Chihuahua's and 10 Frozen Pot Pies!

Tommy and I have been together forever.  However, like most couples we have our days when all is not bliss in our little corner of the world.  Last Wednesday was such a day.


I had six places I needed to visit last Wednesday.  I told Tommy this before we left the house.  He was good with the plan. I had my  doubts because he is a "hunter" type of shopper. He knows what he wants, he goes and gets it and then he is ready to go home. Six places to go,  are five too many for him.  However, he insisted on going.  I usually enjoy our outings.   Usually.


We left the house by 8:30 a.m.---without eating breakfast.  First mistake of the day.  If we don't eat by 10 a.m. we get mean!!!  Literally MEAN!!! Our blood sugar gets out of whack and we turn into two snapping  Chihuahua's.  It was 1 p.m. before we remembered this.


Soon we are at town. I tell Tommy where to go first.  We are doing fine, going a little faster than I like, but we are getting my list checked off,  that was all that mattered --at that time.


Finally, we are ready to go to WalMart and buy our groceries. We have started to snap at each other. Not a good sign.  He parked the car in left field--literally. It was hot as hell, and we park almost in the next county.  I asked him why we were parking there. Tommy informed me that no one would block us in!!!!   Who gets blocked in at WalMart????  No one!!!  It can't be done! Snap!!

We are still discussing this as we walk into the air conditioned sink hole where all our money is usually sucked out of our billfolds. I grab a buggy.  Tommy takes it away from me. He has a thing about driving----even buggies. Snap! Snap! Crunch!!! I shop he--he pushes the cart. 

 We start getting items on our list, when I remember we are out of pot pies.  This is our stand by, when neither one of us wants to cook.  Microwavable pot pies and dinner is ready in 6 minutes. As I get in the cooler and grab 10 pot pies, Tommy takes off down another isle. I didn't know this. I turn around to dump them in the cart and no one is there.  I may have uttered a curse word then. I know I was thinking of one in particular.

I start walking down the isle juggling 10 boxes of pot pies. I  can't find him anywhere!!!  People were looking at me funny.  One lady told me to get a cart. I told her I HAD a cart.  She looked at me like I was crazy!!  Evidently if she couldn't see the cart, then I didn't have one!!!  I am 3 seconds away from dropping all 10 pot pies in the floor when I see Tommy down isle 3--getting bread.  I call out to him to come help me and he looks at me like he has never seen me before.  If he hadn't been in a group of people I would have done a hail Mary and hit him with a frozen pot pie!!!  Snap, Bam, on my part.

I finally get to the buggy and asked him why he left me.  His answer "You need to keep up!"  Short, sweet and to the point.  We shop together a little while longer. I keep one hand on the buggy, just in case he decides to visit the bread isle again! 


Neither one of us can remember if we needed milk. It wasn't on the list so I was on the side of, "No we do not need milk"  However, Tommy thought we were just about out.  Ordinarily this would be a no brainer, we would have just bought the milk.  Today it mattered. Snip, snap, snip!!!  We got the milk, deciding to leave the store. This was just not working.


Once we are in the car, I tell Tommy I am starved. He agrees. He is starved too. It is almost 12:20 and we need to eat, or shoot something. It didn't matter much to me at that point.  We arrived at Karen's, completely famished.  She knows us and she could tell by the way we were acting that something was wrong.  


As soon as we start eating, we begin to feel better. I no longer wanted to hit him with a frozen pot pie and he didn't want to leave me stranded on the side of the road! 


Then we start talking. Next we start laughing. Finally, I start laughing and crying at the same time.  I told him about wanting to hit him with the pot pie and that's when I found out he wanted to push me out of the car. We entertained the customer's in Karen's for at least 40 minutes. Everyone was laughing.  It is good to have a life partner that you can be mad as hell at one minute while laughing at the absurdity of the situation the next.  After 43 years, I will drink to that!!!!!

                                  

The Hardest Card She Never Bought

   Sunday is Father's Day.  It is a special day to give recognition and gratitude to father's for the part each man played in the life of his family. It is the time to acknowledge the respect and love shown by fathers over the years. It should be a happy day. However, for some people, this is a day of mixed emotions.               While shopping in WalMart the other day, buying cards and a gift, I watched a young woman trying to buy a card for her father or for the father of her child or both men.  Something about the young woman touched my heart and caught my imagination.  She had a little girl, about 2 years old in her cart waiting patiently.  The child was sucking her thumb while watching me watch her mom. She swung her legs and twirled her dark curly hair with one finger. She was slowly getting sleepy.
   I didn't know the young woman.  However, within 30 minutes of watching her try to buy a Father's Day card, I knew a lot about her.  She cries easily in public. She wasn't a happy person.  The message on the card was very important to her. All of the messages she read cut her to the bone with an invisible knife. She bled tears over words she did not write.
   Over and over she would pick up a card, read it, cry and slam the card back where it originally belonged. The longer she stood there the more unconcerned she became about where the card should be replaced.
  The longer she read, the sadder she became. She could find nothing that expressed her feelings. Cards of caring, reliability, help, unconditional love, pride, acceptance and always being there for her through the years were cards she could not buy. They were lies and she could no longer sign her name to another lie. Finally, she looked at her little girl, gave her a kiss on top of the head and walked off to another aisle. She never knew I was standing there.
  As I started to walk away, I began to think about how important fathers are to their children.  A father teaches a little boy how to be a man.  A father is the first man his daughter will love.  Through his eyes, she will see herself probably for the rest of her life. His words will forever be the recording that plays in her mind...loop, after loop.  He lays the framework for a love life with another man years down the road. This man will have to love her back to health.
  Buying a card for someone you love or want to love should not cause you despair, frustration or make you cry. Some man or men missed an opportunity to make this young woman feel loved and of value. She continues fighting the same old battle over and over again.
  I hope she finds what she is looking for soon. I hope there is a second chance in her near future.  It doesn't take long for a year to roll around and she will find herself repeating these same actions once again until a change is made.  Until forgiveness happens and respect is restored, or until she lets go of her idea of what a father should be, and moves on with her life; accepting the fact that not all men should be fathers. It has nothing to do with her.
  If I knew where this young woman lived, I would send her this card however, I don't. Hopefully, someday she will look in the mirror and like what she sees regardless of what she hears in her recorded memory.

                                 

"It's all Because you are Left Handed....."

While I was helping Tommy remove a rotten stump the other day, I found these three pieces of unusual wood.  When I held them in my hand, they made me think of the Anasazi Indian dwellings in Colorado.  

I showed them to Tommy and asked him what he thought.  He thought they looked like rotten wood. I began to show him what I was seeing. To me, I could see a rock mountain where Indians used to live.  The holes were the cavernous ruins of their dwellings.  We saw these places in Colorado and Arizona.  I have a postcard of it somewhere! It was plain as day to me, how strong a resemblance the wood portrayed the Indian cave dwellings.

I turned around and walked over to my "play area, Matlacha."  I put the 'ruins' in an old orange birdbath, added some sand and shells to the scene. I took a step back and smiled.  I was very pleased with what I saw.

Tommy walks over and says "Are you gonna leave that rotten wood in the birdbath?"

"Yes I am"

"Why?" he wanted to know.

"Because I like it there and it tells a story to me",  I replied.

I never should have said that!!!  

Tommy says, "If you ask me ( and I didn't) too many "things" tell you "stories"!!!

I started walking back to the house and Tommy begins laughing. "You know it is all because you are left handed!!!!  Something in your wiring is crossed"

I turn around and give him the only sign language wave I know.  As I  walk off I tell him, "Just wait until you see what I write about you tonight!!!"  

We were both laughing----I was the only one serious:)

I don't care what he says, I can see those cave dwellings!  He probably can too and is just too aggravating to admit it to me. 

Remembering Love at First Sight

I believe in love at first sight.  I know it is real, valid and indisputable in my heart and in my life.  People argue that love at first sight is just an emotion that will not last. I beg to differ. I have experienced this emotion or love. It has not faded, lapsed or left in over ten years. It never will either.


When Tami was seven or eight months pregnant with Jacy, she had her second ultra sound. I went with Tami and Aaron that day.  The first ultra sound they went alone to find out  the sex of the baby.  They told us at a special dinner we had for the family that night at a restaurant called "Mom's Restaurant" in Fulton. It was so exciting to find out that we were having a granddaughter.


When they asked me to go with them for the second ultra sound, I was elated. When I was pregnant with my girls, none of these options were available for us. With Tami and Melodi, I did get to hear the heart beat. That was amazing for us. I remember tears filled my eyes as I listened to the rapid beat of a new life.


As the nurse prepped Tami for the ultra sound, I was looking around at all the monitors, and gadgets in the small room. Finally the nurse began rolling a monitor, for lack of the right word, over Tami's stomach.  Then we saw her!  Jacy was sitting up with her legs crossed and she was sucking her thumb. I was speechless. Never in a million years did I expect to see what my eyes were seeing. It was impossible to make out her features but we got a general idea of what she looked like. We knew she had hair. I remember us laughing and exclaiming,  "Oh look she has hair!!"  Then Jacy took her thumb out of her mouth and stretched.  One little arm shot up in the air, her back arched and then she kicked her right leg.  I think we may have applauded----I know we were beyond happy. All too soon it was over and we left the hospital.

 All the way home we talked about it. When I finally reached my home, I woke Tommy up and told him in great detail what I had seen. In fact, I think I talked about it all night.  Never had I seen anything as wondrous as the sight of my unborn granddaughter, sucking her thumb and stretching. This modern age does have it's advantages.


The other day I read a post on face book that Cathy Kelley Carter just found out that she will have a granddaughter soon.  I sat there and smiled and remembered how we had felt. She knows what I am talking about.


Do I believe in love at first sight?  Absolutely!!!  I have experienced it first hand and the love hasn't lessened one bit. In fact, it has increased over the years. To me, that is the way love should be.

It was Just one of Those Days....

This picture was taken a couple of years ago. I ran across it last night while I was searching for the scotch tape.  Never did find the tape.  After I saw this picture I sat down and started remembering that day.  I am still shaking my head as I try to remember exactly when Tommy and I lost control of the entire day!!!

My grandchildren Jacy and Logan came out to spend a couple of days with us.  This is before we found out that everything, absolutely everything in or around my home, Logan is allergic to in a big way!! Thankfully the shots he takes now are helping, however that is another story.

 It rained the first day they were there.  We made cookies, watched  Disney movies and played with Barbie's.  I had to come up with a story line so Logan could play with us too. We found all his rubber sharks and the story began to evolve.  The Barbie dolls were stranded on an island, surrounded by --- you guessed it sharks.

I was in charge of the sound affects.  I had the music to Jaws down pat. I did the slow, creepy tune as the sharks entered the water. The sharks circled the island, mine kept going in closer and closer. Logan was loving it, Jacy was scared to death!!!!  She threw her Barbie on the bed and fled the room----crying.  Tommy came in and wanted to know why on earth I was scaring my granddaughter!!!  When I explained that sharks were about to eat her Barbie, he suggested we find something else to play.

I was out of ideas. Thankfully Tommy wasn't.  He suggested we go outside, put up an old tent and let the kids play in there.  Everyone thought that was a great idea. 

After an hour of trying to figure out how to put the tent up, the kids were ready to play.  This is where it gets complicated. Jacy was in the tent and Logan was outside with Papaw. I was standing by the tent.

I remember I had given the camera to Tommy to take a cute picture of the babies and their tent.  All of a sudden someone yells and both kids start running toward each other. Jacy was coming out of the tent, Logan was running into the tent! In a flash I knew this was not going to end well at all!!! It was like  watching a huge snowball, rolling down a mountain, there was no stopping what was about to happen.  Both kids were running and ran into each other at the tent door....... head butted is more like it!!!  Logan is knocked flat on his back, screaming and holding his head.  Jacy is in the process of screaming and falling back inside the tent. I am at the tent door in a state of panic, wondering how I am going to explain these bruises to Tami!!  That is when my darling husband takes the picture!!!  He looks at me and says, "Well, you wanted something cute!!!! .... this is damn cute" and he starts laughing. He is laughing uncontrollably! It is contagious, I bust out laughing while I am grabbing crying kids. Tommy gets Logan.  I get Jacy and we try to soothe their boo boos as we continue to laugh. The kids got mad at us for laughing. I couldn't help it, nor could I quit laughing. It was one of those things that had to run its course. Finally, it did.

Tommy and I washed their faces and held them. We sat in our swing and tried to make up for our misplaced sense of humor.  We dried their tears and tried to keep the little knots from forming on their foreheads. Eventually it worked and we were back in their good graces.  We just sat there holding them, telling them stories about when their Mama was little.They love hearing those stories as much as we like telling them. Those stories have gotten me off the hook more than once.


As I sit here writing and looking at the picture, I can't help but notice that even the dogs are rough housing.  It was just one of those days.  One of those unpredictable days that makes life worth remembering.

 

Pictures Can be Deceiving

I love this picture. It is of my grandchildren during a McDonald's outing. It looks so sweet and peaceful. The play area is empty. We have the room all to ourselves. Pure bliss....there is even music playing.

 However, this picture was made five minutes after all hell had broken loose in the restaurant.  The three of us walk in, just about lunch time.  We are waiting in line, a very long line, when Logan has to go to the bathroom.  No problem, he tells me what he wants and off he goes.  Jacy is waiting patiently with me. She already knows what she wants. I am about to decide my meal when Logan comes back wanting to know what we are still doing in line. I tell him we should be next and to have some patience.

Soon we get our orders and are in the process of filling our drinks. That is when Logan notices only two packs of fries. He wanted to know where his fries were.  I leave them filling up our cups and getting catchup, while I go get his fries.  In hindsight this probably wasn't a good idea.  Logan dropped his soda and Jacy had enough catchup for ten people.

I get back to the kids with the extra fries, fix Logan another drink, load my tray with all the catchup in the world and proceed to the kids play area. Jacy was going first, she was supposed to get the door, although  I didn't mention it---I just thought she would.  I was wrong. She went flying through the door and I am right behind her with both hands on our tray.  The door slams and food, catchup, french fries, sodas everything---except her chicken nuggets goes flying through the air.  

Complete silence in the play room. Kids quit playing and look pale and are ready to leave. Parents yank their kids up and give us a look like we have bombed the area and they begin to run for the door.  That was pointless, no one could get out the door for all the food and soda and catchup all over the windows, door and floor. Not to mention Logan and myself.

I looked at Jacy and I thought she was gonna pass out. Completely white.  She ran  through the mess  and got napkins and started cleaning up. A janitor came in and worked on the floor and walls. after the mess was cleaned up, we went to the bathroom and cleaned ourselves up. I looked like I had been shot twice and Logan shot once.

As we came out of the restroom, we had new orders waiting for us--minus the french fries. Logan started to object and I reminded him of what a mess the three of us had made. 

We ate the meal very quietly. Each of us playing over in our minds the complete chaos of the past few minutes.  We all apologized to each other. While discussing our plan to get through a door with food safely.  We now have a plan.


There was a young boy mopping the floor and making sure everything was clean. I walked over and gave him $5.  He didn't want to take it, he earned it and I needed the help. Except for leaving, it was the least I could do for him.


We finish and I ask the kids to pose for a picture. They grabbed each other in a hug that lasted two seconds. Then Logan says, "Jacy it really was all your fault!!!"  The fight is on and we are leaving.  Someone had the nerve to ask, "Nonnie can we get ice cream?" A rather loud thunderous "NO" echoed through McDonald's. Followed quickly by, "Get in the car!!!"


Once we got home, everything was fine. There was no need to mention the incident to Tami.  We have gone to McDonald's many times since that disaster.  I must admit, they recognize us as soon as we walk in. Someone grabs a mop, just in case!


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Remembering a Delightful Day

This picture makes me think of a perfect day at the beach.  I have it framed and sitting on my desk.  When I look at it I remember----everything about that morning.

It was early May, Tommy and I were visiting Lisa and Lisle, our oldest daughter and her husband in Naples, Florida.  We got up early that morning to watch the sun rise over the ocean.

It was about 5 a.m. when we all staggered to the kitchen to grab our coffee and make final plans for the day.  

The night before, the moon was closer to the earth than it will be for a year or so. It was gorgeous. With camera in hand, I am out in the night air taking pictures of the moon.  When I saw the pictures, I knew I would be the only one to know the story.  That's alright with me. I saw it in all it's beauty. It was impossible to capture it with my camera. Lisle was also outside taking pictures. As we sipped our first cup of coffee we  were exchanging pictures taken the night before.  He could be our son, we are so much alike.  He is the son of my heart.

Finally the coffee kicks in and we are ready to go to the beach. We are on island time, no need for a watch.  We get to the ocean in about 15 minutes. It is just beginning to dawn. 'Shellers' are walking the beach looking for the perfect sea shell the ocean deposited on shore while we slept. I can't wait to join them.  First and foremost on my mind is the sunrise. I don't want to miss a moment of it.

                               

                
This is the beginning of the sunrise. It was almost too dark to take a picture.  I wanted to try and I am glad I did.

Slowly the sun began it's rise. People began to join us on the pier and in the sand.  Camera's were flashing, dolphins were putting on a show for us.  The regulars, a group of old men who meet on the pier each morning to drink coffee and watch the sunrise, were there.

 I couldn't wait any longer. I had to go look for shells.  The ocean does indeed give up some beauties. I was hoping to find a piece of sea glass but it didn't happen that day.

We stayed at the pier long enough for it to change crowds at least three times. 

                                                                                                             I took this picture under the pier later that morning.  Little kids were running everywhere, but this egret was taking a slow walk, ignoring us.

 It was a good mind cleansing kind of day. Slow, easy and beautiful.  What more could I ask for?  After we returned to the house we all collapsed for a couple of hours.  Letting our minds and bodies regroup, heal and store the memories.  Memories to be resurfaced  at a later date and relived again.  

                                                     

Our Goofy Woodpecker, Morris

If life were a perfect place, our woodpecker "Morris" would not fit in at all. He has no people skills, and not many bird skills, yet he continues to bless our home with oddball antics.. He makes me laugh. That is all the requirement I need to keep him around.   

Morris does have some kind of problem. If he were a human, he would be schizophrenic. He lives in his own little world. Clearly he is not medicated. Nor should he be!

Morris has lived with us for the past three or four years.  In the summer time he desperately wants to be a hummingbird.  In the winter a cardinal and in the spring a finch. He tries his best to eat from their feeders.  He can't do it, or seldom does it right, if at all.  

I heard him tapping away on some metal in the front yard.  Finally, I got up to see what on earth he was doing this time.  He was at the finch feeder banging away on a metal flower. Bam, bam, bam. and then he'd stop. Look around and start the whole process again. He is always surprised when nothing materializes. His weight keeps the feeder closed to him. All he gets is the decorations covering the food from scavengers like him!   I keep telling him," there is only so much you can do with a metal flower." However, he is the proverbial knot head.

 He bangs away on the metal roof of the garage at least twice a day. Futile for him.....funny to me, frustrating for Tommy.  If the definition for 'insanity' is correct,' doing the exact same thing over and over, expecting different results.' Then Morris has a problem.

I like it when he tries to eat from the hummingbird feeders.  He swoops in, grabs the feeder fiercely while trying to hang on from the underneath side. Stretching his neck as far as it will go, he slips his bill up and  over to the feeder trying to get a sip.  I will say this much......he is persistent. Not very graceful, but persistent. At times he will swing from one feeder while trying to eat from another feeder close to him. We call that his "flying trapeze act".  The circus acts have nothing to fear where Morris is concerned. His show will never go on the road.


I have tried to feed him treats.  I spent $5.00 on a piece of suet that was encased in metal. He tore it all to heck in one day!!! The suet ended up in pieces on the ground. The metal hung by one prong and the bird was back to thinking he was a cardinal.  Swinging from the cardinal's bird feeder. Strolling bird food all over the ground. Then for a few minutes he was happy.


Tommy and I enjoy watching this little guy.  At times he is better than most t.v. shows.  He never learns, but keeps trying. Truthfully, I think he has tapped on tin one too many times and is just not right in the head anymore. Whatever his mental condition, he is a welcomed addition to our less than perfect home. He fits right in.