Our Goofy Woodpecker, Morris

If life were a perfect place, our woodpecker "Morris" would not fit in at all. He has no people skills, and not many bird skills, yet he continues to bless our home with oddball antics.. He makes me laugh. That is all the requirement I need to keep him around.   

Morris does have some kind of problem. If he were a human, he would be schizophrenic. He lives in his own little world. Clearly he is not medicated. Nor should he be!

Morris has lived with us for the past three or four years.  In the summer time he desperately wants to be a hummingbird.  In the winter a cardinal and in the spring a finch. He tries his best to eat from their feeders.  He can't do it, or seldom does it right, if at all.  

I heard him tapping away on some metal in the front yard.  Finally, I got up to see what on earth he was doing this time.  He was at the finch feeder banging away on a metal flower. Bam, bam, bam. and then he'd stop. Look around and start the whole process again. He is always surprised when nothing materializes. His weight keeps the feeder closed to him. All he gets is the decorations covering the food from scavengers like him!   I keep telling him," there is only so much you can do with a metal flower." However, he is the proverbial knot head.

 He bangs away on the metal roof of the garage at least twice a day. Futile for him.....funny to me, frustrating for Tommy.  If the definition for 'insanity' is correct,' doing the exact same thing over and over, expecting different results.' Then Morris has a problem.

I like it when he tries to eat from the hummingbird feeders.  He swoops in, grabs the feeder fiercely while trying to hang on from the underneath side. Stretching his neck as far as it will go, he slips his bill up and  over to the feeder trying to get a sip.  I will say this much......he is persistent. Not very graceful, but persistent. At times he will swing from one feeder while trying to eat from another feeder close to him. We call that his "flying trapeze act".  The circus acts have nothing to fear where Morris is concerned. His show will never go on the road.


I have tried to feed him treats.  I spent $5.00 on a piece of suet that was encased in metal. He tore it all to heck in one day!!! The suet ended up in pieces on the ground. The metal hung by one prong and the bird was back to thinking he was a cardinal.  Swinging from the cardinal's bird feeder. Strolling bird food all over the ground. Then for a few minutes he was happy.


Tommy and I enjoy watching this little guy.  At times he is better than most t.v. shows.  He never learns, but keeps trying. Truthfully, I think he has tapped on tin one too many times and is just not right in the head anymore. Whatever his mental condition, he is a welcomed addition to our less than perfect home. He fits right in.